It’s a story that’s been told many times and in many ways, but whether it’s 18th century France, 1930’s Shanghai, or a prep school in 90’s Manhattan, this tale of two warring ex-lovers is always a skinsational one. With the newest series version already gaining popularity, it’s the perfect time to rank each take on Pierre Choderlos de Laclos’ infamous tale of seduction and revenge.
6. Les Liaisons Dangereuses (2003)
A French miniseries that moves the story to Paris in the 1960’s, it boasts an impressive cast including the first lady of French cinema Catherine Deneuve, Rupert Everett, and 70’s sex kitten Nastassja Kinski. But unfortunately there’s not much nudity, save for a tiny tip of nip while Nastassja’s in a bathtub and, not to be entirely shrugged off, a scantily clad Leelee Sobieski sporting some truly dangerous curves.
****
5. Valmont (1989)
Set in the original time period, this film has a few minor plot differences and a bit more skin from stars Annette Bening, who shows off her booty in two scenes, and Meg Tilly, during steamy bedroom scene with Colin Firth.
****
4. Dangerous Liaisons (2012)
This one gets points for the placing the story in 1930’s Shanghai, its beautiful design, and its even more beautiful cast. Candy Wang (which might be the best name ever) strips down for a skintimate self portrait, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon’s Ziyi Zhang gets hot and heavy in the kitchen, and Dan Tong Han starts the film off right with her amazing ass!
****
3. Cruel Intentions (1999)
The quintessential 90’s adaptation that spawned two other films plus a jukebox musical, it reimagines the characters as upper class New York teens and became a cult classic for its sexy cast of Hollywood up-and-comers, notably, Reese Witherspoon, as well as its insertion of the much talked about lip locks between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair. Bonus: there's a little-known deleted scene with a topless Alisha Klass!
****
2. Dangerous Liaisons (2022-)
Perhaps the most refreshing take, while keeping the original setting, it takes story back to the ill-fated romance between Valmont and Merteuil. And while there’s only been one episode so far, its already shown some breathtaking boobage, including a nice peek at Alice Englert’s right peak.
****
1. Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
It’s hard to knock the one that started it all off the top of the list. Everything about it is legendary - the writing, the costumes, and the amazing performances from its upper echelon actors. But even without all of that, this film also has the best nudity of the bunch. Valerie Gogan and Laura Benson both end up naked in bed with John Malkovich, though for different reasons, and the same year Uma Thurman posed for a live Birth of Venus recreation in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, she completely bared her breasts as the naive Cécile in a star-making nude scene.
****