Do you come from your gland down under? You certainly will once you lay your eyes on creamy blonde Australian actress Naomi Watts. Her new flick, Funny Games (2008), comes out today. It's skinless, but Naomi's back catalogue provides loads of lusty flesh flashes to keep us more than occupied. What a ca-REAR!
Though Naomi is known primarily as an Australian, she and her family actually didn't move there until 1982. Watts is actually a Brit, born in Kent, England, in 1968. Showbiz was in her blood from the beginningher mother was a costume and set designer, and her father, Peter Watts, was the road manager and sound engineer for Pink Floyd. "My home was an underwear-free zone," she laughs of her hippie childhood. Must've been good practice for her future il-LUST-rious acting career!
After Naomi's father's death, the family moved to Sydney, where budding beauty Naomi began to take acting classes. At a casting call for a commercial, she met and shared a cab with another Aussie up-and-comer named Nicole Kidman (Picture: 1, 1), and the two remain the breast of friends to this day. "Nicole Kidman and I want to do a film about our friendship . . . but I imagine audiences want something a little, well, juicier," Naomi recently giggled, but the pair actually appeared together early in their careers in the unfortunately non-juicy teeny bopper drama Flirting (1992).
It wasn't long until young Naomi, like her chick chum Nic, busted out her not-so-teeny boppers onscreen. In Gross Misconduct (1993), she starred opposite Jimmy Smits and gave him some mini-tits when she whipped off her robe (Picture: 1). Some dark-thatched underpatch was also visible, though it may have been the work of a dastardly double.
There was no such snatch stubble in Naomi's next outing, the big-budget comic-book adaptation Tank Girl (1995). For her role of Jet Girl, her hair was dyed jet black, though the juicy jets that lurked beneath her tank top remained hidden away.
Though fans surely bemoaned her lack of skin exposure in the flick, it certainly helped out her exposure in the acting world, as she slowly increased her lovely, dainty-featured profile in the video scarefest Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996), the period piece Dangerous Beauty (1998), and on television shows such as Sleepwalkers. But the tide was about to turn for the astoundingly hott Watts. Sultan of strange David Lynch picked out her headshot from a stack of hundreds and, bewitched by her cool, Hitchcockian blondeness, immediately cast her in the dual role of Betty/Diane in his critically acclaimed, crotchally strained Mulholland Dr. (2001).
A nightmarish tale of Hollywood gone sour with more twists than a pretzel stand at the mall, Mulholland Dr. (Picture: 1, 2) made a ton of money, made David Lynch an Oscar nominee, made Naomi a breakout star in America, and, most skinportantly, made audiences quake with lust while watching the nymphlike blonde engaging in self-love on a couch and mashing mams with exotic stunner Laura Harring (Picture: ). "It's always nerve racking to take off your clothes on film," Naomi says. "But doing it with a woman felt safer than with a man." Watts up, doc? Your lap!
Nao's nay-nays took a clothed breather in the horror hit The Ring (2002), which further cemented her star status as a blockbusting cinematic force. That same year, she balanced screams with creams when Watts turned us all on with one incandescent chest bulb in the wild west tale The Outsider (2002).
Naomi's fans, of course, wanted to be Insider, and they got their wish when living vicariously through lucky Sean Penn in the brutal drama 21 Grams (2003). Mr. Skin prefers the title 2 Mams, however, since a jaw-dropping close-up of the Aussie's booberangs is the highlight of the flick (Picture: 1). Naomi was nominated for her first Best Actress Oscar for the role, which is not surprising, seeing how it made fans polish their own bald-headed statuettes.
So powerful is the sizzling sensuality of the wondrous Watts that she was able to inject a fraction of flesh into the PG-13, humungous-budget remake of King Kong (2005) (Picture: 1). Naomi reprised Fay Wray's legendary role as the silky sylph who captures the heart of a hulking, hairy beast, and, true to history, Naomi even had audiences spanking their giant monkeys when she recreated Wray's nip slip (Picture: 1) from the original film! She said, "She (Wray) looked up at me and went, 'You're not Ann Darrow. I am! . . . At the end of the night . . . she whispered in my ear, 'Ann Darrow is in good hands.'" Good hands . . . and great glands!
2005 also saw a wider release of Ellie Parker, which originated as a sixteen-minute short in 2001 and, as scenes were added throughout the years, became a full-blown feature. But the greatest features of the flick were threethree B's, that is! As Naomi's character aims for the big time in Hollywood, she aims her not-so-big boobs, Aussie assie, and even a slim trim of quim at the camera (Picture: 1, 2, 3).
Having previously dated the late Heath Ledger for several years, Naomi settled down with fellow actor Liev Schreiber, and in July 2007, they welcomed a son, Alexander Pete. Now that Naomi's settled into motherhood, she's got five movies in the pipeline for 2008 and 2009, including, it's rumored, a remake of the classic thriller The Birds (1963). So hang onto your peckersNaomi Watts is back where she belongsin front of the camera and, hopefully, out of her clothes.