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As we await tonight’s telecast of the 23rd Annual SAG Awards bringing January to a close, let’s join succulent Scottish sex queen Alexis May in welcoming in 2017 with the full scoop on droop! (below left).

“I normally wear a 30FF bra,” the Glasgow gal grins. “I have to buy them from catalogs or online because the shops don’t carry my size. I always wear a bra during the day because it’s just too uncomfortable walkingaround without one.” Fortunately, she can unclasp in the car (above right).

Surprisingly, “Not wearing a bra at all is better for your boobs than wearing one,” according to recent studies. “Bras might actually make your breasts sag,” concludes Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon—who for the past15 years has “diligently taken a slide rule and caliper to the breasts of 320 women, ages 18 to 35, to measure any changes, particularly the relationship of the nipple to the shoulder” {which is how it used to be done, below in 1950).

Though he naturally feels “that further research is necessary,” sports scientist Rouillon remarks that “bras are a false necessity. Medically, physiologically, anatomically—breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra. The ‘lift’ allows ligaments that support breast tissue to become weak.”

So all hail the Tumblr tribute site, Saggy Boobs Lover … with its 14,000 followers!

Average amateurs from around the globe send in their photos to prove that being flaccid gets guys hard.

You can also save the ‘floppy’ on disk {ahem} from the submissions to another Tumblr testament to torpor, Young Beautiful Saggy Tits.

Surely this Tumblr twosome should whet (nurse) your appetite and quench your thirst.

“It’s not surprising if you’ve found your boobs sitting a little bit lower these days,” reassures Good To Know.com. “There are a few things you can try when it comes to feeling a little perkier.”

Czech out the Prague perker-upper posing for this two foldjug mug shot.

The tit•uation is bent even more out of proportion when it comes to Hollywood—where female stars have to constantly diet to maintain the shape the industry demands. “Skin loses its elasticity when it’s stretched,” notes one physician, “so when you’re constantly going up and down a dress size, your boobs are going down with you. Literally.”

Which is why ‘hot mess’ Lindsay Lohan has a•pair•ently become the ‘poster child’ for being a yo-yo:

Which brings us back “full circle” to the SAG Awards … and how last year’s ceremony went viral due to SusanSarandon’s downward spiral:

“If she wasn’t 69 no one would be saying anything,” defended the actress’ son Jack Robbins. “She’s right to be proud of her body.”

That goes double for us … so we’ve made the now 70-year-old Susan the first ‘loose woman’ among our Top Ten recipients of Sleuth’s first gland•ual natural SAG Awards!


While a troll watching the 2016 event tweeted: “looks like Susan Sarandon already won the SAG”…

… another posted that she was, “Tired of susan sarandon having her big fat saggy boobs in my face.”

To which the 34D Oscar winner replied: “Oh, you wish !”

The last word went to a male poster who made clear: “OK, there is a really big difference between claiming you like saggy tits and acknowledging Susan Sarandon is hot as fuck!”


“My mother taught me when I was very young that if I don’t want my boobs to hit my knees by the time I’m 30, always wear a bra, even to bed.” When her 36Cs headed to her knees anyway, Halle shrugged: “Well, when they’re real, that happens.”


“I adore Versace,” Liz declared of the designer’s dress she fell out of (above left). “His clothes are very good for me, because I’m very big on top” {36C}. More recently, the still-pert 51 year old tweeted this, in response to online boob job rumors:

Not only does the Hurley girlie share Sleuth’s June 10th birthday, but her mom’s maiden name was Amanda Titt.


Pendulous since her teens, as a starlet Helen met with director Michael {Death Wish}Winner on the advice of her first agent, Maggie Parker. “She has very large bosoms, you see,” Maggie told Michael, “and the bosoms are sagging and she refuses to wear a bra. Could you please advise her to do so?” Recalled the director: “Her bosoms were indeed enormous {38C} and, dare I say it, sagging.” And still hanging in there at 71.


A teen-oriented site called Skinny Girl describes the Sports Illustrated supermodel as having “big fat floppy boobs,” while a reader of Girls Ask Guys commented: “She’s like a saggy Spongebob with giant boobs {34DD}. “I wish I had smaller boobs every day of my life,” sighs curvy Kate. “If I could just take them off like they were clip-ons.”


The bashful Bond babe decided that the crew of Die Another Day would have to wait another day to glimpse her globes: “I mean, no one on the set even saw my breasts” while filming a love scene with 007. Normally a 32B, she rarely needs—or wears—a bra (above).

Which produced a thread on the Internet devoted to “Rosamund Pike’s Low-Hanging Breasts,” rendered pointless when she got pregnant in late 2014: “You know, I haven’t really got a waist anymore,” the 35-year-old complained. “I don’t enjoy the pregnancy bit of having big boobs, really.”


“Use a picture of me with my tits hanging out,” the busty Brit played with the paparazzi while still a starlet. “Well, they’re mine so that’s nice,” she later laughed. “They’re not fake, but they hang a bit. They’re not super perky because they’re so big. That’s always a big disappointment, I think. Like when you take your bikini top off and they go flop!”

“I have often wondered where I’d be without my boobs,” Kelly recently reflected. “They are a very prominent 30FF and in a strange way they have defined my life.” Brook is now the front woman for what she calls “the world’s most technologically advanced bra. The 21st century solution to saggy boobs.”


“Uma Thurman has extremely saggy boobs,” headlined The Superficial when the Pulp Fiction star nearly burst out of her bikini top (above right) in 2007. Gawked All Women Talk.com: “Uma was spotted in the Caribbean with very large and very saggy titties. I just can’t figure out if I’m supposed to be turned on or grossed out,” it headlined a widely-circulated and shared story:

That was after having nursed three kids … but eleven years earlier her 35½C parts lit up St. Bart’s (below)!

“I still can’t understand why my breasts became such an object of fascination,” she wondered back then.


“I was absolutely flabbergasted when Mimi Rogers, Tom Cruise’s first wife, showed her breasts in a movie,” a reader wrote in to Data Lounge in 2004. “It was shocking because her breasts droop and sag all the way to her waist and maybe beyond {hardly, above right}. I was totally shocked that she agreed to stand completely nude on top for such extended periods in this movie, The Door in the Floor.”

“Breastfeeding hasn’t been kind,” moans the mother of two {but not with Cruise}. “You know that cute little pregnant profile you see with the perky little breasts? It didn’t exist for me.” Afterwards she admitted: “I need a front-end alignment. The only thing I’ve had done is a breast reduction,” she says. “I was a 34DDD and I had them reduced to a 34D. Before I had the surgery, men were talking to my chest the entire time, and I couldn’t blame them. When I walked into a room, my breasts were always several steps ahead of me.” She ain’t lying (below).


“She’s a fat pig with saggy tits,” a Free Speech Forum fan calling himself ‘I’m Deplorable’ posted a few months back. “God she loves showing off her sloppy suckers,” agreed another. “You kids of the ’90s might remember Maitland Ward as Rachel from Boy Meets World,” wrote JoBlo.com in 2013. “Obviously the key bit of information to process are large boobs {36D}. You might also add nice butt to that list of key characteristics on Maitland, if you’re so inclined.”

We’re inclined to stop now … ass we can’t think of a more apt END to paint our picture of SAG Awards with!