By Mr. Skin
My Fellow T&Americans:
The year is 2007 and, as the World's Foremost Authority on Celebrating Nudity in Film, I greet you with a warm heart and even warmer part for this annual skinventory of both MrSkin.com and the wide, wild world of naked female starlets to whom I and the committed staff here at Skin Central have dedicated the labor of our lives. And loins.
Our high-tech Skin Laboratories remain perpetually abuzz as we keep up on the latest and greatest all-star unveilings, while also formulating innovative features to enhance your experience of them.
Mo(i)st skin-pressive, I believe, was the arrival of the Mr. Skin Video Minute. For years, radio listeners have gotten the skinny on each week's upcoming nude releases via "The Mr. Skin Minute," which debuts every Thursday on Sirius Satellite Radio's Howard Stern Show.
In 2007, our crack team of technicians took "The Mr. Skin Minute" visual, turning the weekly round-up into a sight for skin-starved eyes. A new Mr. Skin Video Minute appears at MrSkin.com every Friday, supplying you with a chance to see what's new and nude in theaters and on video. It's guaranteed to grab you by the balls . . . the eyeballs, that is!
And, well, yeah--the other kind of balls, too.
The Wheel of Skin made me loopy with pride this past year, presenting an opportunity for users to literally take a spin through the voluminous vastness of our actress database. Just like it says there on the home page: "Give it a whirl for a random girl!" You may even land on Vanna White (Picture: - ), and she'll give you something to Sajack-off to.
MrSkin.com's ongoing development and ever-evolving design schemes continue to be upgraded and improved. Watch soon for an overhaul of our actress, movie, and TV pages that will empower you to have a (free) hand in determining the actual content of our site, leaving marks beyond just those that have to get wiped off your computer monitor.
In addition, a new means of viewing our pics and clips is in the pipeline that will lay out the action in front of you as never before. Just be careful not to lay yourself out by getting over-skinthusiastic.
As mentioned earlier, MrSkin.com members will take on a more proactive part in the site starting in 2007. In fact, such skinteractivity has already started. Many of you alerted me to the fact that the site contained an excess of foreign movies and starlets, particularly of the old and obscure variety. The problem was that these alien bodies seemed to have been given priority treatment at the expense of T&A from the USA.
Well, Skin Citizens, the borders are officially being patrolled . . . hard!
While the goal of MrSkin.com continues to be the chronicling and critique of every nude scene ever filmed by anyone anywhere, our progress will no longer tilt toward the ancient and unheard-of from overseas. So now instead of decades-past-due Mexican bedroom farces and/or one-shot European nobodies, my Skin Skouts will overwhelmingly sniff out domestic products and homeland hotties for your consumption.
After all, bods bless America.
Beyond the realm of MrSkin.com, my favorite Tinseltown gossip outpost-- CelebNewsWire.com --underwent its own better-than-Beverly-Hills-style makeover. Those stellar snoops dish the poop better than ever in their souped-up new package.
The skinspirational sexploitation archaeologists at Severin Films and their associates at the Private Screening Collection brought forth a bountiful bevy of softcore classics on DVD last year.
Severin Films sought Mr. Skin's "Seal of Skin-proval," and with tantalizing titles such as Lady Libertine (Picture: - ) and Black Venus (Picture: - ), I could barely wait to whip it out and slap it down on their top-quality discs.
My Chicago neighbors over at The House That Hef Built invited me to write an online celebrity nudity column for them, and you can read the results every week over at Playboy.com. Now you really can claim you go there for the articles--because they're packed with nude pictures!
Now, for a moment, let us take our eyes away from whatever actress's anatomy happens to be presently hypnotizing us and gaze onward to the future.
But, geez, will you get a gander at her. . . .
Okay. Two years ago, Mr. Skin's Skincyclopedia: The A to Z Guide to Finding Your Favorite Actresses Naked stormed bookstores, injecting raw lust and top-notch skinformation into the a(n)nals of world literature.
Presently in the works is my much skin-ticipated follow-up: Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide: The 501 Best Movies for Sex & Nudity on DVD. More will be revealed as the publication date approaches, but suffice to say that Leonard Maltin never produced a film reference book from this particular point-of-view, nor did Roger Ebert--and he wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls! (Picture: - )
The Skintastic Video Guide will be your ultimate go-to resource when it comes to the three B's on DVD. Start hanging around looking really anxious for its arrival at your local Borders or Barnes & Noble next autumn.
On the big screen, Black Snake Moan looms with a promise of Christina Ricci (Picture: ) revealing more than she ever has before, while Samuel L. Jackson keeps her chained up in a cabin. As a finger-snapping fan of the former Wednesday Addams, all I can say is that I can't wait to see her nice Things.
Lindsay Lohan skinfamously flashed her lower hairlessness to the paparazzi in 2006, and it's made me ponder--long and hard--as to whether she might have been preparing for her role in the upcoming thriller I Know Who Killed Me. Lindsay plays a stripper in the flick, so here's hoping we get to see her Mean Girl-parts.
These heavenly bodies, and others, promise to add to our present staggering figures of more than 13,500 actresses in over 20,000 movies and 5,000 TV shows, for a mind-boggling--and lap-lengthening--pic and clip total that comes in at more than 160,000.
My Skin Skouts are scouring the globe for complete skinfo on these and other upcoming dispatches. This is what we do at MrSkin.com. This is who we are.
And it is my privilege--me, Mr. Skin himself--to lead the fight in laying Hollywood bare.
Join me, won't you?
Let's just not sit too close to each other. . . .
Skincerely,
Mr. Skin
January 2007
Skin Central, USA
My Fellow T&Americans:
The year is 2007 and, as the World's Foremost Authority on Celebrating Nudity in Film, I greet you with a warm heart and even warmer part for this annual skinventory of both MrSkin.com and the wide, wild world of naked female starlets to whom I and the committed staff here at Skin Central have dedicated the labor of our lives. And loins.
Our high-tech Skin Laboratories remain perpetually abuzz as we keep up on the latest and greatest all-star unveilings, while also formulating innovative features to enhance your experience of them.
Mo(i)st skin-pressive, I believe, was the arrival of the Mr. Skin Video Minute. For years, radio listeners have gotten the skinny on each week's upcoming nude releases via "The Mr. Skin Minute," which debuts every Thursday on Sirius Satellite Radio's Howard Stern Show.
In 2007, our crack team of technicians took "The Mr. Skin Minute" visual, turning the weekly round-up into a sight for skin-starved eyes. A new Mr. Skin Video Minute appears at MrSkin.com every Friday, supplying you with a chance to see what's new and nude in theaters and on video. It's guaranteed to grab you by the balls . . . the eyeballs, that is!
And, well, yeah--the other kind of balls, too.
The Wheel of Skin made me loopy with pride this past year, presenting an opportunity for users to literally take a spin through the voluminous vastness of our actress database. Just like it says there on the home page: "Give it a whirl for a random girl!" You may even land on Vanna White (Picture: - ), and she'll give you something to Sajack-off to.
MrSkin.com's ongoing development and ever-evolving design schemes continue to be upgraded and improved. Watch soon for an overhaul of our actress, movie, and TV pages that will empower you to have a (free) hand in determining the actual content of our site, leaving marks beyond just those that have to get wiped off your computer monitor.
In addition, a new means of viewing our pics and clips is in the pipeline that will lay out the action in front of you as never before. Just be careful not to lay yourself out by getting over-skinthusiastic.
As mentioned earlier, MrSkin.com members will take on a more proactive part in the site starting in 2007. In fact, such skinteractivity has already started. Many of you alerted me to the fact that the site contained an excess of foreign movies and starlets, particularly of the old and obscure variety. The problem was that these alien bodies seemed to have been given priority treatment at the expense of T&A from the USA.
Well, Skin Citizens, the borders are officially being patrolled . . . hard!
While the goal of MrSkin.com continues to be the chronicling and critique of every nude scene ever filmed by anyone anywhere, our progress will no longer tilt toward the ancient and unheard-of from overseas. So now instead of decades-past-due Mexican bedroom farces and/or one-shot European nobodies, my Skin Skouts will overwhelmingly sniff out domestic products and homeland hotties for your consumption.
After all, bods bless America.
Beyond the realm of MrSkin.com, my favorite Tinseltown gossip outpost-- CelebNewsWire.com --underwent its own better-than-Beverly-Hills-style makeover. Those stellar snoops dish the poop better than ever in their souped-up new package.
The skinspirational sexploitation archaeologists at Severin Films and their associates at the Private Screening Collection brought forth a bountiful bevy of softcore classics on DVD last year.
Severin Films sought Mr. Skin's "Seal of Skin-proval," and with tantalizing titles such as Lady Libertine (Picture: - ) and Black Venus (Picture: - ), I could barely wait to whip it out and slap it down on their top-quality discs.
My Chicago neighbors over at The House That Hef Built invited me to write an online celebrity nudity column for them, and you can read the results every week over at Playboy.com. Now you really can claim you go there for the articles--because they're packed with nude pictures!
Now, for a moment, let us take our eyes away from whatever actress's anatomy happens to be presently hypnotizing us and gaze onward to the future.
But, geez, will you get a gander at her. . . .
Okay. Two years ago, Mr. Skin's Skincyclopedia: The A to Z Guide to Finding Your Favorite Actresses Naked stormed bookstores, injecting raw lust and top-notch skinformation into the a(n)nals of world literature.
Presently in the works is my much skin-ticipated follow-up: Mr. Skin's Skintastic Video Guide: The 501 Best Movies for Sex & Nudity on DVD. More will be revealed as the publication date approaches, but suffice to say that Leonard Maltin never produced a film reference book from this particular point-of-view, nor did Roger Ebert--and he wrote Beyond the Valley of the Dolls! (Picture: - )
The Skintastic Video Guide will be your ultimate go-to resource when it comes to the three B's on DVD. Start hanging around looking really anxious for its arrival at your local Borders or Barnes & Noble next autumn.
On the big screen, Black Snake Moan looms with a promise of Christina Ricci (Picture: ) revealing more than she ever has before, while Samuel L. Jackson keeps her chained up in a cabin. As a finger-snapping fan of the former Wednesday Addams, all I can say is that I can't wait to see her nice Things.
Lindsay Lohan skinfamously flashed her lower hairlessness to the paparazzi in 2006, and it's made me ponder--long and hard--as to whether she might have been preparing for her role in the upcoming thriller I Know Who Killed Me. Lindsay plays a stripper in the flick, so here's hoping we get to see her Mean Girl-parts.
These heavenly bodies, and others, promise to add to our present staggering figures of more than 13,500 actresses in over 20,000 movies and 5,000 TV shows, for a mind-boggling--and lap-lengthening--pic and clip total that comes in at more than 160,000.
My Skin Skouts are scouring the globe for complete skinfo on these and other upcoming dispatches. This is what we do at MrSkin.com. This is who we are.
And it is my privilege--me, Mr. Skin himself--to lead the fight in laying Hollywood bare.
Join me, won't you?
Let's just not sit too close to each other. . . .
Skincerely,
Mr. Skin
January 2007
Skin Central, USA
|
CelebNewsWire.com Severin-Films.com PrivateScreeningCollection.com Playboy.com Vanna White Christina Ricci Lindsay Lohan |
Lady Libertine Black Venus Beyond the Valley of the Dolls Black Snake Moan |
