We’ve got the real skinny

No one is more anxious than Mr. Skin for a hot young actress like vampire-loving Kristen Stewart naked and showing off her suck-ulent body on the big screen.

But on the other hand, no one knows better than Mr. Skin the bitter disappointment of a promised nude scene that never comes.

So here’s the real deal about Kristen in the drama Welcome to the Rileys, which premiered yesterday at Sundance.

The LA Times is running the salacious headline, “Kristen Stewart bares all in 'Rileys,'” but our skin scouts at Sundance have a different story to report.

Kristen’s own muddled description of her role doesn’t help matters:

“I’m not ‘playing a stripper,’” she informed audiences before the film’s screening. “It’s really not a stripper movie at all. It sort of just opens your eyes about people that don’t have options. I know I’m speaking really vaguely about it.”

Here are the facts:

Kristen does play a stripper and seems to show off her naked ass at the 33-minute mark.

Butand this is a bigger “but” than Kristen’swe may be looking at the thong that has crept so far up her new moon as to give the illusion of nudity.

Check out this timeline assembled in the Skin Labs.

(0:33) As Kristen Stewart tries to entice James Gandolfini with a blowjob her bed, her dress is hiked up and it looks, indeed, that we are seeing her bare ass. There is not a hint of fabric in sight. But hold on.

(0:35) Gandolfini tries to cover up Stewart sleeping in bed the next morning. It looks as if we get another brief ass cheek shot when she moves after he grabs the blanket.

(0:40) Kristen Stewart finally wakes up in bed and as she turns her front to us we can see that she is wearing skimpy panties - so it looks as if she is wearing thong underwear.

For the latest developments on Kristen and all the other celebrity nudity of the festival season, become a fan of Mr. Skin on Facebook.