You'd never think country music would have you fiddling with yourself. But that's before top-heavy pop tartlet Jessica Simpson turned her back on her pop music roots and embraced country.
On Saturday night, Simpson made her very first appearance at the legendary Grand Ole Opry, and it was the greatest show of a gorgeous blonde with ten gallon ta-tas since the last time Dolly Parton performed there.
Everyone who wasn't in the Opry audience will wish they were in Dixie when they see juicy Jess jiggling it up in a scorching, low-cut black dress. Several times during her song, she had to almost pause and reach a hand in to stuff her snockers back in.
Though not everyone was pleased with Jessica's choice of stagewear. According to People, some stuffy country fans sniffed at her shirt suckers:
Audience members, it seemed, couldn't believe her costume choice. "I think she should have put some clothes on," one viewer said. While another one responded to how she liked Simpson's performance with: "I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] and she was dressed appropriately."
Sorry, folks, but we'd rather leave the hoop skirts and gingham pinafores to the old folks. Viva la Jessica and the new country and breastern!
