No Haliee Steinfield In A Bikini, No Boating

I have never much craved a life on the open sea. I don’t know if it’s that I would miss the people who live on land, or the possibility of hitting an iceberg, or the fact that I would likely not be on the same boat as Haliee Steinfield, but I’ve never really been much into the "pirate’s life for me" rigamarole.

Having watched many a reality show about people who live and work on boats, I know what a hard life it can be. Sure, I may not be in the best shape and therefore probably should never apply to any of those coveted crab/tuna/lobster fishing boat gigs, but also the lack of Haliee Steinfield is a real turn off. What is one supposed to do on a boat in all of their down time if Haliee Steinfield isn’t sitting on the front of the boat in a pink and white bikini with the wind blowing in her hair? Do you just look out at the water? That’s kind of boring. Wouldn’t you rather look at Haliee Steinfield in a bikini?

I know there are some people out there who are just drawn to water and good for all of you. As for me, no Haliee Steinfield in a bikini, no going on boats. We all have to draw the line somewhere.