By Alix Lakehurst
This past April I, Alix Lakehurst, was named Tromette of the Month. This placed me in an elite company of previous monthly Tromette honorees, as well as the women of Troma Films themselves-the original, immortal Tromettes who ignite the silver screen with searing star power and fresh, funky eroticism as unique as Troma itself.
So now let us pay Skinnerific and Tromatastic tribute, in alphabetical order, to the women upon whose naked bodies of work New York City's most independent film powerhouse was formed.
TROMETTE:Catherine Bach (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLE:Crazed (1978)
THE SKINNY: Yes, Daisy Duke busts out her moonshine jugs in the weird, wicked lesbian semi-thriller Crazed, a.k.a. Nicole, a.k.a. The Widow's Revenge. The character of Nicole herself is played by French dish Leslie Caron, who's still ravishing here at age forty-seven. She's a bisexual manipulator who understandably sets her sights on the set of Hazzard County's most famous future female resident. Talk about double vision! Catherine bares her huge, buoyant Bachs twice-once while slipping out of something comfortable, and later so that lucky Leslie can help herself to two heavenly handfuls of mammoth teat meat.
TROMETTE:Michelle Bauer (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3)
TITLE:Lust for Freedom (1987)
THE SKINNY: Under the nom-de-vavoom Pia Snow, mouth-watering Michelle Bauer graduated from the centerfold of Penthouse magazine to several hardcore celluloid classics of the theatrical porn era, including Bad Girls (1981) and Caf?lesh (1982). Reverting to her actual first name, the former Michelle Medvitz then stormed the world of B-movies, becoming one of the supreme Scream Queens of the 1980s in beloved drive-in and direct-to-video favorites such as Roller Blade (1985), Nightmare Sisters (1987), Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988), and Assault of the Party Nerds (1989). Troma's women-in-prison flick Lust for Freedom showcases Michelle enjoying a girl-girl tryst behind bars with co-skinmate Crystal Breeze (Picture: 1). Their scene will make you lust to be free of your pants.
TROMETTE:Janelle Brady (Picture: 1)
TITLE:Class of Nuke 'Em High (1986)
THE SKINNY: Teen sex comedies were all the rage in the mid-'80s, so leave it to Troma to give the milieu of Porky's (Picture: 1) (1982) and Risky Business (Picture: 1) (1983) a post-apocalyptic spin. The curriculum-challenged learning institution of the title is ruled by neon-haired punks, pierced weirdoes, and bone-cracking barbarians, while the toxic ooze of a nearby power plant mutates local yuppies into mass murderers and prompts a rash of flesh-eating monster-baby births. Amidst the chaos, Donna Nardo (Picture: 1) doffs her bikini top at a beer-powered blowout, but it's juicy Janelle Brady (Picture: 1) who earns top Tromette marks here, revealing a pair of perfectly protruding, deep pink, puffy nipples while doing a dude. Don't miss this chance to tune in (and turn on) to Janelle's Brady Bumps!
TROMETTE:Maureen Byrnes (Picture: )
TITLE:Cry Uncle! (1971)
THE SKINNY: In between directing Joe (1970) and Rocky (1976), filmmaker John D. Avildsen gave the world the whacko detective story Cry Uncle! As with his two other best-known efforts of the 1970s, Cry Uncle! documents the rise of an unlikely hero. This time it's chubby funnyman Allen Garfield as a private dick who sinks, dick-first, into a case that centers on an 8mm orgy loop, which we see in negative-and that the geniuses at Mr. Skin's Skin Laboratories reworked so that it can be viewed in a mo(i)st positive light. Leading the charge of Cry Uncle!'s numerous nudies is elegant Maureen Byrnes (Picture: ), who not only appears in the four-way porn reel but later preens about full-frontally naked while shaking Garfield down for skinformation. Here's a Tromalicious tit-bit of trivia, to boot(y): Troma president Lloyd Kaufman worked as a location scout on Rocky, and when Avildsen won the Oscar for Best Director, he included Lloyd in his thank-you speech.
TROMETTE:Terri Firmer (Picture: )
TITLE:Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)
THE SKINNY: Leave it to Troma to unleash a fourth entry in the Toxic Avenger (Picture: ) "trilogy"-and also to pack it with more sex and nudity than each of its predecessors. Citizen Toxie finds the titular New Jersey super-mutant joining forces with Sgt. Kabukiman to defend the Tromaville School for the Very Special from his evil doppelganger, the Noxious Avenger. Along the way, there's almost nonstop bare-body fun, including a bodacious appearance by B-queen Julie Strain, shaved clam courtesy of Celeste Octavia (Picture: ), and a Sapphic suck-down between naturally heavy-knockered knockout punkette Heidi Sjursen (Picture: ) and tantalizingly tiny-titted Tromelissa Saytar (Picture: 1). The ultimate one-armed salute, though, has to go to Terri Firmer, not just for her very clever in-joke moniker, but also for consistently going topless every time she turns up on screen.
TROMETTE:Stacy Haiduk (Picture: 1)
TITLE:Luther the Geek (1990)
THE SKINNY: When a sideshow geek chomps the head off a live chicken, young Luther, who's watching from the crowd, falls backward, knocks out his teeth, and becomes destined to grow up into a homicidal nutball with his own odd culinary habits. So goes the tale of Luther the Geek. Super-stacked hottie Stacy Haiduk tempts Luther's taste buds while she showers with a dude and lovingly attempts to sodomize her stall-mate with a bar of soap. You kink it up, sister!
TROMETTE:Viju Krem
TITLE:Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)
THE SKINNY: Even the most way-out purveyors of extreme entertainment at Troma blush a bit when the legendary grindhouse sex-and-gore-fest Bloodsucking Freaks comes up. As scholarly cult-movie historian Danny Peary once wrote: "If any film ought to be banned, this one deserves consideration." Nasty downtown Manhattan showman Sardu and his dwarf henchman Ralphus run the Theater of the Macabre, which depicts ghastly tortures and murders of naked young women. Unbeknownst to the audience, all the violence is real! Not only that, but the girls come in as part of a white slave ring, and they're kept nude in a basement cage where their only sustenance comes from tearing apart and eating Sardu's enemies. Luscious Viju Krem portrays a high-class ballerina kidnapped by Sardu and brainwashed into pummeling a critic to death with dance kicks. As with every other aspect of Bloodsucking Freaks, you really do have to see it to believe it.
TROMETTE:Alyce LaTourelle
TITLE:Terror Firmer (1999)
THE SKINNY: Troma's meta-splatter-comedy Terror Firmer casts Lloyd Kaufman as the director of a gross-out horror flick whose cast members are being bumped off in gross and horrific fashion. Lithe, luminous blonde Alyce LaTourelle portrays a production assistant and pops out her plucky, perfectly mounted chest muffins three separate times, two of which involve pickles. Also keep your peepers peeled for the D-cup dairy delights of reigning Troma queen Debbie Rochon.
TROMETTE:Phoebe Legere (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLES:The Toxic Avenger, Part II (1989) and Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)
THE SKINNY: The original Toxic Avenger (1985) was the one mega-smash that catapulted Troma permanently to the top of the modern exploitation heap, but, when it comes to nudity, it seems they saved the best stuff for the sequels. Case in point(s): beautiful downtown NYC performance-artist-turned-Toxie's-blind-girlfriend Phoebe Legere in both The Toxic Avenger, Part II and The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie. Daring diva Phoebe was the first to get skintimate with Tromaville's mightiest monster on screen, rendering herself forever a hero in fans' hearts-and other, even warmer parts.
TROMETTE:Andr?Pelletier (Picture: 1)
TITLE:East End Hustle (1976)
THE SKINNY: From Canada, and originally filmed in French, the ultra-'70s pimps-and-hos epic East End Hustle whips out a sleazy dollop of harder living that many folks think about when contemplating our neighbors to the north-even when considering the awesomeness of Canuck strip clubs. Andr?Pelletier electrifyingly embodies central prostitute Cindy, who suffers at the hands and glands of violent street creeps before fighting back in ferociously foxy style. Watch for a triple-chick skinny-dip, stunning cunnilingus, rough doings on a bathroom floor, and the sort of piled-up pubic fur one would expect from chill-conscious Canadian babes in the pre-razor-crotch (a.k.a. the good old) days.
TROMETTE:Debbie Rochon (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLE:Tromeo and Juliet (1996)
THE SKINNY: Debbie Rochon is the ultimate fanboy's dreamgirl. And she more than ably fulfills the lusty longings of Tromaddicted females, too, including-actually, especially-the author of this article. Impossibly beautiful, with an on-camera presence that dwarfs even most Hollywood starlets, Debbie is as smart and witty in real life as she is wild and nakedly captivating on film. Picking a second-place title for Debbie's breast performance might prove a challenge, but number one is held by her explosive lesbian bedroom bout with rocker Jane Jensen (Picture: 1) in Tromeo and Juliet. As Lloyd Kaufman once observed: "Never in my life have I heard an audience become so still and so silent-every time we screen the movie!" Pick up Tromeo and Juliet immediately to experience how true those words ring.
TROMETTE:Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith (Picture: 1)
TITLE:Video Vixens (1975)
THE SKINNY: Flaxen, doe-eyed, otherworldly Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith is the ultimate drive-in goddess. She remains, as Quentin Tarantino put it, the Marilyn Monroe (Picture: ) of '70s cheerleader flicks and an actress whose r?m?f enduring cult classics perfectly matches her one-of-a-kind talents. Alas, Rainbeaux departed this earthly realm in 2002, so check out the high-concept porno-on-network-TV farce Video Vixens for a perfect crystallization of this unique beauty's command of the screen. Resplendent by a lake and fully nude, Rainbeaux comically hawks a feminine hygiene product called "Twinkle Twat" and displays her rich, deep, naturally blonde lap 'fro at its furry finest. Whatever Rainbeaux Smith is selling, we're buying.
TROMETTE:Georgina Spelvin (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLE:I Spit on Your Corpse! (1974)
THE SKINNY:Linda Lovelace of Deep Throat (1972), Marilyn Chambers (Picture: 1) of Behind the Green Door (1972), and Georgina Spelvin of The Devil in Miss Jones (1973) comprised America's first hole-y trinity of adult-film superstars. All three actresses went on to roles in rough-and-tumble drive-in fare between hardcore parts. For Georgina, it was I Spit on Your Corpse!, which is not to be confused with I Spit on Your Grave (1978) with Camille Keaton (Picture: 1) or I Spit on Your Corpse, I Piss on Your Grave
(2001) with Emily Haack (Picture: ). Here, the former Miss Jones breaks free from a chain gang and leads a trio of very bad girls on a violent spree across the desert. There's nearly as much nudity as grains of sand in Spit's setting, and topless Georgia actually stomps the asses of four wannabe hoodlums. Hooray!
This past April I, Alix Lakehurst, was named Tromette of the Month. This placed me in an elite company of previous monthly Tromette honorees, as well as the women of Troma Films themselves-the original, immortal Tromettes who ignite the silver screen with searing star power and fresh, funky eroticism as unique as Troma itself.
So now let us pay Skinnerific and Tromatastic tribute, in alphabetical order, to the women upon whose naked bodies of work New York City's most independent film powerhouse was formed.
TROMETTE:Catherine Bach (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLE:Crazed (1978)
THE SKINNY: Yes, Daisy Duke busts out her moonshine jugs in the weird, wicked lesbian semi-thriller Crazed, a.k.a. Nicole, a.k.a. The Widow's Revenge. The character of Nicole herself is played by French dish Leslie Caron, who's still ravishing here at age forty-seven. She's a bisexual manipulator who understandably sets her sights on the set of Hazzard County's most famous future female resident. Talk about double vision! Catherine bares her huge, buoyant Bachs twice-once while slipping out of something comfortable, and later so that lucky Leslie can help herself to two heavenly handfuls of mammoth teat meat.
TROMETTE:Michelle Bauer (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3)
TITLE:Lust for Freedom (1987)
THE SKINNY: Under the nom-de-vavoom Pia Snow, mouth-watering Michelle Bauer graduated from the centerfold of Penthouse magazine to several hardcore celluloid classics of the theatrical porn era, including Bad Girls (1981) and Caf?lesh (1982). Reverting to her actual first name, the former Michelle Medvitz then stormed the world of B-movies, becoming one of the supreme Scream Queens of the 1980s in beloved drive-in and direct-to-video favorites such as Roller Blade (1985), Nightmare Sisters (1987), Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988), Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988), and Assault of the Party Nerds (1989). Troma's women-in-prison flick Lust for Freedom showcases Michelle enjoying a girl-girl tryst behind bars with co-skinmate Crystal Breeze (Picture: 1). Their scene will make you lust to be free of your pants.
TROMETTE:Janelle Brady (Picture: 1)
TITLE:Class of Nuke 'Em High (1986)
THE SKINNY: Teen sex comedies were all the rage in the mid-'80s, so leave it to Troma to give the milieu of Porky's (Picture: 1) (1982) and Risky Business (Picture: 1) (1983) a post-apocalyptic spin. The curriculum-challenged learning institution of the title is ruled by neon-haired punks, pierced weirdoes, and bone-cracking barbarians, while the toxic ooze of a nearby power plant mutates local yuppies into mass murderers and prompts a rash of flesh-eating monster-baby births. Amidst the chaos, Donna Nardo (Picture: 1) doffs her bikini top at a beer-powered blowout, but it's juicy Janelle Brady (Picture: 1) who earns top Tromette marks here, revealing a pair of perfectly protruding, deep pink, puffy nipples while doing a dude. Don't miss this chance to tune in (and turn on) to Janelle's Brady Bumps!
TROMETTE:Maureen Byrnes (Picture: )
TITLE:Cry Uncle! (1971)
THE SKINNY: In between directing Joe (1970) and Rocky (1976), filmmaker John D. Avildsen gave the world the whacko detective story Cry Uncle! As with his two other best-known efforts of the 1970s, Cry Uncle! documents the rise of an unlikely hero. This time it's chubby funnyman Allen Garfield as a private dick who sinks, dick-first, into a case that centers on an 8mm orgy loop, which we see in negative-and that the geniuses at Mr. Skin's Skin Laboratories reworked so that it can be viewed in a mo(i)st positive light. Leading the charge of Cry Uncle!'s numerous nudies is elegant Maureen Byrnes (Picture: ), who not only appears in the four-way porn reel but later preens about full-frontally naked while shaking Garfield down for skinformation. Here's a Tromalicious tit-bit of trivia, to boot(y): Troma president Lloyd Kaufman worked as a location scout on Rocky, and when Avildsen won the Oscar for Best Director, he included Lloyd in his thank-you speech.
TROMETTE:Terri Firmer (Picture: )
TITLE:Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)
THE SKINNY: Leave it to Troma to unleash a fourth entry in the Toxic Avenger (Picture: ) "trilogy"-and also to pack it with more sex and nudity than each of its predecessors. Citizen Toxie finds the titular New Jersey super-mutant joining forces with Sgt. Kabukiman to defend the Tromaville School for the Very Special from his evil doppelganger, the Noxious Avenger. Along the way, there's almost nonstop bare-body fun, including a bodacious appearance by B-queen Julie Strain, shaved clam courtesy of Celeste Octavia (Picture: ), and a Sapphic suck-down between naturally heavy-knockered knockout punkette Heidi Sjursen (Picture: ) and tantalizingly tiny-titted Tromelissa Saytar (Picture: 1). The ultimate one-armed salute, though, has to go to Terri Firmer, not just for her very clever in-joke moniker, but also for consistently going topless every time she turns up on screen.
TROMETTE:Stacy Haiduk (Picture: 1)
TITLE:Luther the Geek (1990)
THE SKINNY: When a sideshow geek chomps the head off a live chicken, young Luther, who's watching from the crowd, falls backward, knocks out his teeth, and becomes destined to grow up into a homicidal nutball with his own odd culinary habits. So goes the tale of Luther the Geek. Super-stacked hottie Stacy Haiduk tempts Luther's taste buds while she showers with a dude and lovingly attempts to sodomize her stall-mate with a bar of soap. You kink it up, sister!
TROMETTE:Viju Krem
TITLE:Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)
THE SKINNY: Even the most way-out purveyors of extreme entertainment at Troma blush a bit when the legendary grindhouse sex-and-gore-fest Bloodsucking Freaks comes up. As scholarly cult-movie historian Danny Peary once wrote: "If any film ought to be banned, this one deserves consideration." Nasty downtown Manhattan showman Sardu and his dwarf henchman Ralphus run the Theater of the Macabre, which depicts ghastly tortures and murders of naked young women. Unbeknownst to the audience, all the violence is real! Not only that, but the girls come in as part of a white slave ring, and they're kept nude in a basement cage where their only sustenance comes from tearing apart and eating Sardu's enemies. Luscious Viju Krem portrays a high-class ballerina kidnapped by Sardu and brainwashed into pummeling a critic to death with dance kicks. As with every other aspect of Bloodsucking Freaks, you really do have to see it to believe it.
TROMETTE:Alyce LaTourelle
TITLE:Terror Firmer (1999)
THE SKINNY: Troma's meta-splatter-comedy Terror Firmer casts Lloyd Kaufman as the director of a gross-out horror flick whose cast members are being bumped off in gross and horrific fashion. Lithe, luminous blonde Alyce LaTourelle portrays a production assistant and pops out her plucky, perfectly mounted chest muffins three separate times, two of which involve pickles. Also keep your peepers peeled for the D-cup dairy delights of reigning Troma queen Debbie Rochon.
TROMETTE:Phoebe Legere (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLES:The Toxic Avenger, Part II (1989) and Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)
THE SKINNY: The original Toxic Avenger (1985) was the one mega-smash that catapulted Troma permanently to the top of the modern exploitation heap, but, when it comes to nudity, it seems they saved the best stuff for the sequels. Case in point(s): beautiful downtown NYC performance-artist-turned-Toxie's-blind-girlfriend Phoebe Legere in both The Toxic Avenger, Part II and The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation of Toxie. Daring diva Phoebe was the first to get skintimate with Tromaville's mightiest monster on screen, rendering herself forever a hero in fans' hearts-and other, even warmer parts.
TROMETTE:Andr?Pelletier (Picture: 1)
TITLE:East End Hustle (1976)
THE SKINNY: From Canada, and originally filmed in French, the ultra-'70s pimps-and-hos epic East End Hustle whips out a sleazy dollop of harder living that many folks think about when contemplating our neighbors to the north-even when considering the awesomeness of Canuck strip clubs. Andr?Pelletier electrifyingly embodies central prostitute Cindy, who suffers at the hands and glands of violent street creeps before fighting back in ferociously foxy style. Watch for a triple-chick skinny-dip, stunning cunnilingus, rough doings on a bathroom floor, and the sort of piled-up pubic fur one would expect from chill-conscious Canadian babes in the pre-razor-crotch (a.k.a. the good old) days.
TROMETTE:Debbie Rochon (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLE:Tromeo and Juliet (1996)
THE SKINNY: Debbie Rochon is the ultimate fanboy's dreamgirl. And she more than ably fulfills the lusty longings of Tromaddicted females, too, including-actually, especially-the author of this article. Impossibly beautiful, with an on-camera presence that dwarfs even most Hollywood starlets, Debbie is as smart and witty in real life as she is wild and nakedly captivating on film. Picking a second-place title for Debbie's breast performance might prove a challenge, but number one is held by her explosive lesbian bedroom bout with rocker Jane Jensen (Picture: 1) in Tromeo and Juliet. As Lloyd Kaufman once observed: "Never in my life have I heard an audience become so still and so silent-every time we screen the movie!" Pick up Tromeo and Juliet immediately to experience how true those words ring.
TROMETTE:Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith (Picture: 1)
TITLE:Video Vixens (1975)
THE SKINNY: Flaxen, doe-eyed, otherworldly Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith is the ultimate drive-in goddess. She remains, as Quentin Tarantino put it, the Marilyn Monroe (Picture: ) of '70s cheerleader flicks and an actress whose r?m?f enduring cult classics perfectly matches her one-of-a-kind talents. Alas, Rainbeaux departed this earthly realm in 2002, so check out the high-concept porno-on-network-TV farce Video Vixens for a perfect crystallization of this unique beauty's command of the screen. Resplendent by a lake and fully nude, Rainbeaux comically hawks a feminine hygiene product called "Twinkle Twat" and displays her rich, deep, naturally blonde lap 'fro at its furry finest. Whatever Rainbeaux Smith is selling, we're buying.
TROMETTE:Georgina Spelvin (Picture: 1 - 2)
TITLE:I Spit on Your Corpse! (1974)
THE SKINNY:Linda Lovelace of Deep Throat (1972), Marilyn Chambers (Picture: 1) of Behind the Green Door (1972), and Georgina Spelvin of The Devil in Miss Jones (1973) comprised America's first hole-y trinity of adult-film superstars. All three actresses went on to roles in rough-and-tumble drive-in fare between hardcore parts. For Georgina, it was I Spit on Your Corpse!, which is not to be confused with I Spit on Your Grave (1978) with Camille Keaton (Picture: 1) or I Spit on Your Corpse, I Piss on Your Grave
(2001) with Emily Haack (Picture: ). Here, the former Miss Jones breaks free from a chain gang and leads a trio of very bad girls on a violent spree across the desert. There's nearly as much nudity as grains of sand in Spit's setting, and topless Georgia actually stomps the asses of four wannabe hoodlums. Hooray!
