We've got a regular sideshow of sexy freaks nude this week on DVD and Blu-ray, featuring mermaids covered by barely-there hair in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011), Spanish starlet Carolina Bang banging creepy clowns in The Last Circus (2010), and the most exotic creatures of them all, high school cheerleaders, in The Hollywood Knights (1980). Plus, scare yourself stiff with Lucio Fulci's blood n' boobs classics Zombie (1979) and The House by the Cemetery (1981), nude on Blu-ray. CU Next Tuesday, Skin fans for all the newest, nudest releases on DVD and Blu-ray!
Also nude on DVD and Blu-ray, Christine Smith bares chest apples for teacher Cameron Diaz in Bad Teacher (2011):
Everybody’s favorite pirate, Johnny Depp, goes searching for the Fountain of Youth in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011). As the film begins, Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) has been called before King George II (Richard Griffiths), who wants him to guide an expedition for the Fountain of Youth led by his old rival, Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). Jack refuses the king and escapes, but is soon waylaid by his ex-lover Angelica (Penelope Cruz), who makes him to board the ship of the infamous Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Turns out Blackbeard is also looking for the Fountain, and wants Jack as his guide. Penelope gets 
sexy when Johnny rips open her blouse to reveal her incomparable cleavage 25 minutes in, and sensual sirens Gemma Ward and Astrid Berges-Frisbey will shiver your timbers when they get this close to revealing rackage as the hair covering their breasts moves around from 1 hour, 2 minutes in to 1 hour, 35 minutes in. That’ll make you jack your sparrow!
The Last Circus(2010) is a completely insane movie- in the best way possible. Think clowns hacking people up with machetes and mowing them down with machine guns. The Last Circus is the story of a chubby, depressive clown named Sad Clown (Carlos Arece) and a drunk, manic clown named Happy Clown (Antonio de la Torre) competing for the affections of seductive acrobat Natalia (Carolina Bang). Sad Clown and Happy Clown embark on an ever-intensifying Grand Guginol of jealousy attempting to destroy each other and win Natalia’s heart. Though she only bares brief butt in one indescribably weird scene, it goes without saying that Ms. Bang is highly bangable. 
The Hollywood Knights (1980) is a classic teen-sex comedy. The premise is that Tubby's Drive-In is closing on Halloween night, 1965, the same night that a bunch of pledges are trying to get into a cool club, The Hollywood Knights. The Knights drop their pledges off stark naked outside of town, and the newbies must wheel some auto tires back to Tubby's by closing (via Watts!), and must get a local DJ to dedicate his last number of the night to Tubby's and the Knights. Along with the hijinks, Dawn Clark and Kim Hopkins are topless and, to balance things out, Michele Drake is bottomless when she twirls in her cheerleader's skirt but forgets her panties! These Hollywood Knights will have your javelin jousting in your pants!
They're dead, but they are still on the run, and though they have no possible need for nourishment of any kind, their appetites flare unabated. They are a plague and a blight upon the community. What are decent folk supposed to do when confronted by the specter of the homeless Zombie (1979)? According to the scenario of director Lucio Fulci, it is pointless to reason with the voracious, flesh-eating freaks. Spitting upon them is also of little effect, as is kicking them, stabbing them or putting a bullet through where their wormy hearts should be. Resist any temptation to interpret this course of action as a metaphor for how we 
of the modern urban society should deal with that dead-looking guy standing next to your car with a squeegee in one hand and his other palm out for a donation.
Italian splatter maestro Lucio Fulci is at his chunk-blowing best in the supernatural gore parade The House by the Cemetery (1981). The first mistake a young family makes is moving into the titular New England abode, which was previously occupied by diabolical Dr. Freudstein, a mad medico with a penchant for human experimentation. The brood's second mistake is not immediately moving out once the doctor's lethal legacy spills out from beyond the grave, but their foolishness is a horror fan's gain as the proceedings spill out into plasma-spattered insanity. Daniela Doria, as the topless First Victim, will get your blood pumping in a much more pleasurable fashion.
Cameron Diaz is the tit-ular educator in Bad Teacher (2011). In this raunchy comedy from director Jake Kasdan (Bad Santa), Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) is a junior high school teacher who dreams of finding a rich sugar daddy and never having to see a pre-teen again. Elizabeth thinks she’s found her meal ticket in idealistic (and independently wealthy) new hire Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake), but then she discovers that Scott is a breast man and, well, her bee stings aren’t enough to score a ride on his gravy train. Cameron Diaz teaches a master class in sex appeal,when she wets herself down at a school car wash, but Christine Smith will really take you back to school when she bares her big, shiny chest apples for teacher.
