She stirs up the flashing lights of the paparazzi every time she sets foot on the pavement, she has no need for a camera, her life is told like a picture book from birthday parties to car crashes and every inopportune moment in between. Why do people flock to her like a moth to the flame? Because Lindsay Lohan- is the hottest fucking bitch on the planet. That's right I said it, she's a fascinating, sexy, sassy, bitch and I love her for it.
It started back when my foxy redheaded roommate put Mean Girls on for the first time. I fought it in the beginning, but shortly after seeing LiLo work her mojo the bitch in me said, you're gonna love this girl, and indeed I did. She was playing the outcast, but in the real world she was just beginning to become the uber-star that would grace the faces of Hollywood tabloids every week for years to follow.
She was only 18 when Mean Girls came out and immediately her fan base tripled as she was no longer just watched by young teens. Becoming legal in Hollywood is a hell of a ride from what I understand and she was already on her way. She started young, and even then her body was light speeds ahead of her, curves just appeared overnight, and they were marvelous. She was captivating the eyes of the public and it would only be a matter of time before she had a complete hold over everyone.
Her dating life was quite active starting with Aaron Cater at the early age of 16 (not her best move) but it was her relationships with Wilmer Valderama and Harry Morton that would catch the limelight. She was a busy girl, flaunting her sex appeal all over Hollywood, but it was around her stints in rehab that she had sexy times with some random dudes only to come out sans the dicks and a new love for pussy. My hopes could live and dreams continue as Lindsay had suddenly switched teams.
I became suspicious when reports had come out that she had moved in with Courtenay Semel, daughter of a CEO Yahoo! Tycoon. She had fallen on hard times, for a second I thought she may be pulling a sugar mama move to get some cash to keep up with her intense spending habits, but they broke up and she began spending an inordinate amount of time with DJ Samantha Ronson.
Let the extatic behavior begin- It's been confirmed that she's going lezzbo. Just when I thought that I couldn't love her any more, I find myself more attracted to her than ever. She's that much more open, sensual, and adventurous which in turn makes her live up to the reputation of the lusty sex goddess that she plays so well.
She's been through a lot in a few short years but what's interesting is that it seems like I've been watching her for more than a decade. Legal debacles, family troubles, sex tapes, paparazzi beatdowns, rehab, eating disorders- she's 22, has an acting career, a music career and clothing line of her famous leggings- Paris can make all the fire-crotch comments she wants I know she would switch places with Lindsay in a second.
In Georgia Rule she played the slut, trying to get a hard on out of every male on the cast, but she was hot in it. There was again a lot of controversy about her being late on set due to massive partying and costing the production thousands of dollars but it was the public scolding letter from the producer circulating the internet that really made her think.
Until she flashed the world not once but twice to let us all know that she was not only a fire crotch, but that she was not to be tamed.
While she's never been nude in a movie, she has gotten down and dirty in I Know Who Killed Me where she plays a stripper (she also plays a college student, but that's not important) and it's feverishly hot. She even took classes for the role, (I'm still looking for video footage on the internet of practice sessions because I've watched the clips on Mr. Skin about a million times) so be sure to check out the extended strip scene on the DVD.
February 2008, there's a buzz in the office, there's nude photos on the interweb of my lusty leggy love doing a remake of Marilyn Monroe's The Last Sitting. Wowwowwow. There's a frenzy going on but for all the wrong reasons- why are people UPSET that there was nudity? That was a gorgeous and tasteful spread paying homage to her Idol, not to mention unbelievably sexy to the point that I want it framed in my house.
She's just too much to handle. No joke, if you start talking to me about her I just lose my ability to put a sentence together. She's an enigma wrapped in a riddle with sultry eyes and a banging figure. If I could, I would do things to her that should only be kept behind closed doors (and never tell you what happened, just let your imagination run wild). It's a borderline obsession I have with her, I just find her so incredibly interesting I want to study her like a ninth grade anatomy project.
It's too soon for some people to say she's timeless, but I know that with time we will. She's a classic natural beauty. I may prefer her natural red, dark does me just as well (I would fuck her no matter what color her hair is) but she doesn't need platinum blond hair to be the next Marilyn- she's already got an insanely big fan base. Websites, fan sites, impersonator networking pages, between the rag mags, TV shows, the print shoots and TMZ her face is everywhere.
Seriously, I love her, I think she's great. I couldn't imagine my life being a story for everyone to read, but she does it with as much grace as she can muster and I think she stumbles through it beautifully. I don't know if I'll ever get to meet her so in the meantime I'll just have to enjoy some lovely pictures of her in my favorite shirt.
So you guys have been writing to me with your thoughts, but now I've got an assignment for you. Tell me what you think about Lindsay, do you and I share the same love for her? Or would you like to go tit for tit in the matter and duke it out with me?
Leave a comment or email me at: TheBigO@MrSkin.com
Many thanks to Chris Roo for his amazing photography, for more of his work please visit: www.chrisroo.com
