Last night MTV blocked out nearly three hours of air time to devote to the season finale of A Double Shot at Love. I can't even hear that term today without my stomach churning.
And yes, I realize that it's not the best idea to turn a themed program into a drinking game, but I did it anyway. When I said "I'm going to take a double shot every time someone says 'Double Shot' tonight", I hadn't even thought about the actual schedule...
First off was A Double Shot at Love: The Happy Hour Reunion.
I love that the Producers just thought it would be hilarious to put all the jaded past contestants on a stage together and see what they do. Talk about putting a cat in a bathtub- first we had butch lesbian Nicky who tried to beat up pretentious homophobic republican prick James for saying that she wanted to be a man and that being a lesbian is "a behavior" (his ass would have been kicked all over that stage had there not been so many people there to rip her off of him).
Then there was the sensitive cry baby Nick who tried to snag 15 seconds of fame by performing his terrible love song he wrote during the show, but thankfully Mr. Meathead Scottie (donned with a chinchilla jacket I'm sure P.E.T.A. is not happy about along with two shot glasses and the MTV logo buzzed into his head) walked up and destroyed his keyboard before I wanted to pour acid into my ears.
But the real show stealer would have to be Rosie's brand new lips! I can't believe she thought that those Brittany Murphy lookalikes would go unnoticed (think BIG)
The girls came out and grilled everyone who was an ass on the show. They looked sexy as always- I couldn't wait to see who picked who...
Good Lord. Many shots later... It's time for the finale! The girls looked so hot; skimpy short white dresses and matching heels- like they were about to get married- Ikki style. I really thought I knew how this was going to go down- Rikki would end up with Trevor the surfer boy boat captain and Vikki would happily start a life with bartending MILF Rebekah...
Apparently I was DEAD wrong (I blame the amount of shots consumed).
At first I thought that because Rikki was the first to admit that she liked girls that she would end up with Rebekah, but Rebekah said she knew that Vikki was the hot piece of ass for her... So when decision time came, Rikki confessed it wasn't happening because she was in love with Trevor. Rebekah didn't seem too affected by Rikki's rejection and ran to be with Vikki- only to be rejected again! WTF? I've been duped into watching this for months to see some hot rug munchers ride off into the sunset- and now the lonely lezzie has been sent back to her vibrator. How sad.
Both Ikki's had fallen for Trevor so he had to choose. If I was the producer I would have made Rebekah be the last to choose and pick both girls naked in a kiddie pool of Jello. Now that would have been a show. He chose Vikki- and Rikki was pissed. Hmm... I guess someone isn't used to not getting her way...
All was revealed on the after show which they accurately named A Double Shot at Love: One Shot Too Many. It was pretty irrelevant at that point (not to mention foggy) to know why they chose who they chose- I was so busy throwing whatever I could find at the TV because they both picked a guy I wasn't paying much attention. There was Chicago style pizza to be ordered and some silky pajamas to slip into. All the best to Rikki- something tells me she'll be back next season to get the job done.
Here's my first shot at a Video Blog- leave me a comment and let me know what you think!
XX~ The Big O
