Our Staff Picks column takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version of Staff Picks has a decidedly skintillating angle, as we suss out which films from a particular subgenre are the best to find great nudity. This week let's cover one a skinteresting genre: Canadian films!
Why Canada, eh? Well, buddy, our neighbors to the north sure know how to make a film. Even though it's cold most of the year up in The North, they don't mind taking off their clothes for us on camera. Whether it is a Toronto-made film, an indigenous adventure, or a Quebecois French female - Canadians provide a diverse array of nudity for us to watch! And I love to watch.
Here are my Staff Picks for Canadian Films:
Last Night
What would you do if this was your last night on Earth? That's the question central to the plot of 1998's Last Night. Don McKellar wrote, directed, and stars in this film in which a bunch of different people has six hours until the clock strikes midnight and the predicted end of the Earth comes.
Karen Glave and Tracy Wright do the right thing by both going topless. Based on the very hot nude scenes featuring the topless and tasty Karen Glave, I'd love to spend my Last Night with her!
Goon
We can't compile a list of Canadian films without including some hockey. Sean William Scott plays his family's black sheep. They are all lawyers, but he is an aspiring hockey player who gets asked to be a "goon" for a local team. A goon is someone who joins a team to fight off opponents in order to protect smaller teammates. Sean is so excited about his new position, but his family does not approve.
As he finds himself through hockey, he also hangs out with hotties like Brandy Jaques and Veronica Malinowski. Both of those hotties with amazing bodies show serious TA.
Love on the Side
Are you in the mood for a quirky comedy that stars a beautiful blonde woman? Then this film is for you! This coming-of-age flick, also titled Deluxe Combo Platter, stars a waitress with low self-esteem who has a crush on a guy that she really wants to ask out. We don't know why she has such low esteem! Marla Sokoloff plays the leading lady and she is a smokeshow.
When a new customer arrives, played by Monika Schnarre, the guy that our leading lady crushes on becomes obsessed with her. But Monika's character has a crush on Marla! Uh oh! This hilarious love triangle goes in every direction, as do Monika's bare breasts when she seductively takes off her shirt.
Love Sex and Eating the Bones
David Sutherland directed this sexplicit comedy that stars beautiful Black women who look amazing on the big screen. The plot follows a man who seems to be obsessed with porn. He struggles with relationships, but when he meets the perfect woman he tries to engage in sexual activity WITH her. However, getting off to a real woman is harder than getting off to a woman on the screen.
It really shouldn't be when your perfect woman is played by Marlyne Barrett who bares side boob in her horny sex scene in which she is on top. This melanated maven will give you a bone-r!
Jesus of Montreal
This French Canadian film is a bonafide classic. This religious satire follows a theater group that puts on a weird version of a Passion play in which the characters live their roles in real life. Denys Arcand directed this film that is both funny and enlightening. It is a genuinely delightful film to watch and I can say that because I recently rewatched it. Speaking of enlightening, you will feel a religious experience when you see Catherine Wilkening take off her top and show off her round mounds.
Below Her Mouth
Finally, we need to talk about the Canadian Skin classic: Below Her Mouth. This girl-on-girl flick stars Erika Linder and Natalie Krill has two women who begin a passionate affair after htye spend a weekend together. One of them is a high-powered fashion editor and the other is a roofer who works with her hands all day. They are from different worlds, but their lesbian lust for one another brings them together.
This movie is HOT. Like not just "hot for Canada", but really super hot. There are just so many smoking hot shots of these topless babes and the other babes that they get busy with. What's not to love about cute Canadian lesbians with their cans out?
There are many memorable, sexy scenes in this movie including Natalie Krill's bathtub masturbation scene. Why don't you warm yourself up with these Canadian cuties making sweet sapphic love to each other?
