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Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of February 10, 2009.

BLINDNESS (2008)
STUDIO: Miramax
NUDES: Julianne Moore (right breast) (Picture-), Alice Braga (breasts, bush, butt) (Picture-1), Yoshino Kimura (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Based on a novel by Portuguese writer Jos Saramago, the sci-fi drama Blindness (2008) tells the story of an epidemic of contagious blindness that has caused the government to confine those affected in quarantine wards. Quickly, the social fabric unfurls and the one inmate who has a gun (Gael Garca Bernal) declares himself king and begins to extort the rest for valuables and sex. Unknown to everyone, one woman (Julianne Moore) in the ward still has her sight and uses it to lead some of the inmates out of quarantine only to find that the blindness has already spread to the rest of the world. You’ll be able to test the theory of whether or not it makes you go blind when you peep at Julianne Moore, Alice Braga, and Yoshino Kimura in a giggly shower threesome.

CLOSING THE RING (2007)
STUDIO: The Weinstein Company
NUDE: Mischa Barton (breasts, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: World-renowned filmmaker Richard Attenborough (Gandhi, A Bridge Too Far) crafts a tale of a love that spans the ages in Closing the Ring (2007). In 1991 Ireland, Martin McCann (Jimmy Reilly) discovers the wreckage of an American World War II plane and, in it, a gold ring, which Martin becomes determined to return to its owner. Through a series of flashbacks, then, we learn that the ring belonged to fighter pilot Teddy (Stephen Arnell), who quietly wed beautiful Ethel (Mischa Barton) the night before his fatal mission. Martin makes his way to Minnesota to return the gold band to the war widow (played in middle-age by Shirley MacLaine), thus bringing closure to a romance cut short by tragedy. And if you think that's sweet, get ready for some awesome teats and seat meat. Mouth-watering Mischa Barton brings an openness to her role as young Ethel way beyond even her teensiest bikini scenes on The O.C., or even her best paparazzi-shot nip slips. The slinky, elegant, British-born beauty bares her delectably tiny heinie and impossibly pert B-cup boobalas to make Closing the Ring a major happening when it comes to twenty-first-century movie nude scenes and an all-out treat for your thing.


FRIDAY THE 13TH: UNCUT
STUDIO: Paramount
NUDE: Jeanine Taylor (left breast, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: With Friday the 13th (1980) Hollywood finally responded to the growing success of indie slasher movies with a big-budget version that would launch a thousand bloody machetes. The movie introduced gore-obsessed audiences to a new anti-hero in Jason, as well as his tragic origins at Camp Crystal Lake. If Jaws (1975) made you scared to go into the ocean, well, this made you terrified to get it on with your teenage hottie, as nookie inevitably led to the carnal couple getting eviscerated. While Jason and the gang didn't make it safe to go skinny dipping, at least they insured that scene would be included in every summer movie. Who says Friday the 13th is unlucky?


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981)
STUDIO: Paramount
NUDE: Kirsten Baker (FFN, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: For those who’ve forgotten, Mrs. Voorhees was the original killer in the first Friday the 13th (1980), avenging the long-ago drowning of her young son at Camp Crystal Lake. Her decapitated head makes a cameo appearance at the start of Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981), though, as a bunch of horny teens and counselors show up at a camp next door to Crystal Lake. Too bad that this is the film where they learn that Jason didn’t really drown 30 years before. He’s been living in the woods and is really pissed off about seeing his mom lose her head. Oh, and he’s inherited Mom’s dislike for horny teenagers.


FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 3-D (1982)
STUDIO: Paramount
NUDE: Tracie Savage (breasts) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Some boohoo Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982), saying the series started to show signs of age at this point. And while the plot of this is pretty thin, just a bunch of horny teenagers partying down on the farm where Jason gets to slowly cut them up with his trademark machete, this is also the first time Jason dons his iconic hockey mask. That should place this feature in the hall of fame right there. But there’s more, that being Tracie Savage, the future TV newscaster, in her sole skin onscreen. She takes on the obligatory shower scene, which must have been a pants pleaser in its original 3-D release. Audiences are sure to have a 3-D release of there own watching this, as in three pints of dick-juice.


MAN FOR EMMANUELLE (1969)
STUDIO: Televista
NUDE: Erika Blanc (breasts, butt) (Picture-1)
THE SKINNY: Man for Emmanuelle (1969) was directed by Cesare Canevari, who helmed the infamous Gestapo's Last Orgy (1977) and is also noted for this, the first Emmanuelle movie. Though it doesn’t have much in common with its followers starring Sylvia Kristel, Krista Allen, and Laura Gemser, plotwise the nudity does make an arousing connection. Here Erika Blanc shows off her blankety-blanks.


MIRACLE AT ST. ANNA (2008)
STUDIO: Touchstone
NUDES: Valentina Cervi (breasts), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Director Spike Lee’s Miracle at St. Anna (2008) chronicles the World War II adventures of the 92nd Infantry Division, an all-African-America squadron that gets cornered in Tuscany by Nazis in 1944. Miracle is inspired by the factual Sant'Anna di Stazzema massacre, in which the Waffen-SS sought to crush Italian insurrection. The movie’s real miracle, though, is the sight of Roman goddess Valentina Cervi topless. She’ll give you a Battle of the Bulge that can be beat.

THE ROMANCE OF ASTREE AND CELADON (2007)
STUDIO: Koch Lorber
NUDES: Stphanie Crayencour (right breast, left breast), Ccile Cassel (left breast), Vronique Reymond (left breast)
THE SKINNY: The timeless love story The Romance of Astree and Celadon (2007) takes place in the age of Druids, when humble shepherd Celadon (Andy Gillet) pursues fair lady Astree (Stphanie Crayencour). After the beauty rejects our hero, he jumps into a river and is presumed to have drowned. Alas, in this magic realm, Celadon is rescued by nymphs, but he is cursed to never let the object of his passion lay eyes on him again. Will Astree break the curse? Watch and find out, and also to see some exquisite Euro beauties in the bewitching buff.