Imagine an impossibly gorgeous former Miss America, all golden hair and innocent smile.

Imagine an exotic, erotic Armenian princess with curves so dangerous a professional race car driver would quiver with fear.

Imagine the two of them going head to head in a screaming, gasping catfight. Hair and limbs flying, the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

Dreams can become reality, proven by blonde Playmate Shanna Moakler and ravishingly rear-ended Kim Kardashian. The two got into it at a barbecue thrown by Carmen Electra over the weekend.

Shanna told site The Dirty that:

"I was at this bbq and I saw what I thought was a donkey posing on the stairs but much to my surprise, it was Kim Kardashian. No, wait, it was a donkey! She’s soooo fucking fat! She’s 5'2" and she’s like 140. She was wearing a sarong to cover her huge big ass! I like a nice ass but hers is not a nice ass!

"I walked by her and just told her that she was lucky to be standing next to Carmen. I was trying to respect [Carmen's] party but then the east coast came out of me and I threw my drink on [Kim]. I decided I was tired of being the moral police! I went to grab my things and go when my girlfriend asked me where I was going. I just told her I absolutely didn’t want to be there if that whore was there. Then, Reggie [Bush, Kim's boyfriend] comes up and says “YO! Be careful what you say!” And I was like “Your girls a whore!” and he said it again - “Be careful what you say.” and I just told him again - “Your girl’s a whore!”

It seems that Shanna is alleging that Kim sent Travis Barker, Shanna's tattooed ex-husband, inappropriate emails. Shanna tells TMZ:

"Quite some time ago I received emails from her mobile device of VERY inappropriate conduct between herself and my husband at the time, that were NOT at all 'friendly' and very much 'romantically' inclined. I spoke to Kim Kardashian, asking her to please stay away from my family as we are trying to heal after a very trying time, she agreed and but failed to do so.

"If I had known Ms. Kardashian was going to be at the BBQ in Malibu I wouldn't have gone. One day women will realize when you destroy families there will be angry and hurt ex-wives to deal with. I still have these emails and I won't release them as not to embarrass my ex and my family any further."

Kim issued her own statement on the matter, saying:

"I was a model for Famous Stars and Straps clothing line owned by Travis Barker. I ONLY had a professional relationship with Travis, in which he hired me to represent his brand for one season, which was a year and a half ago.

"Reggie and I are in a normal healthy relationship. We trust each other blindly. When I got upset about things being said that just aren't true, he has helped me to see how silly this whole situation is.

"I have nothing against the parties involved and don't know why they feel the way they do. But what I do know is that there are so many more important, positive things to focus on right now, and that's what I will continue to do: look forward, not behind."

Which is ironic, since when Kim is around, all we want to do is look behind!

(Kim Kardashian topless in Portuguese magazine pic courtesy of Egotastic!)