Kirsten Baker Nude

Count Rack Assesses the Reboot

Welcome back, my friends to Castle Rackula. This week, I’ll be reviewing the new Friday the 13th remake, paying special attention (as always) to the female nudity therein.

Since this is a “reboot” and not a remake, I’ll forgive the inclusion of the adult Jason Voorhees (who, as everyone knows, didn’t appear until Friday the 13th Part 2) and his hockey mask (which came in Friday the 13th Part III, recently released in 3D special edition DVD).

Fans will also recognize that this is only the fourth film in the franchise to be released on an actual Friday the 13th, following Friday the 13th Part III on August 13 1982, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood on May 13 1988, and Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday on August 13, 1993.

Read the full review after the bite.

Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of February 10, 2009.

RSVP? No T&A?

Welcome back to Castle Rackula. I hope everyone enjoyed my look back at Cat People last week, because this is the week to momentarily abandon nostalgia and turn to the here and now.

Today The Uninvited opens up in theaters and I’m sad to say it contains no nudity.

A remake of the acclaimed 2003 South Korean fright flick Janghwa, Hongryeon, The Uninvited not only has no nudity in itself, but boasts a cast of never-nude actresses to boot!

It’s like a stake through the heart, this skinlessness!

Skingy as they are, many of the movie’s stars are tangentially connected to some great nudity. My hope is that pointing out all the opportunities to show skin these act-chests have blown (but not really) over the years will shame them into flashing flesh in the future.

Read more after the bite.

Tits the season to turn (on) to Satan.

Follow the McMestophelian trail of McBeardo as he conjures up a stroker’s dozen of the most scorchingly occult-themed flesh-flicks to ever destroy pants and reap souls.

Get the supernatural skinny on diabolical diversions that include Nude for Satan, Satan's Cheerleaders, Satan's Schools for Sluts, and To the Devil, a Daughter.

Also read a bunch of berserk boob-butt-and-bush hoo-hah along the way, bolstered by more Nekromistress t-shirt shots. Is this the week she gets nude? Click the pic to find out.

Hello my friends, and welcome back to Castle Rackula. I’ve been in a reflective mood lately. The economic meltdown that currently surrounds us has put me in mind of the movie Wall Street and the Black Monday crash of 1987.

Of course, the market doesn’t concern me, since all my assets are in the form of Aztec gold stored in a vault deep below the castle and guarded by an army of my thralls. As long as the blood banks don’t fail, I’ll be fine.

But back to the topic at hand. The 80s were a special for this vampire. I was in my early eight hundred and twenties and looking for a good time. And when I wasn’t haunting Studio 54 or waiting outside the health clinics to bite the girls who came out clean, I was at the movies!

Here are a few of my favorites from the era of breakdancing and Mr. Belvedere.

Read more after the bite.

The first and only Friday the 13th of 2008 is now upon us and millions of people around the world are cowering under their beds terrified of being run over by buses, struck by lightning, or shot out of the sky during a transatlantic flight. In order to ease these superstitious fears and still remain in the spirit of the day, I've decided to list the best nude scenes from the first four installments of that greatest of all horror franchises, the Friday the 13th movies.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Before Jason Voorhees rose from his watery grave to wreak havoc in Camp Crystal Lake his mother (Betsy Palmer) was on chopping duty, taking revenge for her young son's accidentally drowning by gruesomely murdering a group of counselors trying to re-open the camp. About 36 minutes in to the movie one such counselor, Marcie Cunningham (Jeannine Taylor) displays her bun-and-mams before a porking by a pre-Footloose Kevin Bacon. Politely waiting for the nudity to play itself out, Mrs. Voorhees dispatches of them both soon after.

Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Featuring the first appearance of Jason as the killer (but still without the hockey mask) and the best nudity of the entire franchise, Part Two is a worthy sequel indeed. At the 45-minute mark, the unspeakably hot Norwegian beauty Kirsten Baker strips for a skinny-dip and gives us a good long look at her fronties, fanny, and furburger.

Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)

Part Three is notable both for its use of 3D in the theatrical version and because it introduces the iconic hockey mask that gave Jason his recognizable look. Intercut with the extremely memorable scene of a guy walking on his hands followed by a through-the-floor shot of Jason bringing down his machete into the poor bastard's upturned package is the extremely MAM-orable scene of future Channel 4 News Co-anchor Tracie Savage taking a shower and showing off her perky rackage.

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

The fourth installment (and far from "the final chapter") features the talents of The Honker from Yonkers, The Last American Virgin star Lawrence Monoson, and all-around freak show/genius Crispin Glover. It also includes an epic skinny-dipping scene about 27 minutes in with twins Camilla and Carey More and Judie Aronson.

Albuquerque-born filmmaker Scott Phillips has been a B-movie fan since birth. His passion led him to running a video store before hightailing it to Hollywood, where he wrote the script for the beloved cult martial-arts favorite Drive (1997).