Welcome back, my friends, to Castle Rackula and thanks to all of you who are following on Twitter. Sorry I don’t update more often, but these Internet tricks are hard for a 1200-year-old dog like me to learn.
The Christmas Season marches on, even her in Mamsylvania, and as promised, this week’s column will be dedicated to the sequels of the classic Santa slasher flick Silent Night, Deadly Night.
So put on a yule log. heat up some eggnog and prepare to jingle some bells.
Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2 (1986)
As you will remember from last week, the first film ends with the implication that the killer’s little brother Ricky is going to be the one to fill his murderous shoes.
And so he is.
After being raised by an adoptive Jewish family (and thereby spared Christmas) Ricky begins killing in his teens when he sees a guy in a red jeep with a woman.
Billy runs the guy over with his own jeep and thus begins a career as a serial killer whose bloodlust takes over at the sight of Santa-red.
The nudity in part two is enough to fill a stocking or three.
In archive footage from the first movie, we get another chance to see the bare boobs of Tara Buckman and Linnea Quigley. That’s the kind of re-gifting I like.
Fresh skin is provided by Joanna White, a veteran of the Hammer House of Horror TV series, who bares her left boob, and by busty blonde Elizabeth Kaitan.
Elizabeth, who had already been naked in Savage Dawn and Violated, would go on to show off her tits, ass, and holly bush in horror and softcore classics like Necromancer,Petticoat Planet, Virtual Encounters, and the much derided Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood.
The next nude Navidad came three years later with
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)
In part three, Laura (Samantha Scully) is sent to a hospital to monitor her dreams. It turns out that her nasty nightmares are being caused by the presence of the coma victim next door, none other than Ricky himself, played this time by Bill Moseley.
After the hospital releases Laura, the sightless siren leaves with her brother Chris (Eric Da Re) and his gorgeous girlfriend Jerri (Laura Harring), with heavenly hopes of spending an enchanted Christmas with their grandma in a small town near Los Angeles.
But Laura’s departure brings Ricky back to consciousness, just in time for the holidays and the murderous Santa picks up where he left, butchering victims right and left.
The third installment of the franchise is noteworthy because it features the first nudity ever done by former Miss USA and future Mulholland Dr. star Laura Harring.
Laura Herring is, for my money, one of the most beautiful pieces of neck on the planet. And although nothing is as hot as her lesbo love scene with Naomi Watts, the shot of her bare breasted in the hot tub sure had me making eggnog!
Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990)
Directed by Brian Yuzna and starring the great Clint Howard (a regular at my Christmas parties) as an apparently entirely different character named Ricky, Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 (called Bugs in the UK) departs from the Santa slasher story.
Like Halloween III: Season of the Witch and Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, part four features an entirely new killer: a murderous cult devoted to the Egyptian god Isis (don’t get me started on those people, I had enough of them back in Ancient Rome) who wants to get its hands on plucky cub reporter Kim (Neith Hunter).
You’ll want to get your hands on Ms Hunter too, specifically on her knockers, which she bares proudly.
How I’d love to sink my teeth into Neith!
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)
Part five was written and by Yuzna and has Clint reprising his role. And once again, the Santa slasher is absent.
The plot instead revolves around a group of deadly toys programmed by the evil Joe Petto (Mickey Rooney) to kill the kids who get them for Christmas.
There’s no nudity, but I’ll watch anything with Mickey Rooney. Will you?
I hope you enjoyed this continuation of my Horny Holiday Horrors series. Come back next week, when I will be wearing my Santa Claus suit.
And bring your girlfriend. She can sit on my lap and we’ll talk about whatever pops up.
