By Tivoli Fox
'Tits days before Christmas, and all through the house the only creature that's stirring is your pesky pants mouse. Spice up your silent nights and make the holidays more fleshtive with a heaping helping of eye candy. Santa himself can't help but do a little voyeuristic Christmas stalking and stuff himself with samplings from the delightful dears who reign supreme on the skinematic scene.
We at MrSkin.com wish you a merry X-mas and a humpy New Year.
DASHER
Anna Kournikova
HAS SHOWN: Holiday Ham
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: Few sights can compare in terms of hypnotic appeal to witnessing the world's top titillating tennis tart being telecast on the boob tube. Not only is Anna always dashingly dressed in the skimpiest of tennis whites, she makes our nights a whole lot warmer by occasionally baring her sometimes panty-less derriere while banging the ball two and fro on the court.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: Christmas came early for on-looking lucky ducks in Miami when Anna bared her scorching hot body while sunning herself on the beach in 2002. For those who didn't catch her ornamental offerings, Anna's fitness video Basic Elements: My Complete Fitness Guide (2001) (Picture: ) should be at the top of your list for Santa.
DANCER
Elizabeth Berkley
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: Santa and Mr. Skin both have a soft spot for packages, especially when the contents are equally fleshtive when unwrapped. In the quintessential dance extravaganza that is Showgirls (1995) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5), Liz plays plastic-fantastic stripper Nomi Malone. A glittering vision of gorgeosity, she's sure to make you moan. Memories of Elizabeth's sweetly naked two-stepping forever put a twinkle in our eyes and a tingle in our flies.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: Ms. Berkley's bulbs never shine more brightly than in Showgirls when she gives a tinsel-flashing lap dance while bopping atop Kyle MacLachlan's pencil, adding in a thrust of her bare burning bush to boot. It's a guaranteed dance in your pants. You'll be rarin' to put your one horse in Elizabeth's open sleigh.
PRANCER
Milla Jovovich
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: Ukrainian sex kitten Milla first got everyone's attention while prancing down the catwalk as a frequently flashing, high-fashion supermodel. More than just an ornament, Ms. Jovovich is also an accomplished actress. Milla offers tastes of her richly sweet mini fruitcakes, juicy caboosey, and/or buttery finger pie in He Got Game (1998), Resident Evil (2002) (Picture: 1 - 2), and No Good Deed (2002) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3). With such a veritable cornucopia of skinematic vehicles laying bare Milla's Christmas holly, it truly 'tis the season to be jolly.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: Those in need of cheers will be glad to know that Milla volunteers the entirety of her merry and bright body in No Good Deed. That's a good deed in Mr. Skin's opinion.
VIXEN
Bettie Page
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: In the 1950s, a time when snowy-topped temptresses were all the rage, raven-haired pinup Bettie proved that dark leather-clad tits and tat are where it's at. The original super vixen, Bettie made us all wettie in a sparkling array of sexploitation gems such as Striporama (1953), Varietease (1954) (Picture: - ), and Teaserama (1955) (Picture: - ). Her frisky fineness has never failed to sleigh us, even in the nearly over-sexposed Bettiephanalia seen dominating better bookstores and boutiques today.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: Ms. Page hardened candy canes across the country when she graced the cover of Playboy, poinsettias a-pointing, in January of 1955. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-ohh-la-la!
COMET
Anna Nicole Smith
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: Heavenly body Anna Nicole skyrocketed to fortune and fame in the early '90s, partly because of Playboy and the late billionaire J. Howard Marshall, and hugely thanks to her celestial-sized Christmas cookies and plump planetoid posterior. Even though she recently dropped some poundage from her tree, she is still a gigantically blooming beauty. Anna is a whole lot of woman with a whole lot of skinematic offerings that are more intoxicatingly dingle tingling than eggnog. Warm your form by her fire tonight by watching any of her reindear games for Playboy, such as Playboy Video Centerfold: Anna Nicole Smith (1993), Portrait of a Pin-Up Queen: Anna Nicole Smith (1998), or Playmates: Bustin' Out (2000).
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: No X-mas would be complete without a heaping helping of Anna's ample snow balls. Mr. Skin is particularly fond of the wet lesbian scrub-a-dub from Anna Nicole Smith: Her Fantasy Revealed (1998) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3).
CUPID
Brigitte Bardot
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: After French beauty Brigitte bared her barefooted bod in And God Created Woman (1957) (Picture: 1), her perfectly shaped pointy pair pierced the hard-ons of horny guys, and soon men and women created babies. Mary, mother and Joseph! There's no denying that this perfect Parisian dish is truly skinspirational; those full-flavored fruit cakes, that handful of holiday ham, those gorgeous gams as tasty as any turkey leg. To bask in the glow that is Ms. Bardot, check out The Night Heaven Fell (1958) (Picture: 1 - 2), Love is My Profession (1958), or Les Femmes (1969). For a Joyeux Noel, any of these sweet treats will do.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: To sleep in heavenly peace, try bunking down with Brigitte in Jean-Luc Godard's Contempt (1963) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3). Nobody could be contemptuous of the opening scene, which lingers on her angelic back altar of love.
MA 'DONNER
Madonna
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: During this high holy season, who could forget the beloved Madonna (or Ma 'donner as our friends in Jersey like to call this skinematic deity). Never one to disappoint Santa, Madge offers her warm milk sacks and coochie cookie in films such as Dangerous Game (1993) and Body of Evidence (1993)--and it's evident that this material girl's body looks like a million bucks. She'll deck your balls with her beauty in her booby biopic Madonna: Truth or Dare (1991) and her kinky pornographic book Sex. Thank you, Madonna, for all the many masturbatory blessings we have received in your name.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: Ring in the new year watching Maddy play with her catty. You'll become a believer when she strokes her burning bush in Body of Evidence (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4).
BLITZIN'
Tara Reid
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: Visions of sugar plums dance around in Mr. Skin's head when he thinks of Tara's innocent tease in kiddy films such as American Pie (1999) and Josie and the Pussycats (2001). Recently, sweetly teated Tara's reputation has gone a bit sour, and boy are we sucking it all up like a girly-juice-infused gobstopper. Tara is notorious for being a late-night holy terror and boozing and schmoozing with gal pal Paris Hilton, and when randy Reid is bad, she's better (and probably wetter!). Before attending a party for P. Diddy, Miss Blitzin' posed for paparazzi completely oblivious to the fact that her strappy gown had fallen down, leaving her left booby bulb brightly exposed. Merry chestmas to all, and to all a good sight!
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: No terror in the sack, Tara took home the coveted title of Best Debut Nude Scene during The 1st Annual Anatomy Awards here at Skin Central for her uplifting role in Body Shots (1999) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4). Straddling her boy toy in the sack, her white-hot hooties and hinder provide the perfect kindling to fuel your winter Yule log.
RUDOLPH
Nicole Kidman
HAS SHOWN: Christmas Cookies, Holiday Ham, Mistletoe
WHY WE WANT TO DECK HER HALLS: What Christmas would be complete without a fearlessly fine red-headed dear like Nicole leading the pack? (Sure she's been a blonde, a brunette, and even gone black, but we hear she's really red all over . . . at least where it counts.) Nicole is on Santa's naughty list, and that's just the way he likes it. Never one to be a saint, Nikki has gotten tricky in over twelve dicky-stiffening skinematic stints. For a whiff of Ms. Kidman's tasty cinnamon loaves, linger lovingly over her hearth in Dead Calm (1989), Malice (1993), and Eyes Wide Shut (1999) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4). Be sure to keep your flies wide open for anything that should rise along the way.
BREAST REINDEAR GAMES: It's jingle bells and blue balls all around when Nicole flashes her jazzy ruby fruit in Billy Bathgate (1991) (Picture: 1 - 2). Nikki with your pubes so bright, won't you ride Mr. Skin's sleigh tonight?
