By Mr. Skin
Last week, Mr. Skin unveiled his picks for 2007's 26 best DVDs for sex and nudity. They were as follows:
Top of the Pop-Offs:
1. Caligula: 3-Disc Imperial Edition (1979)
2. Black Emmanuelle's Box and Black Emanulle's Box Volume 2
3. American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007)
4. Desert Hearts: 2-Disc Collector's Edition (1985)
5. Halloween: Unrated Director's Cut (2007)
6. The Happy Hooker Trilogy
7. .45 (2006)
8. Beer League (2006)
9. Alice in Wonderland (1976)
10. The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning: Unrated (2007)
11. Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982)
12. Anita: Diary of a Nymphomaniac (1973)
13. The Exterminating Angels (2006)
14. Species: The Awakening (2007)
15. Justine de Sade (1972)
16. Malicious (1995)
17. National Lampoon's TV: The Movie (2006)
18. They're Playing with Fire (1984)
19. Buried Alive (2007)
20. Roller Booty (2007)
21. Sex & Consequences (2006)
22. Teachers (1984)
23. The Erotic Adventures of the Three Musketeers (1992)
24. Silip: Daughters of Eve (1985)
25. Pervert! (2005)
Mo(i)st Honorable Mention:
Knocked Up (2007)
And now, in alphabetical order, the breast of the rest . . .
Amateur Porn Star Killer (2007)
Studio:Cinema Epoch
Nudes:Michiko Jimenez (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Vicky Rodriguez (breasts), uncredited actresses
The Skinny: Creepy horror meets spellbinding skin in an impressively off-putting-and on-turning-fright feature from director Shane Ryan.
Babes in Kongland (2002)
Studio:Koch
Nudes:Candy Doll (FFN), Addie Morton (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Julie Strain (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Jenny Wallace (breasts), uncredited actresses
The Skinny:Babes in Kongland sheds light on a dimension inhabited only by lesbians and the great ape who sexually services them as needed, until such bliss is disrupted by the presence of a man. Watch the fur fly as Candy Doll, Addie Morton, Julie Strain, and Jenny Wallace let their body parts fly. You'll go ape.
Bare Naked Survivor (2001)
Studio:Indican Pictures
Nudes: Tess Broussard (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Aria Giovanni (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Shauna O'Brien (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Julie K. Smith (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Aimee Sweet (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Alexus Winston (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: The tropical granddaddy of modern reality TV gets a naked send-up here with some of the best bodies in early-21st-century softcore competing to outplay, outlast, and out-tit.
La Belle Captive (1983)
Studio:Koch
Nudes:Gabrielle Lazure (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: French art meets delicious Parisian body parts in La Belle Captive, as delectable dish Gabrielle Lazure brings raw sex to this surrealistic feast.
Bikini Bloodbath (2006)
Studio:MVD Entertainment
Nudes:Anna-Karin Eskilsson (breasts), Leah Ford (breasts) (Picture: 1), Katie Gil (breasts), Olja Hrustic (breasts) (Picture: 1), Sheri Lynn (butt), Natasha Nielsen (breasts) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Swimsuits meet the sanguine in Bikini Bloodbath, a witty B-movie blowout starring numerous naked D-cups.
The Chambermaid (2004)
Studio:MTI Video
Nude:Fiona Horsey (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Deceptively demure Fiona Horsey takes on the title part in The Chambermaid as a hotel cleaner who comes off meek and soft-spoken, until her bed-turning inner eroticism erupts roaringly to life.
Cloistered Nun: Runa's Confession (1976)
Studio:Kino Video
Nudes:Runa Takamura (breasts, butt, bush) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
The Skinny: From Japan comes this tawdry saga of Sister Runa (Runa Takamura), who checks into a convent after a failed romance, only to be assaulted by all manner of unholy sexuality. Have mercy!
Cougar Club (2007)
Studio:Universal
Nudes:Nicole Rayburn (breasts) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
The Skinny: The phenomenon of older women prowling for boytoy bedmates is joyously explored in Cougar Club, supported by ample anatomical exposures, among which is Nicole Rayburn's knockout rack.
Creature from the Hillbilly Lagoon (2005)
Studio:Pop Cinema
Nudes:Heather Christine (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Tanith Fiedler (breasts, butt) (Picture: ), Leigh Radziwon (breasts)
The Skinny: As this Creature's poster proclaims of its slimy protagonist, "It turns rednecks into deadnecks!" The female talent on display will turn you anything but dead, and it won't be your neck where you feel it most. Parts of you will become red, though.
Dracula's Dirty Daughter (2000)
Studio:Camp Motion Pictures
Nudes:Kellie Brown (breasts) (Picture: 1), Alysabeth Clements (breasts), Gentle Fritz (breasts) (Picture: ), Diane Skiba (breasts) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Gothy-monikered Alysabeth Clements (Picture: ) plays the Gothier still Vamparina in Dracula's Dirty Daughter. She plays an undead bedazzler who hungers in equal parts for flesh and blood-preferably female.
The Erotic Diary of Misty Mundae (2004)
Studio:Seduction Cinema
Nudes:Anoushka (FFN, butt) (Picture: ), Darian Caine (FFN, butt), A.J. Khan (FFN, butt), Ruby LaRocca (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Misty Mundae (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Julian Wells (FFN, butt)
The Skinny:The Erotic Diary of Misty Mundae follows Ms. Misty as she explores the things that get her itchy, twitchy, and put the cherry on her sundae, including softcore bondage with A.J. Khan, mutual manual muff buffing with Darian Caine, lesbo lickery, tongue-tip flickery, pillow fights, motel-room nights, feather torture, and hotness galore.
The Eroticist (1972)
Studio:Severin Films
Nudes:Laura Antonelli (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Eva Czemerys (FFN) (Picture: 1), Anita Strindberg (right breast)
The Skinny: Italian ultra-sexbomb Laura Antonelli portrays a nun in The Eroticist. Once you get a load of her sermon-on-the-mounds, you'll want to make a habit of it!
Gettin' It (2006)
Studio:Anchor Bay Entertainment
Nudes:Jessica Canseco (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Estephania LeBaron (right breast, butt), Tara Rice (breasts) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: When a mix-up in condom sizes indicates that a nerdy teen virgin (Patrick Censoplano) is packing King-Kong-proportioned ween meat, the local ladies beat a path for one very particular piece of his action. That's how he ends up Getting' It.
The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I. (2007)
Studio: Infinity
Nudes:Lacie Heart (FFN, butt), Rebecca Love (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Gianna Lynn (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Beverly Lynne (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Nicole Sheridan (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: In The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I., ace schlockmeister Fred Olen Ray gets a lot of girls out of their bikinis.
House on Hooter Hill (2007)
Studio:Camp Motion Pictures
Nudes:Friday (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Barbie Bennett (FFN, butt), Jules de Wilde (FFN, butt), Glori-Anne Gilbert (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Taylor Wane (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Dani Woodward (FFN, butt), uncredited actresses
The Skinny:House on Hooter Hill: stacked softcore babes go in, their clothes don't come back out.
Joysticks (1983)
Studio:Genius Products
Nudes:Erin Halligan (FFN, butt), Kym Malin (breasts) (Picture: 1), Kim G. Michel (breasts) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
The Skinny:Joysticks is a truly joyful product of the Teen Sex '80s, depicting dirty doings at a video arcade in uproarious over-the-top and off-with-their-tops fashion. All hail King Vidiot!
Justine Juliette (1975)
Studio:Xploited Cinema
Nudes:Marie Fors?a (FFN, butt) (Picture:1), Brigitte Maier (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Anne Bie Warburg (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny:Justine Juliette updates a Marquis de Sade tale into a comedic sextravaganza. First off (and to get off), busty blonde Marie Fors?b appears in three fully nude skin scenes, but there's more. German cutie Brigitte Maier makes her nude debut and skin swansong all in one in a fairly explicit sex scene that leaves no body part untouched. And Danish treat Anne Bie Warburg spends almost all her screen time naked. The producers obviously saved a fortune on wardrobe.
Kottentail
Studio:Brain Damage Films
Nudes:Patricia Bellemore (breasts) (Picture: 1), Heather Darling (breasts) (Picture: 1), Noel Francomano (breasts), Zoe Hunter (left breast)
The Skinny: A genetic experiment causes an unassuming rural farmer to change into a towering, homicidal rabbit in the grisly creature feature Kottentail. Patricia Bellemore, Heather Darling, Noel Francomano, and Zoe Hunter will give you a warm and fuzzy feeling as they flee their rabbit pursuer in silky underwear that has a hard time staying on. Nice bunnies!
Lady Chatterley (2006)
Studio:Kino Video
Nude:Marina Hands (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Author D.H. Lawrence's ribald tale of a privileged noblewoman's erotic awakening has been filmed many times. This is one that gets the tail right. Marina Hands will get yours working.
Laure (1976)
Studio:Severin Films
Nudes:Emmanuelle Arsan (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Annie Belle (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Michele Starck (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Lita Vasquez (breasts)
The Skinny: Directed by the author of the original Emmanuelle, Laure casts crew-cutted platinum blonde Annie Belle as its sensually omnivorous adventurer every bit on par with the other sexploitation superheroines of her day.
Linda Lovelace for President (1975)
Studio: Telavista
Nudes:Linda Lovelace (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny:Deep Throat sensation Linda Lovelace campaigns for the Sexuctive Office of the United States in a madcap folly that also features The Monkees' Micky Dolenz (not naked).
Malabimba: The Malicious Whore (1979)
Studio:Severin Films
Nudes:Mariangela Giordano (FFN), Katell Laennec (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Patrizia Webley (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: In her one and only film role, luscious Katell Laennec embodies Malabimba: The Malicious Whore. With nonstop nudity, grandfather seduction, and even a scene where she exposes her nude body to a nun while making out with a mirror, perhaps Katell felt she could never top this mind-and-lap-blowing debut. Oh, well. She could still try!
Meatballs 4 (1992)
Studio:MGM
Nudes:Neriah Davis (left breast), Kristi Ducati (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Paige French (breasts), Lauren Hays (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Miche Straube (breasts, butt), Cristy Thom (breasts)
The Skinny: Summer-camp counselor Corey Feldman water skis all over Meatballs 4. It's a sequel in name only, and while the original may have boasted Bill Murray, this one teems with bikini-free ta-tas.
Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978)
Studio:Blue Underground
Nudes:Ursula Andress (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Luigina Rocchi (breasts) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: After more than a decade in the public domain, the gross-out jungle adventure Mountain of the Cannibal God gets the proper video treatment from Blue Underground. The mountains of Ursula Andress never looked more appetizing.
Murder-Set-Pieces (2004)
Studio:LionsGate
Nudes:Valerie Baber (breasts, bush) (Picture: 1), LeAnn Clinton (breasts), Christina Holsinger (breasts) (Picture: 1), Crissy Moran (breasts), Lauren Palac (breasts, butt), Renee Sloan (breasts, bush) (Picture: 1), Jenna Velanni (breasts, butt), uncredited actresses
The Skinny: The ultra-sicko slaughter party Murder-Set-Pieces may be drenched in unrelenting cruelty and gruesome carnage, but at least the female cast gets to look beautiful naked before all those horrible things happen.
Night Junkies (2007)
Studio:Allumination Filmworks
Nudes:Lauren Adams (breasts) (Picture: 1), Katia Winter (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Vampire mythology gets an even more sexual spin in the UK creeper Night Junkies. Katia Winter plays a cheeky bird seduced into a clandestine club of British bloodsuckers . . . and out of her knickers.
Night of the Sorcerers (1974)
Studio:BCI
Nudes:Kali Hansa (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Mar?Kosti (right nipslip), B?ara Rey (breasts) (Picture: 1), Loli Tovar (breasts) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Vampires are seductive by nature, and given the alluring talent on hand (and gland) in the bloodsucker saga Night of the Sorcerers, eternal life seems like a most a-peel-ing proposition.
Peach Obsession: Erika (2007)
Studio:Peach
Nudes:Jean Bardot (FFN, butt), Erika Jordan (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Jamie Lynn (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Kayla Paige (FFN, butt)
The Skinny:Peach Obsession: Erika poses a serious question: Are you ready for a new obsession? The protuberant preoccupation of the title is, in fact, awe-inspiring Erika Jordan. One taste of her and, indeed, you will be famished for more. This DVD, then, is a full-on feast, serving up Erika and a banquet of her most beautiful friends in the buff.
Poolside Heat (2006)
Studio:Peach
Nudes:Mackenzie (FFN, butt), Zora (FFN, butt), Carly Banks (FFN, butt), Melissa Jacobs (FFN, butt), Charlie Laine (FFN, butt), Crissy Moran (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Cindy Pucci (FFN, butt), Jessica Saint (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Linda Tran (FFN, butt), Lexxi Tyler (FFN, butt)
The Skinny: The Peach girls storm the screen once more in Poolside Heat-and this time they're all wet! The bikinis are tantalizing here, but not for long, as the sun beats down upon our array of shiny sexbombs and prompts them to lose their swimsuits pronto, then dive deep for some fun-both alone and in all manner of carnal combinations. Poolside Heat will float more than just your boat!
Pretty Cool Too (2007)
Studio:MTI Video
Nudes:Jennifer Day (breasts), Angela Dodson (breasts) (Picture: 1), Joy Giovanni (butt), Julia Lehman (breasts) (Picture: 1), Tabitha Taylor (breasts) (Picture: ), uncredited actresses
The Skinny: A magic cell phone provides a teenage horndog with complete mind-control power over sexy women. Does that sound promising? Of course. In fact, it's Pretty Cool Too!
Private Moments (2005)
Studio:Maverick Entertainment
Nudes:Emily Clarke (breasts) (Picture: 1), Catalina Guirado (breasts), Judith Shekoni (left breast) (Picture: 1), Aruna Shields (right breast), Natasja Vermeer (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny:Private Moments follows a friendly female foursome who have a little too much hooch at a birthday party and start sharing stories of their private parts' favorite moments, from snogging on a subway to fogging up a phone booth to sexcapades of the very, very public sort.
Satan's Baby Doll (1982)
Studio:Severin Films
Nudes:Jacqueline Dupr?a (breasts) (Picture:1), Mariangela Giordano (FFN, butt), Marina Hedman (FFN) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: A serial killer raised in a castle full of crazies gets spooked by the ghost of his ex-wife in the Italian shocker Satan's Baby Doll. What's more, the dead M.I.L.F. (Marina Hedman) possesses the body of her delicious daughter (Jacqueline Dupr?b) and bangs her way to vengeance from beyond the grave.
Sex Hex (2007)
Studio:Secret Key
Nudes: Darian Caine (FFN, butt), Sabrina Faire (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Molly Heartbreaker (FFN, butt), A.J. Khan (FFN, butt), Jackie Stevens (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Sativa Verte (FFN, butt)
The Skinny: A slinky new secretary (Sabrina Faire), shows up at a local multinational corporation and puts a Sex Hex on the place, turning all the lady raiders into lady-loving masturbators. Lez get it on!
The Sexploiters (1965)
Studio:Retro Seduction Cinema
Nudes:Gigi Darlene (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Jackie Miller (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: History "buffs" will get a kick (in the pants) out of this vintage skin-flick rarity done up right on DVD by the masters over at Retro Seduction Cinema.
The Sexual Story of O (1984)
Studio:Severin Films
Nudes:Carmen Carri?a (breasts),Mari Carmen Nieto (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Alicia Principe (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: What's more sexual than The Story of O? Why, The Sexual Story of O, of course!
Silent Night, Deadly Night: Uncut Uncensored (1984)
Studio:Anchor Bay Entertainment
Nudes:Tara Buckman (breasts) (Picture: 1), Toni Nero (breasts), Linnea Quigley (breasts) (Picture: 1), Barbara Stafford (left breast)
The Skinny: Many remember Silent Night, Deadly Night as the definitive killer Santa Claus experience of the 1980s. Many forget just how much hot nudity it contains to get your bells jingling. This "Uncut Uncensored" edition provides a potent reminder.
Sindrome (2004)
Studio:Ariztical Entertainment
Nudes:Adriana Davidova (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: Spain's Sindrome chronicles Javier Albal?b as a dying man who aims to make his ex (Adriana Davidova) appreciate life more before he departs. Part of this, clearly, involves learning to love her own naked body (just like you will).
Sombre (1998)
Studio:Koch
Nudes:Coralie, Elina L?sohn (breasts), G?ldine Voillat (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
The Skinny:Sombre is a scandalous art/horror hybrid from France in which a mad murderer (Marc Barb?b) videotapes himself squeezing the windpipes of naked female victims. Remember it's only a movie when you start choking your chicken.
The Still Life (2007)
Studio:Polychrome Pictures
Nudes:Angel Boris (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Holly Fields (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1), Kyrie Maezumi (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny: A gallery's worth of masterpieces-of-ass bring museum-quality nudity to the art-world drama The Still Life in a series of displays that are guaranteed to move you.
Surf School (2006)
Studio:LionsGate
Nudes:Aubrie Lemon (breasts) (Picture: 1), Rikke Juhl Moegelhoej (breasts) (Picture: 1), Annika Svedman (breasts) (Picture: 1)
The Skinny:Surf School is a sand, sun, and skin blast in the grand glandular tradition of '70s and '80s drive-in flicks. It will kow your bunga.
Topless Tapioca Wrestling (2007)
Studio:Secret Key
Nudes:Veronica Blue (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Darian Caine (breasts) (Picture: 1), Jen Ewen (breasts), Molly Heartbreaker (breasts), Spicy J (breasts), Julie Simone (breasts), Charlene Slezak (breasts), Jilian Starfighter (breasts)
The Skinny: What's in a name? Everything, when it's the title Topless Tapioca Wrestling. What you see is what you get (off on): gorgeous ladies stripped down to their thongs and covered in the sticky stuff as they grapple with each other's slippery bodies. Prepare to get gooey.
Vanessa (1977)
Studio:Severin Films
Nudes:Eva Garden (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Olivia Pascal (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Uschi Zech (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), uncredited actresses
The Skinny: Vanessa (Olivia Pascal) is raised by nuns in a convent following the death of her parents. Upon venturing from the cloistered walls to claim an inheritance, Vanessa travels to Hong Kong and is perplexed to learn that the family income derives from a string of Asian whorehouses. The nature-versus-nurture debate in regard to Vanessa's erotic character is thence argued to greatly arousing effect. Brought to you by Severin Films. 
