This weekend in theaters, the massive snow storm that struck the country has apparently resulted in a severe shortness of cinematic skin, because the new 3-D epic adventure Sanctum, the teeny-bopper thriller The Roommate, and the new Natalie Portman flick The Other Woman all yield a grand total of bupkis when it comes to T&A.
The Sanctum
A team of cave divers are trapped in a giant underwater cave in the new 3-D adventure flick The Sanctum. There's nothing worth mentioning here, so your best bet is to go pick up the 1991 softcore flick Inner Sanctum with naked Tanya Roberts and Margaux Hemingway's body double. Or better yet, wait for Drive Angry and check out Charlote Ross's eye-popping full-frontal in 3D. Sanctum? No, but we spanked 'em!
The Other Woman
After making out with Mila Kunis in Black Swan and baring her butt in No Strings Attached, Natalie Portman is back in theaters for the third time in three months in The Other Woman. Unfortunately there's no lesbianism or nudity here, so go pick up pick up 2007’s Hotel Chevalier. Eight minutes in, Natalie makes her nude debut and gives us a great view of her sweet seat meat. You've done The Other Woman, Natalie. Now give us another nude scene!
The Roommate
New in theaters, Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly star in the creepy lesbian-tinged stalker flick The Roommate. But what's really scary is that neither of them has EVER been nude on screen. These roomates are young and hot, but when it comes to skin, they can't pay the rent. So why not check out The Roommate's skin-spiration, the 1992 flick Single White Female? Stars Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh both get naked throughout the movie, baring boobs, butt, and bush repeatedly. I wonder if they need a womb-mate.
