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So, it’s the day after you’ve devoured the dinner of the year … but the long Thanksgiving weekend is just beginning. What to do? Well, since the holiday may well have stimulated your appetite, Cosmopolitan magazine offers some helpful tips for getting more than ‘just the tip in.’

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And then illustrates the post-feast positions and pro•seed•ures.

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While Brooklyn-based freelance writer Eve Peyser goes into even deeper detail for those who binged … but still want to merge:

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“Unless you’re a professional competitive eater, having sex on a full stomach is something you can usually avoid,” the sexy 20-something scribe suggests to randy readers. “But Thanksgiving presents an interesting conundrum in this regard. Think about it: If you’re home for the holidays, you might only have one night to bang the guy you had a crush on in high school or the quasi-attainable girl next door. So when considering the eternal question of ‘to bone or not to bone,’ you might just opt for the former—the contents of your stomach be damned.”  

And if you think about it {Sleuth has a lot of time on his hands today}, Thanksgiving and Sex do have a lot in common: First you have to strip the bird … massage the breasts … heat the oven … butter everything up … spread the legs and stuff them real good … then eat them up.  

So with everyone having a heightened appetite, one must be careful that certain common cooking phrases might be miscon•screwed by family and friends. So unless you’re ‘hunting,’ you might want to avoid saying to the gathering: “Clean the carrot … eat the pie … mash the potatoes … butter the corn … tug on the wishbone … taste the gravy … cover with nuts … light or dark meat? … or put the bird in the oven.”  

And best to prematurely preclude any come•ons involving ‘creamed spinach.’  

But today, after the meal has concluded and the stomach settled, you might buckle down to some holiday stuffing:

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The ‘pole’ positions, as suggested by none other than Women’s Health {honestly!} are called, clockwise from top left: Stuff the Turkey, The Wishbone, Turkey Trot and the show of gratitude Kiss the Cook.  

And since it’s a serious, scientific publication, the feminist folio even offers technical advice: “Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head,” Women’s Health writes about Stuff the Turkey. “Then have him squat down and dip his penis in and out of your vagina. And no, the pilgrim hat is not necessary,” they top it off.

What is required, however, are some Sleuth ‘finds’ to finish off last night’s ‘TV Dinner.’  

As the Daily Mail mused: “From Marilyn Monroe {uncovered in opening part yesterday} to Lucille Ball {unearthed today}, many of the rich and famous had at one time or another appeared on camera in ridiculous pilgrim garb, posed with a live turkey or were captured jet-setting off to a Thanksgiving vacation.”  

Here are five favorites who did their bit before turning on the tube:  

 

BARBARA EDEN

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Every ‘pilgrim’ dreamed of ‘Jeannie’ in the Sixties and their prayers were axed (above left) and answered when her outfit spilled open in 1981’s Return of the Rebels (above right).  

“Barbara never did a nude scene,” explains a reviewer at the Celebrity Nude Database, “and this is absolutely the closest we will ever get to seeing a flash of those phenomenal boobs. In the scene, as she is turning her robe gaps open very briefly, but long enough to expose almost all of one of her breasts. It’s just a turn-on seeing that she was braless and almost popped out (sequence below). If you’re a Barbara fan, this is as good as it gets:

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Unless you count the car•nal knowledge she im•parted in this rare upskirt candid!

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Her ‘Great Pumpkins’ made their debut in her first year as Jeannie (below left) … yet Sleuth discovered her way back (below left) when she went by ‘Barbara Huffman.’

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LUCILLE BALL

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‘The First Lady of Television’ had something in the oven (above left) before she gave birth to ‘Little Ricky’ on her 1/19/53 show—an episode watched by an astounding 92% of all TV sets in use at the time! Only her hair kept her from being bare precisely 20 years before (above right) as a Roman Scandals starlet.

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“Her boyish figure lent nothing to the abbreviated costumes of her early Earl Carroll or Flo Ziegfeld chorus lines,” notes a biographer, and Lucy roasted herself (above left) with the nickname ‘Iron Boobs’ {as in ‘flat as a board’}. Thus, Sleuth’s discovery of her only topless pose ever (above right) represents one of his finest finds!    

 

DONNA REED

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“Our plots revolve around the most important thing in America—a loving family,” declared the wholesome housewife of The Donna Reed Show, which earned her four Emmy nominations in the ’60s. And what could be more about ‘family’ than Thanksgiving—which Donna depicted in this early starlet shot (above left). But yours truly went back even earlier to unearth this revealing rarity (above right) when she was still just Donna Belle Mullenger.

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Ironically, her most famous role was not about Thanksgiving but Christmas—as the wonderful wife in It’s a Wonderful Life (1946). Reed felt the mother on her eponymous show (above left) “was rather forward thinking” … and clearly comfortable in her own skin (above right).    

 

SALLY FIELD

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“You really like me!” Sally exclaimed after winning the Oscar, but she was no doubt giving thanks for landing gigs as Gidget and The Flying Nun after having posed as studio starlet with a musket and a meal (above left). Then went from lick her lips to read her lips in camel toe crevice jeans during her purple period (above right).    

 

SUSAN DEY

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We can’t conclude without a nod to teen idol David Cassidy, who died just two days before this Thanksgiving from liver failure. Surely his television ‘sister,’ sublime Susan Dey would want us to remember him. And we’re guessing she wasn’t shooting a Partridge in a pear tree with the Family flintlock above left. Go ahead, make my Dey (above right).  

Sadly, both Dey and David—as well as Cassidy’s actress daughter Katie—battled alcohol addiction, which led to his death at age 67. We can only hope Susan the Squaw (below left) doesn’t come to a similar END

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