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The Ranch

The Ranch (2004)

Hall of Fame Nudity!

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Review

Party of Five writer Lisa Melamed and Sex and the City director Susan Seidelman meld their sexpertise of teens and sex queens to bring you the after-five version of dramatic party girls in Showtime's one episode pilot turned into a made for TV flick The Ranch (2004). Not to be confused with Netflix's Ashton Kutcher led comedy, the ladies of Diamond Ranch, a legal brothel in Nevada, find themselves being managed by the down on her luck widow Mary Larkin (Amy Madigan), who is sympathetic to what landed them their gigs as sex workers. Some are failed actresses and lounge singers, some are desperate for money divorcees, some tell their husband they're a stewardess, one is dealing with a pimp from back when she worked on the street, and some are only there because they're in love with the other hookers. It's not hard to see how all these ladies of the night's problems could have been stretched to a multi-season television show, but even with just the movie there's plenty of skin showing. Bonnie Root was the only women who didn't show anything, although even she paraded around in a black bra. Paige Moss played a naughty schoolgirl, who used her skirt to flirt, and flashed her funbags to a classmate, before letting a dude do her doggy style for a few dollars. Nicki Micheaux and Jessica Collins sucked on each other's jugs so much during an interracial lesbian threesome that you might not even notice there's a man watching them. Don't worry, a bit later there's more tit when the two sunbathe by the pool. Jennifer Aspen rode a guy with her MILFY jugs out, but kept her skirt on just to be kinky. But the best nudity in the movie came when we saw the huge hangers of the blonde bombshell Samantha Ferris as she gives an Elvis impersonator a beej. Thank you, thank you very much Sam! It's a shame this one wasn't a long lasting series, since we would have loved to see their Hidden Valley's when the ladies of The Ranch started undressing!