The Bionic Woman

Why is it that whenever someone has a bionic bit, they suddenly get really slow whenever they exert themselves? Very weird. I’d think that’s a bug. “We have the technology… but we keep getting this error.” In this spin-off of the Six Million Dollar Man (what, the chick’s not worth six million too?) Steve Austin’s childhood smooch-buddy nearly dies when ski-diving, so they stick her back together with Lego and Radio Shack parts. If only they could have given her Gabriella Hall’s rack. Lindsay Wagner did a little nude part in 1973’s Two People, so if you have a REALLY good video store around, rent that puppy for a look at what she looked like before she went mechanical.