When Bush was big and Bond was bigger Dr. No came out in the first of what would be magnanimous 22 film series that would span over 4 decades. These movies have everything a classic action flick should have: villains with names like Puss Fella, some serious 60's torpedo tits, and so many Freudian slips I lost track of the count. I really admire a man like bond, it's truly amazing how much ass he gets- but that's how it goes when you're as smooth as the martinis you drink. He's got a gaggle of gals with double entendre names and his sexy secretary Miss Moneypenny, who makes an appearance in nearly every Bond film (loyalty at its finest). All are the makings of a truly fantastic series.

In the first movie Bond is sent to Jamaica to unravel his scheme Dr. No of the evil terrorist group SPECTRE, to use nuclear reactors to disrupt the American rocket launches. Fortunately, he meets the beautiful blonde Honey Ryder along the way, played by Ursula Andress, and when a movie is set in Jamaica- they're bound to end up at the beach. The famous scene of Honey getting out of the water became such a staple they used it again in 2002's Die Another Day with Halle Berry, hunting knife and all.

Little Miss Honey and her teenie bikini spends a good portion of her time on screen in nothing more than that, catching the eye of Mr. Bond- and anyone else who's seen the film. He saves the day and avenges the death of Honey's father, gladly taking a passionate kiss from her as his prize (among other things I'm sure). It was a breakout roll for Ursula, not long after Dr. No she began to unveil herself to the world, wasting no time getting fully nude in June's Playboy 1965. She's been nude in 16 movies- no small accomplishment for a little girl from Switzerland.


What's interesting about Dr. No is that the voice of Honey isn't really her! It's actually the voice of Nikki van der Zyl who did revoicing for at least one character in ever Bond movie made in the 60's and 70's. Kinda gives a whole new meaning to the concept of a body double.


From Russia With Love was the second of the series to come out in 1963, and it picked up right where it left off. SPECTRE, in an attempt to make up for the death of Dr. No they swore to finish Bond off by having him assassinated while distracting him with smuggling a cryptograph to the CIA. Thanks to Mother Russia and the terrorists the cryptograph also came with a hot little vixen named Tatiana Romanova who is duped into giving it to Bond under false pretense.

Once again, Bond rides off into the sunset with his borscht loving babe, unscathed... (I just love these story lines) It even comes complete with half naked cat fighting gypsy's (Martine Beswicke and Aliza Gur) and 5 minute belly dance sequence. It honestly took a while till I realized that I had been memorized by it for so long.


In the third installment Goldfinger, Bond starts things off by pissing off some drug lords and banging the lovely Jill Masterson (played by Shirley Eaton) who ends up being killed shortly thereafter, turning gold as she dies. I can think of worse things to do before dying.


Soon after, Bond is captured by the evil Goldfinger and transported via jet by the famous Pussy Galore. Plans are made to hold Bond captive while the bad guys attack fort knox but the plan had already been foiled as Pussy pulled a Lohan and switched sides. Pussy can be tricky like that. Once the proverbial bomb had been disarmed and the day had been saved, it just took one more hijacked plane and Goldfinger being sucked out of a window at 30,000 feet for Bond and his Pussy Galore parachute into the sunset. Onto a beach no less, talk about convenient!


After the success of Goldfinger the next film was given a substantial raise and in 1965 Thunderball had some clout as the fourth in the series. Again with the nuclear warheads? Bond has to defeat SPECTRE once more in a plot to extort diamonds. 100 Million worth of diamonds isn’t that much these days, but it’s enough to fill a bathtub which is ideal in my mind. The leading lady this time around is Claudine Auger who plays Domino Derval, the villains mistress, and in an attempt to avenge her brothers death helps Bond find the missiles and save the day. It’s amazing how they manage to escape death, complete the mission, and run off to get freaky all in the last 5 minutes.

By 1967 Bond and his ladies were notorious for bringing action and sex to the screen and they continued to do so with You Only Live Twice. Here we have the threat of World War III, complete with a trip to Japan, rocket fuel, and a plan by SPECTRE to destroy aircraft in space. Lucky there’s always a scantily clad assistant or two in a bikini not too far away to aid him in defending the world. Thank you Aki and Kissy, I don’t know what Bond would have done without you.

While this movie isn’t the best in the series it was adapted into one of the Mike Myers spoof on Bond movies, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me with Heather Graham as Felicity Shagwell. Myers adaptations are funny, and with sexy stars like Elizabeth Hurley and Beyonce they're quite enjoyable if you don't mind the slapstick comedy.

Now that you are caught up with the dawn on Bond, go and see Quantum of Solace with the intensely seductiveOlga Kurylenko as Camille and the adorable Gemma Arterton as Miss Strawberry Fields, which opens in theaters this Friday. If you can't get enough of those two be sure to grab this months Playboy where they are both featured in a tribute to the Bond girls.



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Many thanks to Chris Roo for his amazing photography, for more of his work please visit: www.chrisroo.com