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National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day has grown to be an international event,” observes the National DayCalendar. “Now occurring on the thirdFriday of December {cleverly conceived so it can come no later than 12/21 and always leave at least a weekend before Xmas Eve}, the celebration gives holiday lovers worldwide a chance to wear their ugliest Christmas sweaters. The day continues to grow in popularity.”

“Lurking in the murky depths of many people’s closets is a colorful, brash and (in most cases) highlyembarrassing novelty Christmas sweater,” explains the Days of the Year site. “When Ugly Christmas Sweater Day comes along {today!}, it’s time to stop being ashamed of the contents of your (likely gifted) wardrobe and start busting out the ugly” {excluding the bodacious bare busts at top}.

“There is such a thing as ‘so awful you can’t really hate it’—the nether regions of Netflix have multiple movies that fit this criteria.” And who wouldn’t wish to fit the nether regions of New York’s former mainstream model for Seventeen magazine, 32B-25-31 Kayla Jane Danger who, fittingly, runs a website called My Doll Parts.

“Some guys use anal as a bargaining chip,” the girls-only performer writes in her advice column. “Think of her favorite sex act (I would say having my pussy eaten) and tell her you will eat her pussy twice for every time she lets you finish in her ass. If you are good at eating pussy, then that might be the incentive she needs!”

And while we’re on the subject, let’s pay lip service to the ugly Christmas jumper that, at present, promises: “If you like my ORNAMENTS, you should see MY BOX” (below left).

The holiday hottie offering up her hairless honeypot is another ‘tattooed rocker chick’ and web celeb, Georgia’s juicy 31B-28-30 Misty Gates (above right), whose birthday comes just 2 days before Christmas (12/23/94) and vows: “I’m absolutely feral—I could kill a pitbull and fuck the hell out of you in the same series of motions.”

And this amateur pair with contrasting-color hair will make you stare at their box more than their locks!

Surely it doesn’t take three wise men to focus one’s attention on the hood ornament …

… it makes perfect frankinsense.

Low and behold: even without the ugly sweater ‘Santa Suit,’ the seasonal sweet spot remains a beaut!

The busty brunette is 34C-26-36 adult actress Teal Conrad—born Brook Marie Carlile in Lake Oswego, Oregon on 6/1/93—who recalls: “I went to a private Christian high school and graduated early. Guys love an intelligent woman who swallows.”

Which brings up back to the prick of Ol’ Saint Nick! Aside from all the ‘pole’ jokes, it seems he’s featured on many of the most salacious sweaters of the season. A popular pull•over depicts him “coming down the chimney” to give a gal “a white Christmas” …

… an off shoot, no doubt,of the phrase ’jac frost nipping at your hose !

Though should his seed do the deed, there’s also an ugly seasonal sweater to mark that non-virgin birth.

And he is called ‘Father Christmas.’

Where is Mrs. Claus in all of this, you ask? Hopefully not just a beard … she sits “by the chimney with care, in hopes that [her hubby] soon would be there.” Why, even her stuffed stockings mesh nicely with the night!

Yet “what to my wandering eyes should appear,” but some ‘Naughty’ knitwear and an act we hold dear.

’Twas just like the poem we all learned as tots: “As I drew in my head and was turning around/Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. The droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow/And the [spot] on the chin was a white as the snow.”

“Like secret Santas and good old-fashioned eggnog,” Hollywood Life picks up the cream theme, “ugly sweaters have become a beloved holiday tradition that we look forward to every year—and we’re not alone! Like us, Hollywood’s hottest stars can’t deny the festive appeal of slipping on a kitschy Christmas pullover in the name of the holiday season.”

W magazine seconds that emotion: “Of course, most fashion houses aren’t exactly in the business of selling purposely tacky novelties, and not everyone can spend their time combing thrift stores for that perfect embroidered reindeer-festooned garment. Thankfully, celebrities have come to the rescue. In fact, it seems anyone with an IMDb page or an Instagram follower count over one million is designing theirown branded ugly sweaters.”

Most exalted among them the Queen Bey—the Lemonade looker launched her own line last month: “This year,” writes New York magazine, “all the singer wants for Christmas is you in an ugly hoodie with the words ‘I Sleigh All Day’ over your heart and ‘Boy Bye’ on your butt.”

Butt that means, according to InStyle, “Take note, Bella and Gigi {the hot Hadid sisters of fashion fame, below left}: If there were an ugly holiday sweater runway show, you best believe Beyoncé would be closing it” (below right).

We’re opening Sleuth’s wish list of the TenTop UglyChristmasSweaterCelebs with the one we began Part 1 with, Little Miss Mistle(camel)toe herself, smiley Miley.

And please note, as with most things, Sleuth feels it’s always better without the sweater!

MILEYCYRUS

SOFIACOPPOLA

WHITNEYCUMMINGS

IMOGENTHOMAS (Miss Wales of 2003)

ALISONLOHMAN

RIHANNA

BELLATHORNE

DANICAPATRICK

VANESSAHUDGENS

DEMILOVATO

The beauteous gluteus grotto of Lovato is an END in itself.

Truly, the gift that keeps on giving …