Shanghai Surprise (1986)

Madonna is a missionary in a strange position: She needs opium to ease the suffering of her patients, so she must straddle the underbelly of Japanese-occupied Shanghai in order to please the man upstairs. That's the gist of Shanghai Surprise (1986)--and if you get the gist of Madonna, you won't be surprised to find that, pious miss or no, she also ends up straddling a man downstairs. Sean Penn is that lucky gent; he plays a fortune-hunting ruffian who bluffs his way around Shanghai at Maddy's behest, doing whatever deeds she needs done for to keep the meek awash in opium. It's a tough gig, but it has its perks--like seducing the delirium-inducing Sonserai Lee. Sean and Madon' don't do any getting it on onscreen . . . matter of fact, Maddy doesn't show anything that's even halfway obscene. But luckily for us, Mad's got so much pluck that her mere presence in Shanghai Surprise gets Mr. Skin's thang hai!