Secrets of the Satin Blues (1981)

When our underwear starts talking, we take it as a cue to finally make a trip to the laundromat. The talking panties of Secrets of the Satin Blues (1981), however, constantly cue up bizarre sex scenes in this amazing import. The titular unmentionables have a lot to talk about, too, kicking off their journey with a socialite who suddenly gets Sapphic with her best pal, before going on to dust things up with her maid. The maid, incidentally, turns out to have already been licking her mistress’s daughter clean. Some guys eventually get in on this French frolicking, but it’s ladies such as Caroline Aguilar and Marcha Grant who get our panties in a bunch--so to speak.