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School for Unclaimed Girls

School for Unclaimed Girls (1969)

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The sexploitation flick School for Unclaimed Girls (1969) was known by its decidedly more British title The Smashing Bird I Used to Know when it was released in the UK in 1969, though it got the title switch when it came to the USA four years later. It would've been a smash hit if the Americans knew how much nudity there was in it! The film stars Madeleine Hinde as Nicki Johnson, a young woman whose dad died in a tragic accident, leaving her mom (Renee Asherson) to throw herself into the arms of any loser that gives her a second glance. One of them attacks the younger, hotter Nicki, so she stabs him and is sent to reform school. That school is full of badass, butch lesbians, but Nicki ends up okay since she ends up protected by the muff munching mamacita with a mean streak, Sarah (Maureen Lipman). After tons of canoodling, the two make their escape only for this one to end in a truly "wtf" ending you won't see coming. These unclaimed girls are also frequently unclothed, giving us a good look at their captive cans, keisters, and coochies while they engage in alternating bouts of violence and the perverse prison passions of girl-on-girl gropery. Let’s hear it for the class of ’69! Of all the young ladies, Nicki made us the most sticky, so we liked watching Madeleine show her suck sacks in the shower, the most. That's the bod of a bird we'd love to smash! But that's not to say it wasn't great to watch Valerie Wallace go full frontal opening her towel and giving the other ladies a show. More like the school for unclothed girls! We're not going to claim School for Unclaimed Girls is a great movie, but it's undeniably a pretty hot one!