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Roller Blade

Roller Blade (1985)

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Review

Action meets comedy in the science fiction fantasy Roller Blade (1985), not to be confused with Roller Blade Warriors: Taken by Force (1989). Throughout the goofy movie, viewers are treated to visions of big hair, butterfly knives, a puppet and naked ladies. Set in a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles, Donald G. Jackson’s futuristic flick has ravishing rebels fighting against a fascist state while a wicked doctor (Robby Taylor) goes after a crystal owned by a nun (Katina Garner) in a wheelchair. If that sounds bizarre, it is. But things can’t be that bad when the resistance includes roller-skating nuns. The Sisters of the Holy Order of Roller Blades are played by be-thonged babes Barbara Peckinpaugh, Crystal Breeze, Michelle Bauer, and Suzanne Solari. Let’s just say these sexy sisters make it a habit to wear nun too much clothing. As such, we get to see their collective nude boobs, pubes and booties! Suffice it to say, what this no-budget pic lacks in funds, it makes up for in flesh! In addition to exposing her rack, snatch and ass, Ms. Bauer’s character reveals her lesbian preferences for Ms. Peckinpaugh’s part. Or should we say parts? Who can blame them when the men to choose from include Marshall Goodman (Jeff Hutchinson), Little Chris (Chris Ray Douglas-Olen), and a Samurai devil (Sam Mann). No wonder, the walkman-toting hunter Sister Fortune (Shaun Michelle) hunts elsewhere. The setting is “The Second Dark Age” but how dystopian can a movie be when it features naked nuns in a hot tub?