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DANIELLEHOUGHTON
“Now that’s a Hooters Girl!” exclaimed an Internet poster when images of a sweet-faced, well-endowed waitress and model secretly surfaced online in January 2012.
Her nametag read ‘Danielle,’ but little else {well, not so little …} was known about her. “Yo,” wrote a reader to The Dirty website at the time. “I found some pics of this huge chested Hooters Goddess! I believe she is from Wisconsin. All I know is her name is Danielle. I gotta say I am hooked on this chick—she’s probably the hottest chick ever on this site!”
When she was traced to the Hooters franchise in Janesville, Wisconsin (pop. 63,000)—the birthplace of third-in-line to the Presidency, Paul Ryan—search parties were organized to verify their vera•city: “Anyone up for a road trip to Janesville, WI?” asked a FreeOnes forum fan that April. “Already on my way,” replied another member. “Wait for me!” pleaded a third. “Would it be weird to call ahead to see if she’s working?”
Following the best use of Google Maps since Lion, the result was an anonymous video that captured Danielle and her colleagues at work outdoors.
“This is kinda creepy,” shuddered a viewer when it garnered over a million views. “Like posting a stalker video on YouTube!” You be the judge {of the jugs}:
Yet it still didn’t answer the BIG question: “Could those naturally be God’s work?” asked The Dirty’s notorious ’netmonger Nik Richie {husband of sexy Shayne Lamas and her double-D implants}.
“Nik, it seems everyone has mixed feelings about whether her boobs are +2’s or real,” a Dirty denizen posted days after the video went viral. “Well, I grew up with Danielle Houghton here in Whitewater, and let me tell you, even in high school she had some huge sweater puppets (below left) … but all of a sudden they just BLEW UP!” (below right).
“Number one,” Nicole Christon continued, “she didn’t get a boob job! She has cysts and she’s on medication she’ll need to get surgery on her chest for the rest of her life, bc they’ll never stop growing.”
Even during the two years she spent at Hooters:
This headline said it all:
“Danielle Houghton is My New Favorite Hooters Girl” exclaimed blogger Nate Black soon after. “The first time I saw a picture of Wisconsin’s 19-year-old waitress I thought I was looking at a Photoshopped or otherwise misleading image, because I’m overly skeptical of everything I see. But what I found was a good case of the ‘WTFs,’ because not only are these images of Danielle working at Hooters not altered, but it would seem that her 32DDD-26-38 dimensions are due in large part to an odd medical condition (or something like that).”
It’s called Virginal Breast Hypertrophy, defined as “when an adolescent’s breasts grow rapidly and achieve great weight usually soon after her first menstrual period. Some adolescent females experience minimal or negligible growth until age 17 or 18 …
… when their breasts suddenly grow very rapidly in a short period of time. Women suffering from VBH often experience excessive growth of their nipples as well”—note Dani’s protruding through three layers (below left)!
“In severe cases of VBH,” Wikipedia adds, “hypertrophy of the clitoris occurs.” Which might explain Houghton serving up a massive camel toe on the job (below left).
Which she tried to cover with that protective pouch (above right).
“Danielle’s large breasts are also due to the fact that she suffers from having cysts growing in her chest,” explained blogger Black, “that had been drained before, but continue to grow. Allegedly, she was to have some sort of ‘corrective surgery’ a while back that would ‘cure’ her condition.
“But real or fake, Photoshopped or authentic, natural growth or medical anomaly,” he concluded, “I think that either way we can agree that there has never been a better time to visit your local Hooters Family Restaurant.”
Sleuth is somewhat of an expert in this area … and concludes they cannot be fake. There is no evidence of the dreaded ‘Silicone Valley’ gap in her cleavage (below left) …
… nor do implants have this kind of natural sag extending to the armpit when encased in a bikini.
Get the picture? (above right).
Self-professed ‘Breast Expert’ Ben Stein also offered his opinion: “Pretty sure it’s not a boob job. There’s a pretty clear progression of growth in her pics, so if she did get implants she’d have to get a few different sizes in a very short amount of time. Also, while they’re pretty big, they seem to ‘behave’ like real breasts. Obviously not when they’re tied up in a tight Hooters shirt, but they definitely don’t have that fake spherical look that a lot of extra-large implants have.”
“The only way to stop this condition is to undergo breast reduction,” explained one surgeon, “but it may comeback due to hormones.”
After growing to 34GG, Houghton reportedly opted for the operation to reduce her chest to a C cup in late May of 2013—prompting an outpouring of angst from her admirers. “It’s a sad day for us,” wrote one on the Tits in Tops forum. ‘God cried on that terrible day,” replied DD Cup Lover. “A moment of silence please …,’ posted a third. “My God, she was the best,” sobbed another.
The Hooters hottie confirmed the conversion by posting a post-op image smiling and kicking up her heels (center) …
… and allowing a close galpal to report: “Danielle tells me that her chest is still growing and if she doesn’t want to be huge, she’ll have to get reduced every now and then for the rest of her life. She’s already grown a cup size since her reduction.”
So Sleuth can only concur with the diagnosis of an analyst who concluded: “It would seem awfully weird for a random Midwest waitress (as opposed to a girl near Hollywood or Vegas) to somehow get extra-large implants, not do any nude photos or porn whatsoever, and then remove them in a couple of years. Just my two cents.”
Though Sleuth must add his two: in the form of this topless collage that a “Danielle” posted on an amateur site.
The nipples certainly seem similar in color to those peeking out of the overmatchd top in her Hooters heyday:
“It’s similar to professional athletes or musicians who ‘make it big’ and then can’t handle the fame, pressure or whatever. Many are called, few are chosen.”
Let’s choose to give the last word to her best friend Nicole Christon, when she addressed another rampant rumor about why Danielle “went dark” so suddenly—though she seems to have recently emerged using her real name ‘Danielle Hotin’ to post a pair of computer presentations on Prezi.com—which bills itself as ‘The Next Big Thing in Presenting’:
“My friend Danielle doesn’t have herpes or anything else being speculated,” countered her fellow waitress Nicole. “That’s just jealous people talking out of their ass.”
