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Hebrew Hotties

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Now we understand why God chose these people. They're hotter than the Promised Land in summer and will burn the foreskin right off your Hebrew hammer. Now that's kosher. Michelle Williams and Sarah Silverman in Take This Waltz (2011) join some other naked women for a shower. Whether it's in a synagogue or not, we can't say, but it's nice to know they keep their three Bs clean. She may not eat pork, but we'd eat Natalie Portman in Hotel Chevalier (2007) up, up, up! Don't judge Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls (1995), she's lap dancing her way through medical school. Emmy Rossum in Shameless (2011) takes a ritual bath in the nude, actually it's a pool, but she's still naked. Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) is every bar mitzvah boy's wish to bring them to manhood. Lesbian Jews? Jennifer Connelly and Debra Cole in The Hot Spot (1990) give it a roll. Is it anti-Semitic to cast Charlotte Gainsbourg in Antichrist (2009)? Who cares when she's this hot. Lizzy Caplan in True Blood (2008) prays to the vampire god, which isn't in the Talmud. French Jew Mélanie Laurent in The Last Day (2004) is the last word is sexy. If Evan Rachel Wood in Across the Universe (2007) doesn't give you wood then talk to your rabbi. Fully nude and fully appreciated by the gawking male crowd is Mia Kirshner in The L Word (2004). Rachel Weisz in I Want You (1998), well, Rachel we want you, too. Who said Jewish girls can't fuck, not Selma Blair in Storytelling (2001). Maggie Gyllenhaal in Strip Search (2004) may be the nudest Jew of all time. Oy vey!

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