Cosmopolis (2012)

Cosmopolis (2012) is based on a novel about a rich guy driving around New York City in a limo, in the midst of an anti-capitalist riot. But the really crazy thing is, the book was written back in 2003, a full eight years before Occupy Wall Street was even an idea. Adapted and directed by horror master David Cronenberg, just two years after he wrapped up the Twilight series, Robert Pattinson stars as Eric Packer, a financial wiz kid who is in the middle of taking a giant gamble by shorting the Chinese yuan. He's so focused on this high stakes gambit, which isn't going very well, that he barely notices the giant riots happening outside of his limo. Traffic's a mess due to both a famous rapper's funeral and a visit from the president, his wife (Sarah Gadon) is about to leave him since he's losing so much money, an assassin's after him, and to top it all off, he starts killing people. What a disaster. But for whatever reason, Eric really doesn't want to leave that limo. Other than his wife, the women in the film don't seem to care that he's forced to sell off all his stock. They just want his cock. A true one percenter, Eric has both an art consultant (Juliette Binoche) that helps him pick out great pieces, who's also a fine piece of ass, and a body guard (Patricia McKenzie), who lets him do all sorts of nasty things to her body. As the art consultant, Juliette bounces all over R-Patz till he splats! Unfortunately, all we get to see are her jugs bouncing in a black bra. Patricia is the one who goes all the way, flashing all three B's while the curly haired, kinda jacked badass rides him, before flashing a gun. More like a naughty guard, we've never seen security with such great titties! Is this how great life is for finance bros? If so, we'll Occupy Wall Street, since dudes like Eric in Cosmopolis don't deserve to constantly be balls deep!