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Blood Diner

Blood Diner (1987)

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Review

The amazing horror/comedy Blood Diner (1987) was originally envisioned as a sequel to the early gore classic Blood Feast (1963). But by the time Jackie Kong got ahold of Dukey Flyswatter's script, she realized it'd be better to turn this one into a horror comedy that didn't depend on continuing any preset storyline. The movie kicks off with serial killer uncle Anwar Namtut (Drew Godderis) asking his two nephews (Rick Burks and Carl Crew) to keep up his work of sacrificing innocent souls to the goddess Sheetar. Typical quirky uncle sheeit. Even when the cops kill him, the brothers stick his brain in a jar and continue his work. The sick siblings grow up to open a health-food diner. Of course, it’s also a cover for their plans to reanimate a mummified goddess with a buffet of blood. They've got to collect body parts from dirty women, find a virgin for the ultimate sacrifice, and make sure Detectives Sheba (LaNette LaFrance) and Mark (Roger Dauer) don't spoil their plans. Director Jackie Kong adds plenty of her trademark lunacy, including ultraviolent scenes and bizarre characters. But what will really have your blood pumping is the sexy ladies 86ing their clothes! Cynthia Baker cooks up some full frontal, while Effie Bilbrey is even effing hotter jiggling her milk covered jugs as she flees from out psychotic brothers. We'd watch that 24/7! But it's Tanya Papanicolas who looks even finer at the blood diner, especially when she goes tits out with lightning bolts coming from her fingers as the resurrected goddess. We even get to watch as she runs a topless cheerleading class full of busty, bouncy babes! Ain't none of them flat as a pancake! Chew on that, because Blood Diner is a feast for your eyes!