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Best Movie Merkins


If you can't have pussy than we'll take the patch, and these actresses pack the moist as you'll soon see. Heidi Klum in Blow Dry (2001) has a heart-shaped box you'll want to open, and we doubt you'll be able to wait until Christmas, maybe XXXmas. A box in the hand is worth what in the bush? How about a bleached pussy like Kim Cattrall in Sex and the City (1998)? Okay, we'll take it. Alanna Ubach in Waiting... 2-Disc Unrated Edition (2005) has got an angry pussy cat and it needs a combing. There's something rotten in Denmark and Malin Akerman in The Heartbreak Kid (2007) is breaking our hard-on with this disturbing scene. Camping nude and covered in hair, Patricia Arquette in Human Nature (2001) is a natural woman and, if you're a natural man, you'll be wacking off to her now. Shave and a haircut two bits for Olivia Alaina May in 18 Year Old Virgin (2009), nice butt too, until the electric razor gets stuck in her underbrush. Not a true blonde? Terri Johnson in Video Vixens (1975) is a true beauty, with perky tits and a bubble butt. Bats and a bush that needs a trimming from Anna Faris in Scary Movie (2000). Not a good ending for Amy McGee in Feast II (2008), but a happy ending for we men who have a merkin fetish. Let's stop beating around the bush, huh? Unless, of course, that’s what you like to do.


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