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“This summer,” previewed The Daily Dot, “hundreds if not thousands of women will be breaking the societal cycle for the first time, by foregoing the razor in order to raise funds for charity. Armpits4August is a collective of hirsute and body-hair-positive women who are tired of the pressure to pluck and preen to perfection …
…and are setting the challenge to simply stop one practice on one area, for one month.”
Why they oughta erect a statue to ’em!
“Hairy armpits have always been embraced by punk rock girls and feminists,” the Dot declares. “After all, noting says ‘fuck the man’ quite like a good pair of unshaved lady underarms.” Like when punk provocateur Patti Smith ‘egged’ everyone on with this curly cover session for Easter in March 1978.
“I showed armpit hair on the cover of my Easter album,” Smith shrugs today, “and it was so disturbing to people—which I still don’t understand—so they wouldn’t rack it in the South.” And braless,hers is quitethe rack!
“While the occasional celebrity has been spotted on the red carpet over the years with a subversive peek of pit hair showing (I’m looking at you, Julia Roberts),” writes feminist scribe Mary Emily O’Hara, “the press has traditionally viewed women revealing their body hair as an embarrassing accident ” {like a wardrobe galfunction}.
“But there’s no way mainstream media can ignore the current wave of international bloggers, feminists and celebs who are calling for women to put the razors down and let their natural body hair grow.”
Mr. Skin recently paid plumage to this trend by posting a Top 10 List of ‘Naked Babes with Hairy Armpits’ …
… with luxuriant Lisa Bonet being #1 by virtue of her bloody-good bush below the neck in Angel Heart (1987):
Sleuth is coming at it from a different angle {BTW, slang for ejaculating into an underarm is a ‘gooey chicken wing’}.
Instead of mere movie scenes, this countdown will concentrate not on some stray stubble or careless shaving on a particular day—nor having to ‘grow it out’ for a period film when armpit hair was prevalent—but rather when a star’s unshaven underarms are a personal choice in her private life!
Thus our pursuit of the hirsute represents a real, as opposed to reel, reflection of their inner ‘pit preferences.’
“Ever wondered what it would be like to not have to shave your body hair off ?” asks Tomorrow Woman. “Well, some celebs have gone one fur•ther than wondering and actually done it. Whether it’s because they haven’t had the time to shave under their arms, or just because they want the freedom to choose, an increasing number of famous women now sport armpit hair. Is it gross, rebellious or inspirational?”
Well, it inspired Sleuth to rack ’em … and rank ‘em!
As Celebtella.com comments: “From Madonna to Miley Cyrus to Penélope Cruz [all accounted for below], it appears that more and more famous women have been rocking armpit hair lately. Did they run out of razors or is it just a new fad? Whatever the case may be, most of these female celebs look good no matter the length of their armpit tresses.
So without further a•’do …
10. MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ
Her hair there must grow Fast Furious … because the action activist first sprouted back in Sept. 2008 (above).
“Fur Goodness Sake!” headlined the Daily Mail in Dec. 2015 when she “posted a picture of her ‘yum fuzz’ on Instagram" (above).
“Michelle Rodriguez Wins Hairy Pits Competition’ announced TMZ in Jan. 2016 when the openly lesbian leading lady “rang in the new year by fro•licking in the waves with her new friend … that underarm bush she’s rocking again.”
9. JULIETTE LEWIS
Fifteen years ago, this pie•oneer attended the premiere of her film Enough with something extra. “Juliette Lewis forget to shave for this plunging dress,” mocked The Mirror, “what a nightmare”—once again treating unshaven underarms as unintentional.
But make no mistake, the daughter of Clint Eastwood’s sidekick in Every Which Way But Loose {Geoffrey Lewis} had in•hair•ited the urge to let her locks loose (above).
Juliette’s ginger pits were sparse in 1995’s Strange Days … but then, she never did have ‘much up top.’
8. LIZZY JAGGER
Mick’s darling daughter clearly took Satisfaction …
… when the Rolling Stone spawn chose to Paint It Black …
… while gathering moss for a fashion photoshoot: “Under Her Arm, a Siamese cat of a girl.
It's down to me ... "
7. JEMIMA LOLA KIRKE
“Not everyone is on board with the trend,” opined O’Hara, the feminist writer. “When actress Jemima Kirke of HBO’s Girls stepped out on the CFDA Fashion Awards red carpet in a long sculpted red dress that revealed her unshaven armpits (above), the Internet lost its shit.”
“Kirke got such pushback on Twitter that she responded with a tweet asking everyone to calm down: ‘It’s just my own personal preference,’ she made clear. ‘That being said please can we stop talking about pits?’” And focus instead on those tits!
“Armpit hair grows at the rate of approximately one inch per month,” confides The Cut.com, “so getting underarm tresses like Jemima Kirke will likely take at least two months.” In that case, her five years-younger sister Lola (above) must’ve started at birth!
“When they cast me in the role,” Lola laughs of her Amazon Streaming series, “the part was this kind of hippie housewife. I was like, ‘Oh, that’s fine, she probably wouldn’t shave her armpits, either.” The show, wouldn’t you know, is Mozart in the Jungle.
6. PENÉLOPE CRUZ
“One could argue that, like normcore {unisex fashion}, this is just a trend for ‘hot people,’” claims The Cut. “But what are you saying?! You, person, are beautiful—and your armpit hair will only enhance that beauty. Just look at the infamous picture of Penélope Cruz (above right). Is she beautiful? Sure, but with that pit hair, she’s stunning.
Likewise onscreen in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2002)—where the reaction of Capt.Nicolas Cagesoldiering on atop the shaggy shagging Spaniard isn’t ‘hard’ to gauge: standing at attention!
Pené’s pits command all the attention as she tells her Latinagirlfriends about the encounter, lounging in a diner booth.
And that's the truth:
5. AMANDA PALMER
At the 2010 Golden Globes, Dresden Dolls lead singer Amanda “walked the red carpet (above left) with a flapper dress,” Jezebel recounted, “and silicon nipple covers (‘tit shields’ she calls them}, black underwear and thigh-high stockings. She also didn’t shave her pits.” And almostnever does! (above right)!
“I rarely shave,” Palmer—who is heavily inked (above)—confirmed, “and I thought this was a lovely time to do some feminine culture-jamming. God knows we need it.” We need todrink to that!
4. MILEY CYRUS
The current leader in the nubhouse in flaunting the fuzz is, of course, the Can’t Stop songstress—who’s also no stranger to ‘showing pink.’
Calling it ‘ArmCandy’ might be a bit of a stretch (above left) … but the former Hannah’s montanas look good enough to eat!
“Miley Cyrus is the latest A-lister to show off long underarm hair,” noted the New York Daily News after she accepted an award without sleeves … or cares. “This follicular fashion follows Jemima Kirke proudly showing off her unshaven underarms earlier this year on the red carpet {see plucky No. 7 above}, and other celebs have since dared to bare their hair up there.” And, in Miley’s case, her pert pair:
3. JULIA ROBERTS
The Pretty Woman superstar deserves a special place for being the first to make peace with her fleece on the red carpet … for the May 1999 premiere of Notting Hill. Make that knotting …
“Julia Roberts is no stranger to doing what she wants,” writes Tomorrow Woman. “When you think of celebrities turning up to a premiere you tend to imagine glitz, glamour and freshly waxed armpits. However, it was only when Julia lifted her arm to wave that we all saw exactly to what lengths she was going to break that norm. It seemed as though she hadn’t shaved in months … and really wasn’t bothered by it.”
And more than a decade later, she hadn’t bothered to depilate before filming 2010’s Eat Pray Love in Bali (above). Or, as Evil Beet Gossip groaned: “Julia Roberts Should Read That Book Eat, Pray, Shave Your Armpits!” Or watch her film Pitty Woman !!
2. MADONNA
“Long a leader in long underarm hair,” the NY Daily News observed in 2015, “Madge has kept the trend going, most recently flaunting her fur on Instagram in March with the caption, ‘Long hair … Don’t Care!!!!!!’” The Mirror must’ve cared, however, carping: “Never one to miss out on a splash of controversy, Madonna has also joined the hairy armpit brigade, and flashes them unashamedly. Well, she’s flashed worse …”
“I saw how the popular girls had to behave to get the boys” in high school, the Material Girl recalled in 2011.”I couldn’t fit into that—so I decided to do the opposite. I refused to shave. I had hairy armpits. The boys in school used to make fun of me.” Now no one’s mocking Madonna’s lovely lookalike {and shave-alike} daughter Lourdes!
1. SOPHIA LOREN
Unshaven underarms were unheard of among stateside actresses … until the all-natural Neapolitan sailed to our shores in 1957 … and unabashedly launched an Americanarm•ada!
Sixty years later, hair apparent Jemima Kirke cited the Italian Eyeful as her idol and (underarm) inspiration.
“Sophia Loren makes anything look sexy as hell,” Café Mom.com commented just last month … and it’s indeed inspiring that her plush pits can command our attention even with a guy peeing off the boat behind her!
And speaking of behind … orient you glad we’ve finally come to THE END ?