Alien Showdown: The Day the Old West Stood Still (2013)

Don't have time to watch Alien Vs. Predator AND Cowboys and Aliens? Then you're in luck, because the "mockbuster" Alien Showdown: The Day The Old West Stood Still (2013) has all the elements of those hit films, except for, y'know, the production values, famous actors, and/or special effects budget. But one thing it does have on those other "aliens in the Old West" movies is a scene where a guy in a Predator mask flogs his log as Gemma Donato whips out her suspiciously silicone-looking suck sacks (who knew they had breast augmentation in the Old West?) while having a private moment in the woods. And if you're terrified of little grey men in flying saucers, you might want to skip the scene where one of them E.T.'s a topless Nadia Lanfranconi as she sleeps. It might give you a funbag phobia, and no off-brand sci-fi flick is worth that.