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xXx (2002)

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Review

Back when people were convinced The X Games was going to give the NFL a run for its money, the box-office hit xXx (2002) starred Vin Diesel as an extreme sports enthusiast recruited to become a high-tech secret agent. Okay, it certainly seemed believable at the time. Besides, somebody had to step in to upgrade the James Bond formula--as the filmmakers playfully indicate at the start of the film, when a tuxedoed good guy is easily dispatched trying to hide out at a rave. In our favorite xXx film that's not a XXX film, Vin plays Xander Cage, an extreme athlete who's wanted by the US government, which gives Uncle Sam the leverage to recruit him to deal with some Russian terrorists. Soon enough, he's impressing the former Soviet psychos and infiltrating their cell. Things go well at first, until his cover ends up blown after he confesses to a Russian hottie (Asia Argento) who he really is, only for her to rat him out and get him put in a sniper's crosshairs. But while he might not be the All American boy, Xander isn't going to let the terrorists win. Sticking around and settling things his own way, Xander has to use his unique skills to save the day, even if it's a bit ridiculous how often he conveniently finds an abandoned bmx bike, a jump to go off, or a rail to grind down. If you're into Eastern Europeans, this one's got plenty of women for you to gaze at. Martina Smukova plays a Czech cop you can check out in her bra and panties thanks to Cage's binouculars that let you see through clothes. Gotta get us some of those. Alena Cihalikova does a sexy bra and panties dance for Xander as a welcome present, including using his bed post as a stripper pole. That's one bad comrade! Leila Arcieri can be seen in a thong, too. But with all due respect to those ladies, the best stuff comes from the far East, or at least from Asia. Yes, Miss Argento proves too busty for her tank top when she runs and one of her poppers pops out. Tit happens. Add to that some bikini shots and a bit of cheekage when looking up her dress, and you'll understand why this spy couldn't keep his eyes off her. Xander just wanted to put his hands on her! Can't blame him, there are so many sexXxy women in xXx!