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When the women’s pole vaulting competition begins this morning at the Rio Olympics, the consensus ‘Greatest Vaulter in History’ will not be allowed to compete—due to a ‘blanket ban’ on others in her home country for using drugs!
“It’s a direct violation of human rights, discrimination,” fumed Yelena Isinbayeva, while threatening to sue after being banned from going for her third Olympic Gold Medal because of a ‘dark shadow’ over Russia’s entire track and field team resulting from “state-sponsored cheating, corruption and cover-ups.”
“Let me compete in Rio,” the 34-year-old, 3-time World Champion begged the International Association of Athletics Federations (I.A.A.F.) in an editorial published in the New York Times in June. Otherwise, “those of us who have never used banned substances will be punished for the behavior of others. Over the course of nearly 20 years of competition, including throughout my four Olympic cycles, I have never failed a doping test. I have been tested endlessly by anti-doping officials around the world, and all of my 28 world records were set abroad” {that is, outside the state-run Russian system}.
Indeed, the 5-foot-9 140-pound vaulter has the face and figure of a fashion model, not a steroid user:
“After all,” Issy {as her friends call her} concluded, “at their heart the Games are about individuals, not nations. As Pierre de Coubertin, the father of the modern Olympics said, ‘The Olympic Games were created for the exaltation of the individual athlete.’ The I.A.A.F. should not punish all of us for the wrongdoing of some.”
So let’s exalt this unique ‘all-time great in athletics’—so stunning that actress Angelina Jolie was said to be in talks to play her in an upcoming biopic!
“I simply adore her,” the Russian remarked in giving her approval for Jolie to assume the role. “Her birthday is on June 4 and mine is on June 3. I do not know her personally, but I watch her acting and doing interviews. She is extremely charismatic.” Whether doing interviews (below left) or nipping out for a premiere, Yelena radiates the same!
Born in Volgograd to a poor plumber father and boiler room worker mother, her parents saved to enroll Yelo {a family nickname} in gymnastics when she was just 5—“mainly since they were both working full time and needed some way” for her to be supervised.
As the New York Times profiled: “She kept at it for 10 years, even as she grew too tall to harbor any real hopes of becoming an elite gymnast. In the process, she also conquered any fears of putting her body in precarious positions.” Experts agree that Isinbayeva’s gymnastics training is what sets her apart from other pole vaulters: “I like that I can control my body,” she smiles. “I like to fly.”
Yelena laughed off rumors of a romance with the Russian leader, but many were skeptical when she was seen whispering in his ear at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi …
… and seeming overly familiar straightening Putin’s collar at a gala event!
So hot is missy Issy that even her aging coach Evgeny Trofimov—who has continued to train her after suffering a stroke—can’t resist copping a feel.
Isinbayeva cemented her place in sport in July 2005 by “becoming the first woman to clear the historic 5-meter barrier in the pole vault.” That’s 16.4 feet—a feat that Yelo marked by raising her arms …
… and fans marked by celebrating her charms in this rather well-done Photoshop fake.
Sleuth doesn’t do Photoshop … so, since she would have begun competing today … he’s chosen to show what you’re missing due to Yelena’s absence from Rio by counting down his Top Ten Views of the Vaulting Vixen!
10.
9.
8.
7. The lady loves her ‘pole’…seemingly giving a hand job and BJ to her favorite big one!
6.
“Yelena Isinbayeva has nice looking labia,” observed Gutter Uncensored after this Dec. 2014 wardrobe malfunction. “This picture was taken right after an unsuccessful vault. I wish the cameraman was a bit more to the right, but still a great shot—you can see her track suit bottoms are exposing some pussy lips.”
And you can see the brief video of the mons•umental moment here:
5.
And if you want to fan•tasize what’s behind that big Bolshevik bush …
… Internet manipulators have removed her bottoms for you!
4.
Those thighs try a massive pole on for sighs
3.
Mellow Yelo makes up for her taut 32A breasts with ever-erect nipples …
… getting maximum bounce for the ounce in this super slo-mo vaulting video:
Even Issy gives a black-from-the-track thumbs up for this life-like capper creation!
2.
And the Gold Medal goes to …
1.
Even as I write this, there’s light at the end of the tunnel {so to speak}:
The Court of Arbitration for Sport has just announced a last-minute decision to reinstate a single Russian to compete in track and field … and she may be even more beautiful than yummy Yelena Isinbayeva!
“I am a clean athlete,” declared Darya Klishina, a 25-year-old puffy-nippled long jumper, “and have proved that already many times and beyond any doubt.” There’s surely no doubt that her ass is world class!
And now she’s free to show the world today in her first Games: “I can thankfully focus my time and attention on competing tomorrow night and enjoying my Olympic experience,” Darya declared after the decision on Monday. “I have dreamed of this moment since I first began long jumping as a young girl.”
Let’s hope it ENDS well for her …
