Where the Boys Are '84 (1984)

Filmmakers are setting themselves up for failure when they attempt to remake a classic. Take the bombs — Psycho (1998), The Women (2008), The Karate Kid (2010), Carrie (2013), Annie (2014), Ben-Hur (2016), and Robin Hood (2018) — please! The same can be said for Where the Boys Are ’84 (1984). As one of the first teen comedies, Where the Boys Are (1960) has a cult status. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that it stars Connie Francis, Dolores Hart, Paula Prentiss, and Yvette Mimieux in bathing suits! Nevertheless, producer Allan Carr had the sand to push for a reboot. At least, he could get shots of Fort Lauderdale hotties on the beach. But you’d think, since it was the indulgent ’80s, the new movie would include some nudity. Alas, the comely cast never shows off their natural assets. Like the original pic, the updated flick features four different types of women. Instead of Sex and the City, it’s more like Sex and the Surf sans significant skin. In other words, the leading ladies never shed their threads. Jennie (Lisa Hartman) is a virgin, Carole (Lorna Luft) is the outgoing type, Sandra (Wendy Schaal) is a spoiled Southern belle, and Laurie (Lynn-Holly Johnson) is boy crazy. The story also includes Maggie (Alana Stewart), Barbara Roxbury (Louise Sorel), and Christine (Dara Sedaka). Ironically, it’s the virgin who flashes the most flesh. Yes, Lisa steals Mr. Skin’s heart when she touts her cleavage in a slinky pink bikini. Translation: Ms. Hartman will make you hard man!