89 - Do Her/Don't Do Her - 09/26/2011

Still mad at Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) for refusing to partner with him, Silas (Hunter Parrish) calls Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and tells her to come to NYC. After arriving in New York Jill breaks into Nancy’s computer and steals incriminating files in order to blackmail Nancy for full custody of Stevie. The sisters come to a sort of understanding and Jill even accompanies Nancy to the drug dealer Demetri’s (Pablo Schreiber) house to sweet talk him into returning the weed he stole from Nancy.

Nancy shows her glutemou goods to the dealers while Jill looks on. Everyone wants a hit of the homegrown honey.

Two months later the Botwin family, including Jill and Stevie, are living together as a big happy family complete with large weed grow room. But their picturesque life may be about to end, because as the family sits down to dinner, a sniper outside in the bushes aims his scope at Nancy. Hopefully he is just looking to catch a peep of Nancy’s nubile nuggets!

81 - Fingers Only Meat Banquet - 07/25/2011

Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) older sister Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) has been taking care of Stevie (Ethan Kent) while Nancy was in jail, and now she wants full custody of him. Nancy and Silas (Hunter Parrish) fly to California for a custody hearing but Jill’s lawyers manage to get the case postponed for two months, leading to an angry confrontation between Nancy and Jill.

Shane (Alexander Gould) enrolls in college in New York and uses his student loans to help keep the family afloat.

Doug (Kevin Nealon) gets an accounting job from his college friend Whit Tillerman (Bruce Nozick). He immediately discovers irregularities in the books but a visit to a massage parlor convinces him to keep it quiet. The boys mix business and pleasure by hashing out the details while getting twin topless massages from Jen (Rachel Germaine) and Carrie (Christina Ferraro). Those twice-as-nice happy endings turn in to doing overtime as Carrie leaves and Jen is stuck double fisting both dudes. Different strokes for different folks!

80 - A Hole In Her Niqab - 07/18/2011

77 - Bags - 06/27/2011

Esteban (Demián Bichir) finally catches up with Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker), but Andy (Justin Kirk) manages to get himself, Silas (Hunter Parrish) and Shane (Alexander Gould) safely on an airplane to Copenhagen. Esteban wants his son back and Nancy dead so she must resort to her “Plan C” for escape, turning herself into the police for Pilar’s murder.

She spends the next 3 years in prison and is released early to a halfway house. While she was safe on the inside, Esteban was killed in prison and her family made a life for themselves in Denmark. Nancy’s lockup didn’t stop her sex drive, however, and she has been hooking up with her lesbo cellmate Zoya (Olga Sosnovska). Zoya has some secrets of her own as she gives Nancy’s clues to find a secret stash of weapons outside of the prison.

No nudity in this episode but a lovely glance at Nancy’s top notch crotch in white panties as she strips.

71 - Gentle Puppies - 10/11/2010

The Botwins buy a trailer on the cheap from a closeted preacher’s ex-wife, who just wants the thing out of her yard. They set up camp in a trailer park and start building up the weed business.

Andy (Justin Kirk) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) meet the locals and realize there is money to be made from a traveling “Salvation Show”. Pastor Andy baptizes various meth-heads and promises that they are cured of their addictions. The con doesn’t last too long after Keith, a meth addict they baptized, immediately gets high again and the town turnes against them.

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) finds an outlet for her sexual frustration in local bar owner Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar). She meats him after hours at the bar for a rough belt spanking on her cute can before getting down to the main event. Nancy shows her mouthwatering mary janes as he bangs her like a cheap gong on the bar. That’ll get your pipe hot!

70 - Pinwheels and Whirligigs - 10/04/2010

After Cesar (Enrique Castillo) and Ignacio (Hemky Madera) tracks the Botwin family down in Seattle, they are forced to go on the run again. They head out in a car stolen from Silas' (Hunter Parrish) latest conquest, Kimmi the shower slut. As their life of constant flight seems to be taking its toll on everyone, Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) has the family stop in Montana to enjoy a local carnival.

Andy (Justin Kirk) and Silas bond over their similarities, then enter a butter eating contest in order to win a luxury RV. Silas miraculously wins the contest, but when he is asked for his name and social security number to claim the prize, he realizes his fugitive status means he can't claim his prize.

Nancy takes some time to clean herself up in a public restroom wearing purple lace bra and denim miniskirt. That bod is looking spliffy!

67 - Bliss - 09/13/2010

Shane (Alexander Gould) murders Pilar (Kate del Castillo) after she explicitly threatens the family, and the Botwins flee north towards Canada to hide. After they are turned away at the Canadian border, they settle in Seattle under assumed names and start working at a local hotel. The normal jobs quickly turn seedy as Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) makes a deal with the concierge to supply weed to the hotel patrons.

Nancy quickly runs out of weed and uses Andy’s (Justin Kirk) connections as a hotel sous chef to steal used oil. The oil makes a good trade as biofuel in exchange for some local hippie weed.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) spends his free time hanging around the local college campus picking up ladies. He meets Kimmi (Jamie Renée Smith) and they have a trivia night date before heading back to her dorm to do it in the shower.  Kimmi lounges nude in the locker room giving us a long look at her adorable apples and later her sweet seat meat as she goes for a pony ride on Silas. That’ll get your blunt smoking!

59 - Suck 'n' Spit - 08/03/2009

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) has given birth to her son but Esteban (Demián Bichir) refuses to acknowledge him for fear of damaging his political career. Andy (Justin Kirk) steps up to the plate by putting his name on the birth certificate, having a bris, and naming the baby Steven Ray Botwin.

When pumping her breast milk doesn’t seem to be working Nancy calls Andy in to help her relieve some pressure. She brings out her right sucker for Andy to nurse. That milky missile will make you love 2am feedings!

Pilar (Kate del Castillo) sets Esteban up on a date with a local society woman to help win favor with his constituents. When the evening is a disaster, he realizes that the only women he wants is Nancy. As he meets with her to confess his love, an assassin does a drive-by on the house, wounding Shane. We’d prefer shooting skeet on Nancy’s nippeloons!

56 - A Modest Proposal - 07/13/2009

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) is still alive thanks to Esteban’s (Demián Bichir) baby, which is six months along. As they hang out at the Kingpin’s place in Tijuana, Esteban pops the question and Nancy seems pretty happy to say yes. When Andy (Justin Kirk) hears about the engagement he is depressed and disappointed that Nancy is choosing Esteban over him.

Shane (Alexander Gould) has a temporary father figure in the form of Ignacio (Hemky Madera), Nancy’s latest bodyguard. He helps Shane starts a drug dealing business in his school and helps him get his pot back after a teacher steals it.

Police Chief Jones (Larry Joe Campbell), who has been taking payoffs from Doug and Andy, demands more money and is stunting sales by constantly hanging around in his uniform. When Doug confronts him the argument gets physical and Doug beats him senseless.

Nancy’s engagement doesn’t last too long as Esteban finds out that his white fiancé is making the locals distrust him. We almost get a glance of Nancy’s pregger pokers in the shower but the steam obscures the view. That’s one steaming hot box!

50 - If You Work for a Living, Why Do You Kill Yourself Working? - 09/15/2008

When Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) finds out that Esteban (Demián Bichir) is using the underground tunnel to smuggle heroin and women as well as weed, her conscience gets the better of her and she turns informant to the DEA. Esteban immediately finds out but when he confronts Nancy about it, she has an ace in the hole: she’s pregnant with his baby.

As part of her 12 steps, Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) meets up with her daughter Quinn (Haley Hudson), who she sent to reform school in Mexico in the first season. As they sip tea with her boyfriend Rudolfo (Kevin Alejandro), Celia starts to feel woozy and Quinn reveals she has drugged her mother and will be demanding ransom.

Doug (Kevin Nealon) is in love with illegal alien Maria, but when she sleeps with Andy (Justin Kirk) instead of him, he calls the INS to have her deported. With a new wedge driven between them, Doug and Andy fight about unrequited love until Doug accuses him of being in love with Nancy. Why else would he put up with her for so long?

Andy hashes out their issues while Nancy lounges nude in the tub, her perky puffies keeping the water super hot.  Those buds are smoking!

45 - I Am the Table - 08/04/2008

Doug (Kevin Nealon) and Andy’s (Justin Kirk) coyote business plan hits a snag when they discover the border is being patrolled by minutemen. There’s only one solution; to join the group themselves. Doug infiltrates the minuteman as Andy manages to sneak their first group across. Unfortunately, they are so caught up in their success that they forget to get paid. Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) is working in the shop that serves as Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) front, and passing the long hours by speeding on the local drugs.

Nancy meets with Esteban (Demián Bichir) again, and he is so taken with the green goddess that he lets all his compatriots know that she is under his protection. As they have lunch in a local restaurant the place gets shot up, the work of one of Esteban's many enemies. They head back to his place to see his pet lion, then he shows Nancy his pet trouser snake. Nancy brings out her ripe raspberry ripples as Esteban packs her bowl. That’ll have your joint blazing!

44 - Yes I Can - 07/28/2008

The Botwin family has relocated south near the Tijuana border after a fire destroyed their previous home. Andy (Justin Kirk) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) have come as well to escape their history in Agrestic.

Doug and Andy decide to get into to the human-smuggling business helping illegal immigrants cross the border. Silas (Hunter Parrish) is in charge of the new grow room, which is in the back of their neighbor Lisa’s (Julie Bowen) cheese shop. He also starts playing house in a more intimate way by banging her on the down low.

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) meets with the Mayor of Tijuana/head smuggler Esteban Reyes (Demián Bichir) to try and convince him to let her deal on his turf. He thinks her naughty attitude can only be righted with one thing...spanking! He flips her over in his limo to deliver the punishment to her panty-clad culo. You’ll want to bogart that booty!

35 - Risk - 11/05/2007

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and Conrad (Romany Malco) are back to hooking up and they have a new place to do it- Celia’s house. Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) has given them the place as a new grow house to get revenge on Sullivan (Matthew Modine) for cheating on her with Nancy. That, and she goes to his office and smashes the whole place up with a baseball bat.

Shane (Alexander Gould) keeps talking to himself, and Nancy later finds out he believes he is talking to his dead father.

Nancy gets a new tattoo of a u-turn signal in the memory of her tough guy mentor U-Turn. She shows it and her cute can off to Conrad in the bedroom. You’ll want to get those buns sticky icky!

30 - The Two Mrs. Scottsons - 10/01/2007

Peter’s (Martin Donovan) body is discovered in a drainage ditch but it doesn’t seem like there will be any repercussions for Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker). She attends his funeral but keeps her distance.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) is making more money than his mother selling weed, a fact that Nancy can’t believe. He’s working with evangelical Christian Tara Lindman (Mary-Kate Olsen) who justifies her pot smoking by saying that “God made weed”.

Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) gauges her scarred boobies and bountiful furburgerage in the mirror after cancer forced her to get replacements. We say the new model is an upgrade!

Andy’s (Justin Kirk) mauled foot finally does him some good when he gets to be in his own porno starring his amputated toes. Jessica Jaymes gets a footjob from Andy while showing full frontal bean and beautiful bolt-on bazongas.  That homegrown bush will give you the munchies!

29 - He Taught Me How To Drive By - 09/24/2007

U-turn (Page Kennedy) is dead after pissing off his cousin Marvin (Fatso-Fasano) one too many times. Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and crew head to his funeral where Nancy eulogizes by saying he taught her how to drive-by. Marvin’s in charge now but can’t manage to oust the Mexican drug cartel lead by Guillermo (Guillermo Díaz). Nancy returns the heroin that U-turn stole from Guillermo, which appeases him for now, but he tells her she cannot deal in his town.

City developer Sullivan Groff (Matthew Modine) is Nancy’s boss at her “real job,” and his constant sexual advances towards her are finally rewarded with a diddle on his desk at work. We get to see Nancy in her knickers as she gives Sullivan a crack at her.  

Sullivan has also gotten Andy (Justin Kirk) a job working as an assistant on a porn shoot starring Lexington Steel, Kristen Price, and Jessica Jaymes. The ladies take a break from humping to sample Andy’s lunch buffet, both showing outstanding full mams and muffin. Meanwhile Andy is probably thinking about putting some schmear on their bagels. Their perfect pornstar pokers are still on display as they get back to the action in a three-way scene that quickly ends when Andy’s food sends Lexington Steel running to the bathroom. Here’s hoping Andy gets two pink slips!

24 - A Pool and His Money - 08/20/2007

After Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) finds Silas (Hunter Parrish) with a trunk full of Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) weed, she makes the decision to get rid of it by dumping it all in her pool. U-turn (Page Kennedy) wants either the weed or the money and Heylia (Tonye Patano) comes to Conrad’s (Romany Malco) rescue with her rainy-day fund. Nancy is still out of luck and U-turn is not leaving until he gets his money.

Andy (Justin Kirk) brings home Shane (Alexander Gould) from his aborted road trip with crazy Kat (Zooey Deschanel) and Silas from the police station.When they arrive they try to deal with Nancy, who is freaking out and all out of options. As everyone watches she takes off her clothes and sinks into the pool in her bra and panties.  Those floaties will have your hand bobbing!

22 - Pittsburgh - 10/30/2006

At Shane’s (Alexander Gould) graduation party, Dean (Andy Milder) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) fight it out over Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) while she takes the opportunity to come onto Andy.

Peter (Martin Donovan) confronts Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and Conrad (Romany Malco) at the grow house and accuses them of porking behind his back the entire time they were married. He’s not too far off on that assumption. Peter heads outside to let them meet with possible buyer U-turn (Page Kennedy) while he gathers the evidence. The deal with U-turn quickly goes sour and he pulls out his guns while Peter gets popped off by the Armenian mafia who were sent by Heylia (Tonye Patano) to kill him. As the Armenians and U-turn argue over who will be taking Nancy’s entire crop, a phone call from Silas reveals that he has already taken the weed in an attempt to force his mother into a partnership.

Nancy has to open her shirt to prove she is not wearing a wire, showing off her nectarous niblets encased in a black bra.  That’ll have you firing up your fatty!

20 - Mile Deep and A Foot Wide - 10/16/2006

Andy’s (Justin Kirk) ex Kat (Zooey Deschanel) tracks him down and wants him to sign off on a book she’s writing about their wild times in Alaska. She also wants to relive their legendary lovemaking in her van. When the van’s a-rockin' don’t come a-knockin', right fellas?

Heylia’s (Tonye Patano) operation gets raided and she tells Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) that unless Peter (Martin Donovan) leaves her alone she is going to make a lot of trouble.

Nancy sits on her bed, barely covered in lacy lingerie, after a disastrous dinner with Peter. She calls Conrad (Romany Malco) and tells him that she will never love Peter but must keep him happy because he is so useful. Unbeknownst to her, Peter is still sitting outside her house listening in with surveillance equipment.

Doug (Kevin Nealon) and Celia’s (Elizabeth Perkins) rivalry comes to a head and they work out their differences by burying Doug’s bone. Celia does all the work on top of lucky Doug, her choice cleavage unfortunately concealed by a nightie. Hopefully he is a gateway Doug into more licentious lovin!

17 - Must Find Toes - 09/25/2006

When the weed team finds a stray dog running around after the raid, they decide to take him in. Unfortunately the dog is not too grateful and bites two of Andy’s (Justin Kirk) toes off, landing him in the hospital hopped up on morphine.

Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) finds a way to have Doug’s (Kevin Nealon) name removed from the ballot just in time for her to win the City Council race against him. As elected official, she plans to make the city a drug-free zone.

Andy gets TLC and T&A from Yael (Meital Dohan) in the wake of his injury. As she gets out of bed with him we get a glance at her gorgeous ganoobies. That will puff your magic dragon!

16 - Crush Girl Love Panic - 09/18/2006

Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) DEA agent boyfriend Peter (Martin Donovan) has arranged for every grow house in the neighborhood to be raided- except for hers. Unfortunately Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy) and Andy (Justin Kirk) freak out at the sight of flashing lights and sirens and try to flush whole weed plants down the toilet. Nancy finds them hiding in the closet the next day, with everything trashed except for the mother plant.

Conrad (Romany Malco) is suspicious that they were not hit in the raid and confronts Nancy about her secret services from Peter. Nancy has to confess that she and Peter got secretly married, so that if she ever gets in trouble he cannot be forced to testify against her.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) is dealing with the aftermath of his girlfriend having an abortion and his mom dealing drugs, so Nancy agrees to buy him a car to cheer him up.

Israeli Yael (Meital Dohan) wants to make Andy yell, by strapping on the big gun while wearing skimpy skivvies. Her body is so slammin' you’ll want to drop the soap!

13 - Last Tango In Agrestic - 08/28/2006

DEA Agent Peter Scottson (Martin Donovan) knows Nancy is a drug dealer, but he is much more interested in banging her than busting her.

Andy (Justin Kirk) is in school to become a rabbi, but is distracted from his studies by the schools’ hot Director Yael (Meital Dohan). Since Shane (Alexander Gould) is hitting puberty, Nancy convinces Andy to give him the birds and the bees talk, a talk that quickly devolves into tips on hiding his constant tadpole rodeo.

Silas’s (Hunter Parrish) girlfriend Megan (Shoshannah Stern) is accepted into Princeton, but he is not nearly brainy enough to attend the Ivy League school as well. So the couple decides to make the most of their time left together by banging as much as possible, leading mesmerizing Megan to show off her sweet stacks while slamming with Silas. That college cutie will have you boning up your studies!

7 - Higher Education - 09/19/2005

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) heads to the local college to find a tutor for Silas (Hunter Parrish), but when she sees how much weed the students are going through, she decides it’s a great money-making opportunity. Silas’s new tutor Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy) is great at math and hard up for money. When Nancy offers him a chance to be her middle man, selling weed on campus, he reluctantly agrees and the orders start pouring in.

Shane (Alexander Gould) makes a new friend and Andy hits the jackpot when his hot mom Eileen (Clare Carey) comes to pick him up. She’s having a trial separation from her husband which quickly turns into a joining with Andy. While the kids plays video games in the next room, Andy gives Eileen his joystick and she shows him her marvelous milk mounds. Come on Eileen!

6 - Dead in the Nethers - 09/12/2005

To support her family after her husband’s death, Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker) has set up a sham bakery that sells weed-laced pastries. It also serves as a convenient front to launder her drug money. After a sexy dream about her late husband, Nancy stays in bed for some she-bop but is unable to get off.

Her neighbor Celia Hodes (Elizabeth Perkins) has breast cancer and is scheduled for a mastectomy, so when she meets Nancy’s drug supplier Conrad (Romany Malco) she decides to get one last use out of her boobies by banging him in the back of his truck.

Nancy’s maid Lupita (Renee Victor) is suspicious of the cash flow, and when she discovers a pillowcase filled with weed she demands a raise to keep quiet about it.

Andy (Justin Kirk) meets stunner Sharon (Brooke Langton) at Marijuana Anonymous and convinces her to be his sponsor. He gets into her house and pants by feigning a possible relapse. While she rides Andy reverse cowgirl she shows a quick flash of her dainty diamond cutter. That’ll have you polishing your family jewels!