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Weeds (2005 -  ) Episode Guide & Nude Scenes

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  • Genres: Comedy, Crime, Drama
  • Premiere Date: August 7th, 2005
  • Network: Showtime
  • Country: USA

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When Mary-Louise Parker’s engineer husband drops dead from a heart attack on the hit Showtime satire Weeds, she’s left with a big house in the suburbs to pay for, a maid’s salary to maintain, and two sons to raise. But instead of becoming someone’s secretary, Mary-Louise goes into sales—pot sales, that is. While she’s trying to hide her new business from her family … Become a Mr Skin Member and get the full review

Top Scenes

Skin Celebs

Celeb Nudity Description Clips Pics
Tressa DiFiglia as Maggie
Meital Dohan as Yael Hoffman Nude breasts 2 8
Julanne Chidi Hill as Clinique
Alanis Morissette as Dr. Audra Kitson
Mary-Louise Parker as Nancy Botwin Nude breasts, bush, butt 16 56
Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes Nude breasts, bush 2 6
Lindsay Sloane as Maxeen Sexy sexy 1 2
Jina Song as Helen Chin
Shoshannah Stern as Megan Graves Nude breasts 1 4
Kate del Castillo as Pilar Zuzua
Clare Carey as Eileen Dodd Nude breasts 1 6
Christina Ferraro as Carrie Nude breasts 1 5
Kat Foster as Kiki Sexy underwear 1 4
Rachel Germaine as Jen Nude breasts 1 8
Jessica Jaymes as Herself Nude breasts, bush, butt 3 10
Jessica Kiper as Roller Derby Girl Nude breasts, bush, butt 2 10
Brooke Langton as Chloe Nude breasts 1 1
Kirsten Price as Herself Nude breasts, bush, lesbian 2 4
Jamie Renée Smith as Kimmie Nude breasts, butt 1 10

Meital Dohan … Yael Hoffman

Episode: "Must Find Toes" (Sep 25th, 2006)

breasts
Deep-haired stunner Dohan gives us a gratuitous glance at her snoobs when she gets up out of bed. You'll get high . . . in your pants! (40 seconds)

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 1 sexy clip and 3 nude pics and 5 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Mary-Louise Parker … Nancy Botwin

Episode: "He Taught Me How To Drive By" (Sep 24th, 2007)

butt
Panties while getting ready to have sex with Matthew Modine. You can see butt crack as she gets on the desk. (65 seconds)

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "Risk" (Nov 5th, 2007)

butt
Sweet upper seat crack is flashed when the adorable Mary-Louise admires her new ass tattoo. (14 seconds)

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "I Am the Table" (Aug 4th, 2008)

breasts
"Toke" a look at Mary-Louise's spectacular sweater set as she gets naked and bangs her drug lord boss. It'll make you SPLIFF! (53 seconds)

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "If You Work for a Living, Why Do You Kill Yourself Working?" (Sep 15th, 2008)

breasts
Mary-Louise shows both of her cute Parker pokers while relaxing in the tub and talking to her onscreen brother-in-law, who says, "I can see your boobies." So can we! (75 seconds)

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "Suck 'n' Spit" (Aug 3rd, 2009)

breasts
Mary Louise shows a nice right breast and asks her brother in law to suck on it because her boob is engorged after recently having a baby. (57 seconds)

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "Gentle Puppies" (Oct 11th, 2010)

breasts, butt
Mary-Louise's man pulls down her pants and whips her with his belt before the two engage in crazy, frenzied doggy style sex against a bar. Her T&A is smoking!

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "Do Her/Don't Do Her" (Sep 26th, 2011)

butt
Mary-Louise gives us a nice look at her tattooed can as she shows it off to some marijuana suppliers.

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "Only Judy Can Judge" (Jul 22nd, 2012)

breasts, bush, butt
Ms. Parker shows her breasts, butt, and bush, all underwater, while taking a night swim by herself.

Mr Skin has 9 nude clips and 7 sexy clips and 30 nude pics and 26 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Elizabeth Perkins … Celia Hodes

Episode: "Mile Deep and A Foot Wide" (Oct 16th, 2006)

breasts
Elizabeth heaves on top of lucky Kevin Nealon in bed. Unfortunately, he's the only one of the pair that's topless, but we do get massive cleavage from Liz. (33 seconds)

Mr Skin has 2 nude clips and 2 nude pics and 4 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "The Two Mrs. Scottsons" (Oct 1st, 2007)

breasts, bush
You'll Perkins up when you see Eliz go fully frontal in the mirror. Keep in mind that the scarred boobs are prosthetic, but that lush bush is definitely hers! (32 seconds)

Mr Skin has 2 nude clips and 2 nude pics and 4 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Shoshannah Stern … Megan Graves

Episode: "Last Tango In Agrestic" (Aug 28th, 2006)

breasts
A nice montage of Sho and her guy schtupping gives way to a couple of very quick peeks at each of her sweet teats. (50 seconds)

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 4 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Clare Carey … Eileen Dodd

Episode: "Higher Education" (Sep 19th, 2005)

breasts
Clare gets banged in bed, showing off a decent slice of her gorgeous rack. Forget bong hits--her bongos are a hit! (33 seconds)

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 6 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Christina Ferraro … Carrie

Episode: "Fingers Only Meat Banquet" (Jul 25th, 2011)

breasts
Kevin Nealon and his buddy get a rub and tug from Christina Ferraro and Rachel Germaine at a massage parlor while talking business. Christina has to go, so Rachel is left to finish the guys off on her own. Rachel and Christina show off their outstanding racks.

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 3 nude pics and 2 sexy pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Rachel Germaine … Jen

Episode: "Fingers Only Meat Banquet" (Jul 25th, 2011)

breasts
Kevin Nealon and his buddy get a rub and tug from Christina Ferraro and Rachel Germaine at a massage parlor while talking business. Christina has to go, so Rachel is left to finish the guys off on her own. Rachel and Christina show off their outstanding racks.

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 7 nude pics and 1 sexy pic from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Jessica Jaymes … Herself

Episode: "He Taught Me How To Drive By" (Sep 24th, 2007)

breasts, bush
Jessica (on the left) prepares to enjoy some hummus, fully frontal style, alongside the equally bare-beaved Kristen Price. (21 seconds)

Mr Skin has 3 nude clips and 10 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "He Taught Me How To Drive By" (Sep 24th, 2007)

breasts
Jessica's in the center, baring all during a 3-way porn shoot with Jessica Jaymes and a gassy, assy Lexington Steel, before getting up to chat with a set visitor. (60 seconds)

Mr Skin has 3 nude clips and 10 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "The Two Mrs. Scottsons" (Oct 1st, 2007)

breasts, bush, butt
JJ gives us FFN and A! On a porn shoot, she goes frontal on a bed after a foot job, and flashes ass when she hoists her legs in the air. (89 seconds)

Mr Skin has 3 nude clips and 10 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Jessica Kiper … Roller Derby Girl

Episode: "Red Tooth and Claw" (Jul 29th, 2012)

butt, breasts, bush
Jessica is full frontal, on skates, tempting Andy Botwin on a roller derby rink.

Mr Skin has 2 nude clips and 10 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "Red Tooth and Claw" (Jul 29th, 2012)

breasts, bush
More frontal from Jessica as she is laying on the floor of the rink with Andy Botwin, after sex.

Mr Skin has 2 nude clips and 10 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Brooke Langton … Chloe

Episode: "Dead in the Nethers" (Sep 12th, 2005)

breasts
It's faster than a speeding bullet, but that IS right nip when Brooke reverse cowgirls her guy. (9 seconds)

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 1 nude pic from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Kirsten Price … Herself

Episode: "He Taught Me How To Drive By" (Sep 24th, 2007)

breasts, bush
Kristen (on the right) prepares to enjoy some hummus, fully frontal style, alongside the equally bare-beaved Jessica Jaymes. (21 seconds)

Mr Skin has 2 nude clips and 4 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Episode: "He Taught Me How To Drive By" (Sep 24th, 2007)

breasts, bush
Kristen's on the left, bald and bare and fully frontal during a 3-way porn shoot with Jessica Jaymes and a gassy, assy Lexington Steel. (60 seconds)

Mr Skin has 2 nude clips and 4 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

Jamie Renée Smith … Kimmie

Episode: "Bliss" (Sep 13th, 2010)

breasts, butt
Jamie looks outstanding giving us nice long looks of her breasts, and even a little butt, as she is hanging out and getting it on with the eldest Botwin son in the shower.

Mr Skin has 1 nude clip and 10 nude pics from Weeds. Join Mr Skin to see them.

94 - Red Tooth and Claw - 07/29/2012

Nancy (Mary Louise Parker) notices that Stevie has taken a fancy to televised soccer matches and suggests that he start playing in a league. The local suburbanites are way too stuck up to let a mixed race kid into their hoity-toity matches, but Nancy threatens blackmail and manages to secure him a spot anyway.

Since her breakup with Andy (Justin Kirk), Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) has been trying to fill the hole left in her life by coupon clipping her way to extreme savings. But when that stops doing the trick, she turns to the Ambien drugged Doug (Kevin Nealon) for a catatonic hookup.

Andy is faring much better because when he shows up at the twin’s roller derby rink late at night, the racktastic referre (Jessica Kiper) is taking a fully nude skate. Since she is wearing only knee socks and roller skates we get to see every glorious inch of her boobs, buns, and neatly trimmed bush when she challenges Andy to a race with her as the prize. With that sexed up siren rolling around, this spectator sport will leave you spinning!

93 - Only Judy Can Judge - 07/22/2012

Despite her drug dealer status, Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) wants to get back to the good old-fashioned life and plans a family dinner. Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Andy (Justin Kirk) agree to watch Stevie during the day, but Jill is still struggling with Nancy coming home and wants to keep Stevie all the time.

Meanwhile Doug (Kevin Nealon) is facing off against his neighbor in a poop battle royale. Doug thinks the neighbor's Great Dane has been crapping on his lawn and is determined to make it stop. After painting the offending dog for revenge, Doug finally sets up a camera and discovers that the pooper is him. He’s been taking Ambien and sleepwalking.

Even though Nancy is trying to fill the role of happy mom, she’s still indulging her transgressive side with late night skinny-dips in her neighbor’s pool. First we get to see her buoyant backside as she glides through the water, then she turns over to reveal a glistening look at her moist mams and muff. She’ll put your pants in the pike position!

91 - A Beam of Sunshine - 07/08/2012

A bullet to the head wasn’t enough to keep Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) down, and she wakes up from her coma with a new lease on life. The near death experience has changed her whole outlook and when she is not rehabilitating in the ICU, she's helping out her fellow patients by delivering pot-laced baked goods free of charge. Of course that runs her afoul of a drug dealing hospital clown who want her off his territory, but Nancy has the smack talking skills to scare him off his own turf.

Shane (Alexander Gould) is in cadet training at the police academy and is using his new connections to track down who smoked his mother. All the clues lead him to discover the shooter was Tim Scottson (Daryl Sabara), the son of Nancy’s murdered DEA boyfriend.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) is still fooling around with his modeling agent, Kiki (Kat Foster), and their relationship seems to have taken a kinky turn.  Kiki gets clad in S&M style lingerie then tied up and gagged over a bench while Silas whips her barely covered can. Speaking of whipping things out…

89 - Do Her/Don't Do Her - 09/26/2011

Still mad at Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) for refusing to partner with him, Silas (Hunter Parrish) calls Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and tells her to come to NYC. After arriving in New York Jill breaks into Nancy’s computer and steals incriminating files in order to blackmail Nancy for full custody of Stevie. The sisters come to a sort of understanding and Jill even accompanies Nancy to the drug dealer Demetri’s (Pablo Schreiber) house to sweet talk him into returning the weed he stole from Nancy.

Nancy shows her glutemou goods to the dealers while Jill looks on. Everyone wants a hit of the homegrown honey.

Two months later the Botwin family, including Jill and Stevie, are living together as a big happy family complete with large weed grow room. But their picturesque life may be about to end, because as the family sits down to dinner, a sniper outside in the bushes aims his scope at Nancy. Hopefully he is just looking to catch a peep of Nancy’s nubile nuggets!

81 - Fingers Only Meat Banquet - 07/25/2011

Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) older sister Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) has been taking care of Stevie (Ethan Kent) while Nancy was in jail, and now she wants full custody of him. Nancy and Silas (Hunter Parrish) fly to California for a custody hearing but Jill’s lawyers manage to get the case postponed for two months, leading to an angry confrontation between Nancy and Jill.

Shane (Alexander Gould) enrolls in college in New York and uses his student loans to help keep the family afloat.

Doug (Kevin Nealon) gets an accounting job from his college friend Whit Tillerman (Bruce Nozick). He immediately discovers irregularities in the books but a visit to a massage parlor convinces him to keep it quiet. The boys mix business and pleasure by hashing out the details while getting twin topless massages from Jen (Rachel Germaine) and Carrie (Christina Ferraro). Those twice-as-nice happy endings turn in to doing overtime as Carrie leaves and Jen is stuck double fisting both dudes. Different strokes for different folks!

80 - A Hole In Her Niqab - 07/18/2011

77 - Bags - 06/27/2011

Esteban (Demián Bichir) finally catches up with Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker), but Andy (Justin Kirk) manages to get himself, Silas (Hunter Parrish) and Shane (Alexander Gould) safely on an airplane to Copenhagen. Esteban wants his son back and Nancy dead so she must resort to her “Plan C” for escape, turning herself into the police for Pilar’s murder.

She spends the next 3 years in prison and is released early to a halfway house. While she was safe on the inside, Esteban was killed in prison and her family made a life for themselves in Denmark. Nancy’s lockup didn’t stop her sex drive, however, and she has been hooking up with her lesbo cellmate Zoya (Olga Sosnovska). Zoya has some secrets of her own as she gives Nancy’s clues to find a secret stash of weapons outside of the prison.

No nudity in this episode but a lovely glance at Nancy’s top notch crotch in white panties as she strips.

71 - Gentle Puppies - 10/11/2010

The Botwins buy a trailer on the cheap from a closeted preacher’s ex-wife, who just wants the thing out of her yard. They set up camp in a trailer park and start building up the weed business.

Andy (Justin Kirk) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) meet the locals and realize there is money to be made from a traveling “Salvation Show”. Pastor Andy baptizes various meth-heads and promises that they are cured of their addictions. The con doesn’t last too long after Keith, a meth addict they baptized, immediately gets high again and the town turnes against them.

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) finds an outlet for her sexual frustration in local bar owner Jack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar). She meats him after hours at the bar for a rough belt spanking on her cute can before getting down to the main event. Nancy shows her mouthwatering mary janes as he bangs her like a cheap gong on the bar. That’ll get your pipe hot!

70 - Pinwheels and Whirligigs - 10/04/2010

After Cesar (Enrique Castillo) and Ignacio (Hemky Madera) tracks the Botwin family down in Seattle, they are forced to go on the run again. They head out in a car stolen from Silas' (Hunter Parrish) latest conquest, Kimmi the shower slut. As their life of constant flight seems to be taking its toll on everyone, Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) has the family stop in Montana to enjoy a local carnival.

Andy (Justin Kirk) and Silas bond over their similarities, then enter a butter eating contest in order to win a luxury RV. Silas miraculously wins the contest, but when he is asked for his name and social security number to claim the prize, he realizes his fugitive status means he can't claim his prize.

Nancy takes some time to clean herself up in a public restroom wearing purple lace bra and denim miniskirt. That bod is looking spliffy!

67 - Bliss - 09/13/2010

Shane (Alexander Gould) murders Pilar (Kate del Castillo) after she explicitly threatens the family, and the Botwins flee north towards Canada to hide. After they are turned away at the Canadian border, they settle in Seattle under assumed names and start working at a local hotel. The normal jobs quickly turn seedy as Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) makes a deal with the concierge to supply weed to the hotel patrons.

Nancy quickly runs out of weed and uses Andy’s (Justin Kirk) connections as a hotel sous chef to steal used oil. The oil makes a good trade as biofuel in exchange for some local hippie weed.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) spends his free time hanging around the local college campus picking up ladies. He meets Kimmi (Jamie Renée Smith) and they have a trivia night date before heading back to her dorm to do it in the shower.  Kimmi lounges nude in the locker room giving us a long look at her adorable apples and later her sweet seat meat as she goes for a pony ride on Silas. That’ll get your blunt smoking!

59 - Suck 'n' Spit - 08/03/2009

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) has given birth to her son but Esteban (Demián Bichir) refuses to acknowledge him for fear of damaging his political career. Andy (Justin Kirk) steps up to the plate by putting his name on the birth certificate, having a bris, and naming the baby Steven Ray Botwin.

When pumping her breast milk doesn’t seem to be working Nancy calls Andy in to help her relieve some pressure. She brings out her right sucker for Andy to nurse. That milky missile will make you love 2am feedings!

Pilar (Kate del Castillo) sets Esteban up on a date with a local society woman to help win favor with his constituents. When the evening is a disaster, he realizes that the only women he wants is Nancy. As he meets with her to confess his love, an assassin does a drive-by on the house, wounding Shane. We’d prefer shooting skeet on Nancy’s nippeloons!

56 - A Modest Proposal - 07/13/2009

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) is still alive thanks to Esteban’s (Demián Bichir) baby, which is six months along. As they hang out at the Kingpin’s place in Tijuana, Esteban pops the question and Nancy seems pretty happy to say yes. When Andy (Justin Kirk) hears about the engagement he is depressed and disappointed that Nancy is choosing Esteban over him.

Shane (Alexander Gould) has a temporary father figure in the form of Ignacio (Hemky Madera), Nancy’s latest bodyguard. He helps Shane starts a drug dealing business in his school and helps him get his pot back after a teacher steals it.

Police Chief Jones (Larry Joe Campbell), who has been taking payoffs from Doug and Andy, demands more money and is stunting sales by constantly hanging around in his uniform. When Doug confronts him the argument gets physical and Doug beats him senseless.

Nancy’s engagement doesn’t last too long as Esteban finds out that his white fiancé is making the locals distrust him. We almost get a glance of Nancy’s pregger pokers in the shower but the steam obscures the view. That’s one steaming hot box!

50 - If You Work for a Living, Why Do You Kill Yourself Working? - 09/15/2008

When Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) finds out that Esteban (Demián Bichir) is using the underground tunnel to smuggle heroin and women as well as weed, her conscience gets the better of her and she turns informant to the DEA. Esteban immediately finds out but when he confronts Nancy about it, she has an ace in the hole: she’s pregnant with his baby.

As part of her 12 steps, Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) meets up with her daughter Quinn (Haley Hudson), who she sent to reform school in Mexico in the first season. As they sip tea with her boyfriend Rudolfo (Kevin Alejandro), Celia starts to feel woozy and Quinn reveals she has drugged her mother and will be demanding ransom.

Doug (Kevin Nealon) is in love with illegal alien Maria, but when she sleeps with Andy (Justin Kirk) instead of him, he calls the INS to have her deported. With a new wedge driven between them, Doug and Andy fight about unrequited love until Doug accuses him of being in love with Nancy. Why else would he put up with her for so long?

Andy hashes out their issues while Nancy lounges nude in the tub, her perky puffies keeping the water super hot.  Those buds are smoking!

45 - I Am the Table - 08/04/2008

Doug (Kevin Nealon) and Andy’s (Justin Kirk) coyote business plan hits a snag when they discover the border is being patrolled by minutemen. There’s only one solution; to join the group themselves. Doug infiltrates the minuteman as Andy manages to sneak their first group across. Unfortunately, they are so caught up in their success that they forget to get paid. Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) is working in the shop that serves as Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) front, and passing the long hours by speeding on the local drugs.

Nancy meets with Esteban (Demián Bichir) again, and he is so taken with the green goddess that he lets all his compatriots know that she is under his protection. As they have lunch in a local restaurant the place gets shot up, the work of one of Esteban's many enemies. They head back to his place to see his pet lion, then he shows Nancy his pet trouser snake. Nancy brings out her ripe raspberry ripples as Esteban packs her bowl. That’ll have your joint blazing!

44 - Yes I Can - 07/28/2008

The Botwin family has relocated south near the Tijuana border after a fire destroyed their previous home. Andy (Justin Kirk) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) have come as well to escape their history in Agrestic.

Doug and Andy decide to get into to the human-smuggling business helping illegal immigrants cross the border. Silas (Hunter Parrish) is in charge of the new grow room, which is in the back of their neighbor Lisa’s (Julie Bowen) cheese shop. He also starts playing house in a more intimate way by banging her on the down low.

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) meets with the Mayor of Tijuana/head smuggler Esteban Reyes (Demián Bichir) to try and convince him to let her deal on his turf. He thinks her naughty attitude can only be righted with one thing...spanking! He flips her over in his limo to deliver the punishment to her panty-clad culo. You’ll want to bogart that booty!

35 - Risk - 11/05/2007

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and Conrad (Romany Malco) are back to hooking up and they have a new place to do it- Celia’s house. Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) has given them the place as a new grow house to get revenge on Sullivan (Matthew Modine) for cheating on her with Nancy. That, and she goes to his office and smashes the whole place up with a baseball bat.

Shane (Alexander Gould) keeps talking to himself, and Nancy later finds out he believes he is talking to his dead father.

Nancy gets a new tattoo of a u-turn signal in the memory of her tough guy mentor U-Turn. She shows it and her cute can off to Conrad in the bedroom. You’ll want to get those buns sticky icky!

30 - The Two Mrs. Scottsons - 10/01/2007

Peter’s (Martin Donovan) body is discovered in a drainage ditch but it doesn’t seem like there will be any repercussions for Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker). She attends his funeral but keeps her distance.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) is making more money than his mother selling weed, a fact that Nancy can’t believe. He’s working with evangelical Christian Tara Lindman (Mary-Kate Olsen) who justifies her pot smoking by saying that “God made weed”.

Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) gauges her scarred boobies and bountiful furburgerage in the mirror after cancer forced her to get replacements. We say the new model is an upgrade!

Andy’s (Justin Kirk) mauled foot finally does him some good when he gets to be in his own porno starring his amputated toes. Jessica Jaymes gets a footjob from Andy while showing full frontal bean and beautiful bolt-on bazongas.  That homegrown bush will give you the munchies!

29 - He Taught Me How To Drive By - 09/24/2007

U-turn (Page Kennedy) is dead after pissing off his cousin Marvin (Fatso-Fasano) one too many times. Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and crew head to his funeral where Nancy eulogizes by saying he taught her how to drive-by. Marvin’s in charge now but can’t manage to oust the Mexican drug cartel lead by Guillermo (Guillermo Díaz). Nancy returns the heroin that U-turn stole from Guillermo, which appeases him for now, but he tells her she cannot deal in his town.

City developer Sullivan Groff (Matthew Modine) is Nancy’s boss at her “real job,” and his constant sexual advances towards her are finally rewarded with a diddle on his desk at work. We get to see Nancy in her knickers as she gives Sullivan a crack at her.  

Sullivan has also gotten Andy (Justin Kirk) a job working as an assistant on a porn shoot starring Lexington Steel, Kristen Price, and Jessica Jaymes. The ladies take a break from humping to sample Andy’s lunch buffet, both showing outstanding full mams and muffin. Meanwhile Andy is probably thinking about putting some schmear on their bagels. Their perfect pornstar pokers are still on display as they get back to the action in a three-way scene that quickly ends when Andy’s food sends Lexington Steel running to the bathroom. Here’s hoping Andy gets two pink slips!

24 - A Pool and His Money - 08/20/2007

After Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) finds Silas (Hunter Parrish) with a trunk full of Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) weed, she makes the decision to get rid of it by dumping it all in her pool. U-turn (Page Kennedy) wants either the weed or the money and Heylia (Tonye Patano) comes to Conrad’s (Romany Malco) rescue with her rainy-day fund. Nancy is still out of luck and U-turn is not leaving until he gets his money.

Andy (Justin Kirk) brings home Shane (Alexander Gould) from his aborted road trip with crazy Kat (Zooey Deschanel) and Silas from the police station.When they arrive they try to deal with Nancy, who is freaking out and all out of options. As everyone watches she takes off her clothes and sinks into the pool in her bra and panties.  Those floaties will have your hand bobbing!

22 - Pittsburgh - 10/30/2006

At Shane’s (Alexander Gould) graduation party, Dean (Andy Milder) and Doug (Kevin Nealon) fight it out over Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) while she takes the opportunity to come onto Andy.

Peter (Martin Donovan) confronts Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) and Conrad (Romany Malco) at the grow house and accuses them of porking behind his back the entire time they were married. He’s not too far off on that assumption. Peter heads outside to let them meet with possible buyer U-turn (Page Kennedy) while he gathers the evidence. The deal with U-turn quickly goes sour and he pulls out his guns while Peter gets popped off by the Armenian mafia who were sent by Heylia (Tonye Patano) to kill him. As the Armenians and U-turn argue over who will be taking Nancy’s entire crop, a phone call from Silas reveals that he has already taken the weed in an attempt to force his mother into a partnership.

Nancy has to open her shirt to prove she is not wearing a wire, showing off her nectarous niblets encased in a black bra.  That’ll have you firing up your fatty!

20 - Mile Deep and A Foot Wide - 10/16/2006

Andy’s (Justin Kirk) ex Kat (Zooey Deschanel) tracks him down and wants him to sign off on a book she’s writing about their wild times in Alaska. She also wants to relive their legendary lovemaking in her van. When the van’s a-rockin' don’t come a-knockin', right fellas?

Heylia’s (Tonye Patano) operation gets raided and she tells Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) that unless Peter (Martin Donovan) leaves her alone she is going to make a lot of trouble.

Nancy sits on her bed, barely covered in lacy lingerie, after a disastrous dinner with Peter. She calls Conrad (Romany Malco) and tells him that she will never love Peter but must keep him happy because he is so useful. Unbeknownst to her, Peter is still sitting outside her house listening in with surveillance equipment.

Doug (Kevin Nealon) and Celia’s (Elizabeth Perkins) rivalry comes to a head and they work out their differences by burying Doug’s bone. Celia does all the work on top of lucky Doug, her choice cleavage unfortunately concealed by a nightie. Hopefully he is a gateway Doug into more licentious lovin!

17 - Must Find Toes - 09/25/2006

When the weed team finds a stray dog running around after the raid, they decide to take him in. Unfortunately the dog is not too grateful and bites two of Andy’s (Justin Kirk) toes off, landing him in the hospital hopped up on morphine.

Celia (Elizabeth Perkins) finds a way to have Doug’s (Kevin Nealon) name removed from the ballot just in time for her to win the City Council race against him. As elected official, she plans to make the city a drug-free zone.

Andy gets TLC and T&A from Yael (Meital Dohan) in the wake of his injury. As she gets out of bed with him we get a glance at her gorgeous ganoobies. That will puff your magic dragon!

16 - Crush Girl Love Panic - 09/18/2006

Nancy’s (Mary-Louise Parker) DEA agent boyfriend Peter (Martin Donovan) has arranged for every grow house in the neighborhood to be raided- except for hers. Unfortunately Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy) and Andy (Justin Kirk) freak out at the sight of flashing lights and sirens and try to flush whole weed plants down the toilet. Nancy finds them hiding in the closet the next day, with everything trashed except for the mother plant.

Conrad (Romany Malco) is suspicious that they were not hit in the raid and confronts Nancy about her secret services from Peter. Nancy has to confess that she and Peter got secretly married, so that if she ever gets in trouble he cannot be forced to testify against her.

Silas (Hunter Parrish) is dealing with the aftermath of his girlfriend having an abortion and his mom dealing drugs, so Nancy agrees to buy him a car to cheer him up.

Israeli Yael (Meital Dohan) wants to make Andy yell, by strapping on the big gun while wearing skimpy skivvies. Her body is so slammin' you’ll want to drop the soap!

13 - Last Tango In Agrestic - 08/28/2006

DEA Agent Peter Scottson (Martin Donovan) knows Nancy is a drug dealer, but he is much more interested in banging her than busting her.

Andy (Justin Kirk) is in school to become a rabbi, but is distracted from his studies by the schools’ hot Director Yael (Meital Dohan). Since Shane (Alexander Gould) is hitting puberty, Nancy convinces Andy to give him the birds and the bees talk, a talk that quickly devolves into tips on hiding his constant tadpole rodeo.

Silas’s (Hunter Parrish) girlfriend Megan (Shoshannah Stern) is accepted into Princeton, but he is not nearly brainy enough to attend the Ivy League school as well. So the couple decides to make the most of their time left together by banging as much as possible, leading mesmerizing Megan to show off her sweet stacks while slamming with Silas. That college cutie will have you boning up your studies!

7 - Higher Education - 09/19/2005

Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) heads to the local college to find a tutor for Silas (Hunter Parrish), but when she sees how much weed the students are going through, she decides it’s a great money-making opportunity. Silas’s new tutor Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy) is great at math and hard up for money. When Nancy offers him a chance to be her middle man, selling weed on campus, he reluctantly agrees and the orders start pouring in.

Shane (Alexander Gould) makes a new friend and Andy hits the jackpot when his hot mom Eileen (Clare Carey) comes to pick him up. She’s having a trial separation from her husband which quickly turns into a joining with Andy. While the kids plays video games in the next room, Andy gives Eileen his joystick and she shows him her marvelous milk mounds. Come on Eileen!

6 - Dead in the Nethers - 09/12/2005

To support her family after her husband’s death, Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker) has set up a sham bakery that sells weed-laced pastries. It also serves as a convenient front to launder her drug money. After a sexy dream about her late husband, Nancy stays in bed for some she-bop but is unable to get off.

Her neighbor Celia Hodes (Elizabeth Perkins) has breast cancer and is scheduled for a mastectomy, so when she meets Nancy’s drug supplier Conrad (Romany Malco) she decides to get one last use out of her boobies by banging him in the back of his truck.

Nancy’s maid Lupita (Renee Victor) is suspicious of the cash flow, and when she discovers a pillowcase filled with weed she demands a raise to keep quiet about it.

Andy (Justin Kirk) meets stunner Sharon (Brooke Langton) at Marijuana Anonymous and convinces her to be his sponsor. He gets into her house and pants by feigning a possible relapse. While she rides Andy reverse cowgirl she shows a quick flash of her dainty diamond cutter. That’ll have you polishing your family jewels!