War of the Worlds

In this loose adaptation of the 1953 sci-fi classic War of the Worlds, humans must once more battle alien invaders after the aliens from the 1953 invasion are brought out of suspended animation when a dose of radiation kills the bacteria that originally infected them. The aliens launch a genocidal war against Earth, using their new-found ability to take over human bodies. Dr. Harrison Blackwood (Jared Martin) teams up with microbiologist Suzanne McCullough (Lynda Mason Greene), computer programmer Norton Drake (Phillip Akin), and army Lt. Colonel Paul Ironhorse (Richard Traves) to save the world from this alien menace. Did we mention this was a loose adaptation? We’re talking looser than a Tijuana whore with a fifth of Cuervo in her after she just finished headlining the Donkey Show. The acting was bad (especially Jared Martin--Lord, what a stiff), the special effects were cheap, and the story was dull and meandering. Even in 1988, these effects still couldn’t compete with those in the 1953 feature, and the show was incapable of relating the scope of a full-scale alien invasion with such a small cast and budget. While the blindingly beautiful blonde co-star Rachel Blanchard has yet to commit the ultimate skin, she gave us a wankworthy gander of her in a bikini and Princess Leia hairdo in the TV series Clueless.