Well beam me up, Scotty, because I'm totally flying saucer-eyed right now!

Thank you, thank you, we'll be here all week.

OK, let's back up for a minute. National Topless Day is the brainchild of Rael, a former journalist and racecar driver who says aliens apeared to him on a hilltop on France in 1974 and told him that all life on Earth was created by extraterrestrials. Rael also claims the aliens told him that it was his divine mission to fight injustice- specifically, the skinjustice of men being allowed to doff their tops in public while women's watermelons must remain covered. Whatever you say, fella.

In 2007, the space cult leader started www.go-topless.org, a site dedicated to rallying womankind to "FREE YOUR BREASTS! FREE YOUR MIND!"Believe it or not, there are women who have joined the cause, organizing topless marches and petitioning lawmakers to change the laws and make their states and cities officially "Top Free" (they've already succeeded in converting Columbus, Ohio, Portland, Oregon, Washington, DC and Austin, Texas, among other cities ).

They're planning a "Historical Boob March" on Washington (their words, not ours) on August 26, 2012, but in the meantime topless advocates must content themselves with marching in boob-friendly locales each year on National Topless Day. (In uh, "top slave" locales like Los Angeles, protestors glue fake nipples over their own in order to prove a point. The point being that they also saw The Change-Up).

This past Sunday the Raelians and their compatriots gathered to celebrate their annual festival of funbags, and you bet there were photographers there to document the liberated love muffins:





We may have missed America's National Topless Day, but our neighbors to the North still have the opportunity to ogle- er, show support for- the topless activists on August 28, 2011 for Canada National Go Topless Day in Vancouver and Toronto. And don't forget to mark your calendars for the Topless March on Washington August 26, 2012!