Too Hot to Handle (1977)

Cheri Caffaro is Too Hot to Handle (1976), but we'd sure love to try! Cheri plays globetrotting assassin Samantha Fox (no relation to the ’70s hardcore porn star or ’80s Page 3 pop tart), a rich girl from the upper classes of society who gets her kicks taking out bad dudes in extremely violent ways. Samantha infiltrates the Philippines on a mission to murder five deadly crime kingpins, but things get complicated when Detective Domingo De La Torres (Aharon Ipale) starts investigating her connections to all the killing. They get even more complicated when the two start to screw! From kung fu battles in bellbottoms to some poorly aged, racially insensitive disguises, this one's seventies to the core! But it's still very watchable! Along the way to sending the quintet of villains to their eternal slumber, our hedonistic, hell-bent heroine blasts the bad guys' henchmen, bangs her boyfriend a few times, and sunbathes nude in between bouts of killer action. Cheri, who once won a Brigitte Bardot lookalike contest, flashes a ton of B's in this flick, which was actually directed by her husband Don Schain. No lie, Don would move to Utah and go on to serve as a producer on High School Musical (2006), but we wish he kept producing sexy shots of his wife like the one where Cheri lounges completely naked on a yacht! Or maybe the one where she shows all three B's in bed with a man before hopping on top and letting him rub her jugs, or the one with her showing her tits as a dastardly dominatrix whipping a man into submission. One look at Caffaro's cans in Too Hot to Handle and you'll be shooting a hot load into your hand! The T&A flicks these days don't hold a candle to Too Hot to Handle!