Blog Posts about Cyborg 2

People are always anxious about what the future will bring, but after seeing this video from internet crap-mongers Everything is Terrible!, we now know the future's going to be just as stupid as the present. Fast-forward to 1 minute, 11 seconds in for the good part:




(Future-boobs courtesy of Cheryl Clifford in the VHS-era turdfest Absolute Aggression (1996).)

Skincidentally, "hacking the mainframe" is now our new favorite term for a flesh session.

That got us thinking- even in a dystopian future society, where gas is worth its weight in gold and evil corporations control our every thought and action via microchips in our brains, there MUST still be mammage, right? If not, why bother wearing that tinfoil helmet?

More after the jump!

The Rolling Stones said it best: "Angie/Angie/Ain't it good to be alive?" It certainly is when you reside on the same planet as luscious-lipped love goddess Angelina Jolie. From her early days as a knife-and-sex-obsessed bisexual ingenue to her more recent incarnation as mother and ambassador, Ange is the undisputed queen of Hollywood, the holy grail of hotties, and sex incarnate. Her newest action flick, Salt, comes out on the 23rd, so let's celebrate by counting down the breast nude scenes of her career. She's got our Voight!

With her butt-baring performance in Wanted, skinsational superstar Angelina Jolie has brought the number of films in which she's flashed flesh up to twelve, a spanker's dozen. Here they are, in order.

Cyborg 2 (1993)

Angelina's a sexy android who shows her pneumatic knockers. Nice robo-rack!

Hackers (1995)

As a computer expert, a crop-topped Angelina goes topless, taking the action from keystrokes to breast strokes!

Foxfire (1996)

This skinstant classic has our girl playing a rebellious teen who enjoys getting topless with her girlfriends by candlelight before tattooing them.

Mojave Moon (1996)

In this romantic comedy, Angelina gives us all something to howl about when she shows off both of her full moons in a shower scene.

Gia (1998)

In her mst skin-tillating performance to date, Ms. Jolie bares her boobs and butt and gets into an undeniably boner-inducing lesbian clinch with incredibly hot blonde Elizabeth Mitchell.

Hell's Kitchen (1998)

Before Gordon Ramsay's reality show of the same name, Angelina's Gordon Mamsays came out in a brief moment of accidental nudity that is the highlight of this gritty drama.

Pushing Tin (1999)

This comedy will have you laughing all the way to the sperm bank after you see Angelina's topless twosome in a post-sex scene with John Cusack. Unfortunately, we don't get to see her gushing quim.

Original Sin (2001)

Angelina plays a mail-order bride whose undressed udders share screen time with the bare butt of Antonio Banderas.

Beyond Borders (2003)

In the movie that got her started on her humanitarian efforts, Angelina does the humane thing by briefly baring one bosom during a sex scene.

Taking Lives (2004)

Here Ms. Jolie plays a G-Man who gives us a glimpse at her G-spot as a man pulls up her skirt. We also get ample angles of Angelina's abundant apples.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

In the movie that gave birth to "Brangelina," our girl has yet another nip slip. Maybe somebody's bribing the wardrobe department.

And that brings us up to Angelina's latest effort. Thanks Angelina, for twelve nude scenes in fifteen years. But let's pick up the pace a little, shall we?

If ever one single body part could embody someone's entire personality, it would be the storied lips of Angelina Jolie. Impossibly puffy, pouty, and pink, those infamous, sensuous smackers perfectly personify the sweltering seductress that lies beyond the parted pair. Those lips have come to symbolize female sensuality-like a siren's song, they reduce all men and most women to quivering, helpless piles of lust.