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The Weight of Water

The Weight of Water (2000)

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Review

Oscar winner Kathryn Bigelow's The Weight of Water (2000) is two movies for the price of one. The story in present time concerns Jean Janes (Catherine McCormack), a photographer/journalist investigating a 19th century double axe murder off the coast of New Hampshire. She and her poet husband, Thomas (Sean Penn), take a combination working trip and vacation sailing on his brother Rich's (Josh Lucas) boat. Thomas wants to dip his quill in his brother's girlfriend, played seductively by Elizabeth Hurley, both because she's a fawning fan of his poetry and because she looks like Elizabeth Hurley. Meanwhile, way back in the past Maren (Sarah Polley) is so jealous of her brother's (Anders W. Berthelsen) hot new wife (Vinessa Shaw) that she starts to want to do the deed with her, too. Once she gives in to her urges and starts doing husband stuff with her brother's wife, the whole thing leads to murder and a trial that just might have hung the wrong dude. Obviously there are parallels between the two tales, but when it comes to nudity there's a huge gap in scenes to which you can fap. In the 1800's narrative, we get a look at Sarah Polley getting a sexy girl on girl back rub. All we get is her bare back, but back in those days you'd rub one out to an exposed ankle, so we'll take what we can get. As a sexy nerd, Catherine McCormack doesn't show rack either, but we do see her getting it on in the library. The problem is the hardcovers keep us from getting hard to her nudity, since they block our view. But the reason this drama was so great is because of Elizabeth Hurley's skintrobutions. She spends her time on the yacht sunbathing topless, without hiding a thing from Sean Penn. And when the wind blows some papers around, Elizabeth doesn't hesitate to hop up and help grab some, which allows us a great view of her mounds. Good luck solving an old cold case with those things bouncing in your face! Elizabeth Hurley has never been hotter than she was in The Weight of Water!