The Serpent’s Kiss (1997) is rated R, but for brief language. We thought that couldn’t be right, there had to be some nudity in this flick, but we were wrong. There’s none. We won’t blame you if you click off this page immediately, after learning that sad news. The plot takes place in 1799, and it follows the exploits of a young Dutch architect who comes to the house of a wealthy English couple to design them a new garden. Are you still awake? Sure, the house is filled with secrets. Ooh. It’s also filled with Greta Scacchi, but she never gets nude. Boo!