The Love Boat: The Next Wave

Ten years after the original Love Boat went into drydock, the refitted Pacific Princess hit the water again in Love Boat: The Next Wave. In this incarnation of the ship where everyone gets laid, ex navy Commander Jim Kennedy (Robert Urich) took over as captain, taking his teenage son along for the ride. Can you imagine how much tail that kid could get? “Yeah, that’s right, I live on the ship. My old man’s the captain. You wanna check out the crow’s nest?” Alas, the show did not enjoy the longevity of its predecessor, and after wrapping up its second season, it was permanently mothballed. Speaking of mothballs, Next Wave co-star and blonde brick shithouse Heidi Mark showed us her massive, silky Sherman tanks in Red Shoe Diaries: Luscious Lola. Also Stacey Travis, who played Cruise Director Suzanne Zimmerman, gave us a tasty tease of her manganese in Hardware and Dracula Rising. However, raven-haired goddess Joan Severance has given us the Holy Grail of celebrity skin in a shipload of movies. This gorgeous brunette with a rock-hard physique and downy-firm dumplings to match gave us an early taste of her satin sweetness in Black Scorpion--a stupid superhero B-movie with a fantastic black leather superhero costume for Joan. She also dented a Cadillac hood with a stint of car sex in Payback and got untrussed on The Red Shoe Diaries. However, the Fort Knox of Severance skin can be found in Lake Consequence. Her gazelles have never looked firmer or fuller, and she is naked in a variety of circumstances--including getting her nipples tongue-tickled in a hot bit of girl-on-girl totty. Oh Joan, you truly are a creature of the devil. Where do we line up to sell our souls?