(Illustration by Jim Cooke)
By now, it's possible you have heard there are eight distinct kinds of nipples. It is far more possible that years of experience/porn watching/Mr. Skin perusing gave you the vague notion that women have all sort of different nips going on. Either way, the fun part is this: They all have names! I now play this fun new game at work where I try to identify the actress's nip type when I come across new scenes and photos. I haven't started rewarding myself for quick identification, but I do have a drawer full of booze. I'm just saying.
Anyway, a picture is worth a thousand words, so consider this my lesson of the day. Here is a brief recap of each nipple category and a star who has them:
1. Normal: Amber Heard
Normal nipples are considered to be, well, normal. The nipple itself (vs. the areola) protrudes a bit
2. Flat: Eva Green
The line between flat nipples and puffy nipples can be a fine one, but the gist is this: flat nipples stay pretty close to the body, while puffy nipples are much more raised. Which category do you think Eva Green fits into?
3. Puffy: Olivia Pascal
Enough said.
4. Long: Milla Jovovich
Long nips are . . . long.
5. Short: Anne Hathaway
These are similar to normal nips, but have a more cylindrical shape (vs. a pyramid one). Either way, they are raised a bit.
6-8. Inverted Grades 1-3: Neve Campbell, Serena, Mikio Ohno
Here's the thing with inverted nipples: They are, quite obviously, inverted instead of protruded, but there are three grades based on how much.
It's hard to tell just by looking at them (it's all about what's going on inside), but I put a variety of them here for you to look upon. And also to keep the number at eight.
What do you guys think? Disagree with any of those classifications or have a star you think should represent it instead?
