The Borgias is the newest in Showtime’s series of “updated” (read: violent and sexy) historical dramas. The real-life Borgias ruled Rome during the Renaissance; patriarch Rodrigo Borgia (Jeremy Irons), aka Pope Alexander VI, is skinfamous for not taking the whole “vow of chastity” thing very seriously, attending orgies and bedding a boatload of women while wearing the pointy Pope hat. 500 years later,… Become a Mr Skin Member and get the full review
|Emmanuelle Chriqui as Sancia||Nude||butt||1||5|
|Naomi Cooper-Davis as Prostitute|
|Ruta Gedmintas as Ursula Bonadeo||Nude||breasts||1||1|
|Holliday Grainger as Lucrezia Borgia||Nude||breasts, butt||5||18|
|Melia Kreiling as Bianca Gonzaga||Nude||breasts||1||3|
|Lotte Verbeek as Giulia Farnese||Nude||breasts, butt||1||5|
|Jemima West as Vittoria||Nude||breasts, butt||2||4|
|Joanne Whalley as Vanozza|
|Kellie Blaise as Bernadetta||Nude||breasts, butt||2||5|
|Montserrat Lombard as Maria||Nude||breasts||1||2|
|Gina McKee as Caterina Sforza||Nude||breasts, bush||1||6|
Episode: "Death on a Pale Horse" (May 8th, 2011)
Episode: "The French King" (May 1st, 2011)
Episode: "Lucrezia's Wedding" (Apr 17th, 2011)
Episode: "The Purge" (Apr 21st, 2013)
Episode: "The Banquet of Chestnuts" (May 5th, 2013)
Episode: "The Borgia Bull" (Apr 8th, 2012)
Episode: "The Assassin" (Apr 3rd, 2011)
Episode: "The Borgia Bull" (Apr 8th, 2012)
Episode: "The Beautiful Deception" (Apr 22nd, 2012)
Episode: "The Beautiful Deception" (Apr 22nd, 2012)
Episode: "The Assassin" (Apr 3rd, 2011)
Episode: "The Siege at Forli" (May 20th, 2012)
We open on Rodrigo (Jeremy Irons) appointing a new cardinal (Cyron Melville), the brother of Giulia Farnese (Lotte Verbeek). Rodrigo appears to be completely oblivious to the relationship between Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger) and Cesare (François Arnaud), asking her how married life is suiting her. It isn't long before Ferdinand (Matias Varela) informs Rodrigo that Lucrezia and Alfonso (Sebastian De Souza) have yet to consummate their marriage.
Ferdinand demands proof that they have consummated their relationship, and Lucrezia begs Cesare to be the one to watch them do so. Cesare begs her to forget about him and put their relationship behind her so she can enjoy her married life with her husband. Finally it is agreed that Ferdinand and Cesare will both watch the consummation, and we get to see Lucrezia's tush which looks positively lovely. She also maintains eye contact with Cesare the whole time to ensure she climaxes! Titillating!
Rodrigo (Jeremy Irons) is laying into Cesare (François Arnaud) for letting Della Rovere (Colm Feore) escape as the episode begins. Rodrigo reveals that he has lost faith not just in everyone, but also in God as a result of what's transpired. Caterina (Gina McKee) is moving forward on her plan to unite several different warring families in a plan to destroy the Borgias once and for all. Leading the charge is her cousin, known only as The Black Heart. Rodrigo is well aware of Caterina's plan, however, and implores Cesare to go and reason with the Cardinals of the other families to come to their senses.
Meanwhile, Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger) receives word that King Ferdinand has questioned the legitimacy of her child. Hoping that Cesare can resolve this issue, Lucrezia asks him to go and reason with Ferdinand, and when he arrives to have the conversation with Lucrezia, he's embarrassed to find her laying nude on her bed! We're not embarrassed at all though, as her ta-tas and tush look terrific!
Juan (David Oakes) returns from Spain with an army of conquistadors led by Don Hernando (Robert Cavanah), and Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) immediately sends them to attack Catherina Sforza’s (Gina McKee) castle. The Pope also has plans for his daughter, Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger), as he is attempting to force her into marriage with a rich Genovese merchant Calvino (David Alpay). Lucrezia is none to happy to be sold into marriage again, and attempts to disrupt the match by purposefully flirting with Calvino’s young brother, Raffaello (Tom Austen).
In Florence, Cesare (François Arnaud) and Machiavelli (Julian Bleach) watch as Savonarola’s followers take control of the city, culminating with the destruction of art and luxury items in the “Bonfire of the Vanities”.
Juan arrives in Forli to attack Catherina Sforza’s castle, but the battle is evenly matched and he is unable to gain the upper hand. He gets a break when he manages to kidnap Catherina’s son, Benito (Noah Silver), and threatens to kill him outside the castle walls unless she surrenders. Catherine stands on top of the wall and pulls up her skirt to reveal her fiery red bush and announce that she can have more sons if they kill this one. Now that was a rousing speech!
Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) is back on top but still needs to deal with his remaining detractors, most notably the Dominican Friar Savonarola (Steven Berkoff) and the noblewoman Caterina Sforza (Gina McKee). He sends his son, Cesare (François Arnaud), to visit Caterina at her castle while the Pope himself rides to Florence to hear one of Savonarola's sermons in secret.
Cardinal Della Rovere (Colm Feore) has traveled to Florence as well seeking Savonarola's blessing on an assassination attempt against Alexander. Meanwhile the rich families of the region are worried about their fortunes since Savonarola's anti-wealth sermons are stirring up the passions of the poor people. Later when the Pope is delivering communion, a bolt of lighting hits Saint Peter’s causing the roof to collapse and Alexander takes it as a sign from God.
At the Sforza castle, Cesare fails to get Caterina to pledge her allegiance to the Pope, but he does get a good look at her coloss-see-ums. She seduces him in her bedchamber, but afterwards refuses to sign the oath to his father. In his anger Cesare kills her cousin Giovanni Sforza (Ronan Vibert) because of his cruelty to Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger) during their brief marriage. Guess that’s the last time she’ll welcome a guest with open legs!
Lucrezia’s (Holliday Grainger) lover Paolo (Luke Pasqualino) is found dead with suicide note on him, but Lucrezia knows that he was murdered because he could not read or write. Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) refuses to give him a proper burial since suicides all go to hell, but changes his mind when Lucrezia refuses to eat or feed her infant son.
King Charles (Michel Muller) leaves Naples to get revenge on the Borgias by sacking Rome and gathers his army to attack. Alexander commissions Cesare (François Arnaud) to build 100 cannons to defend the city, but the plan must be scrapped when they learn it will take a month to build one cannon. Cesare meanwhile creates cannons from plaster painted to look like the genuine article, and when King Charles arrives at the city gates he is forced to retreat from the display of what he believes are real cannons.
When Lucrezia realizes that Juan (David Oakes) is responsible for Paolo’s death she sets out to get revenge by leaving a candle under the rope holding a chandelier above Juan’s bed in place. He brings his beautiful mistress Bernadetta (Kellie Blaise) back to his rooms and unveils her left love muffin as they look at paintings then we see her ravishing rump as they hump in bed. Unfortunately the chandelier soon falls on the pair and crushes his perky paramour, but by then we’ve already seen all the good stuff anyway.
Paolo (Luke Pasqualino), the stable hand that knocked up Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger), heads to Rome to see his lady love and child. He finds Lucrezia at a fountain near the Vatican but if rebuffed by her brother, Juan (David Oakes), who sees him as a beggar. Lucrezia later confesses her affection for Paolo to Cesare (François Arnaud), and he arranges for them to spend one night together at her mother’s home. The lovers are reunited and we feel pretty good too because Lucrezia’s luscious lickers make an appearance as she rides her man.
Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) discusses the Vatican’s depleted finances with Cardinal Sforza (Peter Sullivan) and learns that the common people are starving. He commissions the apprentice Vittoria (Jemima West), to lead him on a tour of the city in disguise and is appalled to see people sleeping in the streets and death everywhere. Once back in the Vatican he asks his mistress, Giulia (Lotte Varbeek), to investigate the disappearance of the alms that should be going to the poor, while giving himself the task of ridding the city of the pigeon infestation.
Guilia cements her position as best mistress ever by setting up a gleesome threesome for the Pope with lady in disguise Vittoria. The morning after Vittoria takes the walk of shame out of the Pope’s chambers showing off her perky posterior as she leaves. The Borgias will make you engorgia-d!
With King Charles (Michel Muller) placated with a blessed kingship of Naples, Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) is back on track to increasing his own power. He also has time to spend with his daughter, Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger), who has returned to the Vatican after her failed marriage and the birth of her first baby.
Cesare (François Arnaud) attempts to kill his family’s enemy Cardinal della Rovere (Colm Feore) by hiring an assassin, but the plot fails when the would be killer spills some of the poison. Meanwhile Cesare’s jealousy at Juan (David Oakes) being assigned command of the papal armies comes to a head, and the brothers fight openly in the streets.
The Pope’s roving eye catches on a new woman, Bianca (Melia Kreiling), while his mistress, Guilia (Lotte Verbeek), is out of town, and he is still bathing her moist mams in a tub when Gulia returns. But one extra mistress is much too little when you’re the most powerful man in the world, and Alexander uses his divine senses to figure out that one of the painting apprentices in the Vatican, Vittorio (Jemima West), is actually a woman in disguise. When Guilia discovers that Vittorio is actually Vittoria, she tries to assert her dominance by feeling up the painter’s petite peaks in the Vatican's art gallery. That art will have you working your part!
The French army, backed by the Medici family and Cardinal Della Rovere (Colm Feore), invades Italy and begins sacking the bordering cities. The republic offers to discuss terms of surrender with the French king, but he declines to hear them and allows the pillaging to continue. Concerned that Italy will be completely decimated, Della Rovere gets the go ahead to return to Florence and negotiate larger terms of surrender including free passage for the army and hostages from each noble family.
Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) gathers the papal armies under Juan’s command, and Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger) discovers that her husband, Giovanni (Ronan Vibert), will not be backing the Borgias in the fight. Cesare (François Arnaud) visits the nunnery that Ursula (Ruta Gedmintas) has been confined to and finds out that she is devoted to her new life and declares Jesus as her only love.
Meanwhile in Rome, Juan (David Oakes) continues to play hide the Roman candle with his brother’s wife, Sancia (Emmannuelle Chriqui), as Gioffre (Aidan Alexander) plays like a child outside. We get a quick look at some supple side-boob and then a glance at her glorious glutes through sheer curtains as they roll around in bed. When in Rome, do the ro-mam-s!
Pope Alexander (Jeremy Irons) discovers that Cardinal Della Rovere (Colm Feore) is seeking to form an alliance with France's King Charles in order to take over the papal throne. Alexander attempts to thwart the invasion by making a strong alliance with Naples and the royal family there. He proposes a marriage between his preteen son, Gioffre (Aidan Alexander), and the Princess Sancia of Naples (Emmannuelle Chriqui). Juan (David Oakes) travels to Naples to seal the arrangement but is surprised by Sancia’s beauty and free-spirited nature, and when they are alone he shows the blushing bride his own wedding tackle.
Lucrezia’s (Holliday Grainger) husband Lord Sforza (Ronan Vibert) is stuck in bed after being thrown from his horse, which gives Lucrezia plenty of time to cavort with his groomsman, Paolo (Luke Pasqualino). Meanwhile Cesare is hooking up with a lady of his own, the married Baroness Ursula Bonadeo (Ruta Gedmintas). Ursula’s dewy right dangler is briefly exposed to the light as they get down and dirty beside a roaring fireplace. She’ll catch your wood on fire!
Alexander’s (Jeremy Irons) funds have been depleted by his rise to power and he seeks to regain them through a profitable marriage for his daughter, Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger). The pope's choice for her husband is the Duke of Milan, Giovanni Sforza (Ronan Vibert), but he must first arrange for a large dowry to be paid. The families eventually come to an agreement, but Lucrezia’s mother Vanozza (Joanne Whalley) is forbidden to attend the wedding due to her sordid past.
Cardinal Della Rovere (Colm Feore) is still upset that Alexander was chosen for the papacy instead of him and travels to Florence to gain support. He meets with the powerful Medici family and their adviser Machiavelli (Julian Bleach) to discuss plans for deposing the pope.
Lucrezia gets married to Giovanni Sforza in a lavish ceremony and everyone is pleased except for her brother Cesare (François Arnaud), who is unusually attached to his sister. The bash is followed up by wild drunken reception in which Juan (David Oakes) dedicates an inappropriately bawdy play to his sister, and Cesare brazenly flirts with a married baroness. Giovanni takes out his embarrassment at her brother's behavior on Lucrezia in the bedroom by ripping open her gown to bare her perfect right roundie. That creamy cupcake will have you ripping off your clothes too!
Power hungry Cardinal Rodrigo Borgia (Jeremy Irons) has been elected as Pope Alexander VI and he is wasting no time installing his family into positions of power. He appoints his son, Cesare (François Arnaud) as the Cardinal of Valencia, his other son Juan (David Oakes) as head of the papal armies, and is arranging a politically advantageous marriage for his daughter Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger).
The new Pope has many powerful enemies like Cardinal Orsino Orsini (Derek Jacobi) who had publicly accused him of buying his way into the papal seat. Alexander and Cesare attend a banquet at Orsini’s palace in an attempt to smooth things over, but bring a pet monkey along to test the food for poison before they eat. Speaking of monkeys you’ll be spanking yours when you see the feather dusters of Orsini’s favorite servant, Maria (Montserrat Lombard), who is doing the horizontal mambo with the Cardinal. The monkey doesn’t last too long and the Pope pulls a switcheroo on the poisoned drinks effectively taking out his nemesis.
To celebrate his victory, Alexander moves his beautiful mistress Giulia Farnese (Lotte Verbeek) into Orsini's now vacant palace which includes a passage that leads into the Vatican walls. He wastes no time making use of the tunnel to have nightly pulpit poundings with the ravishing redhead who dishes out her dainty rackage. The Borgias babes will make you break your vow of chastity!
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