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Tales From the Darkside: The Movie

Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

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Review

A spinoff of the anthology TV show that ran from 1983 to 1988, Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990) is an omnibus of horror and comedy and thrills, with a trio of tales from writers as diverse as Stephen King, Lafcadio Hearn, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. As a framing device, viewers meet young Timmy (Matthew Lawrence) who is trapped in a cage in Betty's (Deborah Harry) house, as she prepares to cook and eat him as part of a witchy ceremony. Trying to stall, he decides to read her three spooky stories from a book he finds. The first, "Lot 249" is based on an old Arthur Conan Doyle short story, and centers around a grad student (Steve Buscemi) who gets revenge against a few fellow students who've wronged him by unleashing a mummy on them. The second, "Cat from Hell' is based on a Stephen king short story and centers around an old man (William Hickey) who hires a professional assassin (David Johansen) to kill a cat the old man thinks is evil and murderous. The final story is "Lover's Vow," based on a Japanese ghost story first brought to the West by Lafcadio Hearn, that's all about a struggling artist (James Remar) who sees a gargoyle come to life, only for everything to improve after he promises the creature that he won't tell what he saw. We can't keep it a secret that we saw a bit of Rae Dawn Chong's chimichangas in the gargoyle story. After the run-in with the statue, our artist manages to woo her and do her, which lets us see him run his hands all over her jiggly jugs in a darkly lit sex scene. That scene will have you hard as stone! We only wish she was also willing to show her backside or maybe get on top for a ride in Tales From the Darkside: The Movie!