Slim pickins' on DVD and Blu-ray this week, Skin fans: when a flash of the can from Kate Bosworth's body double in Straw Dogs (2011) is your breast bet, you know things are looking grim. If, on the other hand, you're looking for some family fun in the form of Glee: The Concert Movie, Dolphin Tale, or One Tree Hill, Season 8, then you're in luck...but unfortunately, you're also on the wrong blog.
Anyway, also nude on DVD and Blu-ray this week are Zoe Saldana('s body double) in Columbiana (2011), Jennifer Morrison stripping to her skivvies in Warrior (2011), and some blind boobage in the Spanish thriller Julia's Eyes (2010):
The British home-invasion shocker gets a Southern-fried update in Straw Dogs (2011). Screenwriter David Sumner (James Marsden) and his wife Amy (Kate Bosworth) recently relocated from LA to her family farm somewhere in the Deep South. He’s looking for some peace and quiet to work on his new screenplay, but when a group of rednecks led by creepy good ol’ boy Charlie (Alexander Skarsgard) start harassing Amy, and then attack her, David goes over the edge. Kate is great in nipply, braless tank tops and teeny-tiny running shorts, and her body double flashes some cheek in the climactic scene, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Susan George in the original. This Straw Dogs is nothing but a straw man.
Zoe Saldana is born for vengeance in Colombiana (2011). After 9-year-old Cataleya Restrepo (Saldana)’s parents are killed in front of her, she channels her grief into martial arts and weapons training. All grown up (and out), Cataleya’s become a stone-cold fox as well as a stone-cold assassin. While working for her uncle as a hitwoman, Cataleya hunts down the men who killed her family and gets her revenge, one bullet at a time. Revenge is beautiful indeed with gorgeous, exotic Zoe pulling the trigger. You’ll be pulling your trigger too when you see this svelte, sexy assassin kicking ass and taking names in slinky, tight outfits. Colombiana will make you empty your chamber!
The rules may have changed, but Rocky fans will get a familiar thrill from Warrior (2011). Tommy (Tom Hardy), the youngest son of alcoholic former boxer Paddy Condon (Nick Nolte), comes home for the first time in fourteen years to ask his dad to train him for Sparta, the biggest tournament in MMA history. While Tommy quickly rises through the fighting ranks, his brother Brendan (Joel Edgerton) reluctantly returns to the ring hoping to raise desperately-needed money for his wife (Jennifer Morrison) and kids. But before he can take home the belt, he’ll have to face (and fight) his own flesh and blood. Jennifer delivers a 1-2 punch bending over in black panties as she talks to her hubby 25 minutes in. But if she wants to really knock Mr. Skin off his feet, she'll have to take the gloves off (among other things).
A woman rushes to finds her sister’s killer before she loses her eyesight in Julia’s Eyes (2010). In this Spanish chiller presented by Guillermo del Toro, Julia (Beln Rueda) is slowly going blind from a degenerative illness. But that’s actually the least of her concerns- she’s more worried about her twin sister Sara (also played by Rueda), who was recently found swinging from a noose in the basement of her house. The police write Sara’s death off as suicide, but Julia knows better when she feels an invisible, malicious presence at the funeral. Now Julia is in a race against her own body as she rushes to solve the mystery before the lights go out forever. You’ll be thanking your lucky stars you can see when Beln walks into a locker room full of blind women unselfconsciously baring their boobs and butts 17 minutes in. That’ll put the tip on your cane!
C U Next Year, Skin fans, for all the newest and nudest releases on DVD and Blu-ray right here at the Mr. Skin blog!
